


Never too late

by Endee, girlsloveyaoi



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: And neither is Clint, Angst, Asgard's sense of justice is fucked up, Big Bro Thor, Fury is not gonna like this, Loki will probably never be the same again, Lots of creative license because the authors are not doctors, M/M, PTSD, Physical and psychological trauma, RP, Rape, Seriously Messed Up Stuff, Stanner, Thorki - Freeform, Thunderfrost - Freeform, Torture, Very dark themes, glorious angst, loki!whump, odin's A+ parenting skills, sciencebros
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-11-14
Packaged: 2017-12-25 10:39:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 49,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/952098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Endee/pseuds/Endee, https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlsloveyaoi/pseuds/girlsloveyaoi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two years since the attack on New York. They rebuilt. They survived. And they were safe, knowing that the Chitauri were gone and the war criminal Loki was in Asgard, facing his deserved justice. For Bruce and Tony, life couldn't be better... Until Thor suddenly shows up at Stark Tower, pleading for their help while carrying someone neither of them thought would ever see again. And perhaps... Asgard, the Golden Realm, wasn't as pure and just as it made itself out to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was reading old RPs on my hard drive and stumbled upon this one, started a year ago when we felt like writing something really heavy. We never got far with it but it was FUN, so I figured I might as well put it up here as we want to continue writing for this sometime soonish.
> 
> Because it's a RP it's written like one, meaning there are still seperate posts divided by a -=-=-=- line. Please don't let that stop you, experience tells us the format works even in this place (that and I already have plenty of editing to do without shuffling posts around to remove the break lines XD). Speaking of editing, I've filtered out most of the typos but there might still be a few I missed. If you spot any grave errors, please let me know and I'll fix them asap.
> 
> As usual with our stories, the warnings are there for a reason so please heed them. Warnings for this chapter include **graphic detail of torture-inflicted injuries and mentions of rape.**
> 
> Thor and Tony are played by Girlsloveyaoi, Loki and Bruce are played by me (NecrosisDemon) and all other characters are played by us both. Enjoy.

He needed a blasted cellular device.

Feet touched down, indentations marking the grounds beneath him as the sky lit with the Bifröst's light. Such illumination, a spectacle similar to that of an Aurora. Doubtless someone would notice, and of no concern if they did.

His panicked mind couldn't fret with such details, reciting the ten digits of the telephone number repeatedly, arms tightening around precious cargo.

Dead of the night it was, the nearest being, a woman walking her dog, in complete awe, jaw dropping at the sight, Thor almost questioned was one so young would be in Central Park at such an hour, but he held tongue. Brain addled, grip tightening around his brother, he boomed more forcefully than intended, said girl jumping at a thunderous voice.

"I'm in need of a cellular communicator at once!"

The stare was blank, her eyes flitting to Thor's arms to his face himself. Blessed be darkness, they hid what never should be witnessed,

"Now!" 

Rude yes, but hardly unnecessary, the girl shaking her head and fumbling with her phone, shakily attempting to hand it to Thor.

No, letting go was not an option! Never would his brother be denied his presence! "Dial, dial this number quickly."

Shaky fingers entered each digit he called out, the phone ringing five times before it was sent to voice mail, Thor's foot slamming into the Earth below. "Re-dial!" This time desperation, the blood on his hands sickening his already nauseated body.

Again it rang, and in the time it took Loki gripped his red cape, the emaciated body of one so precious and dear to him trembling. A broken leaf in a brewing storm.

And he was to blame. Partially in the least.

"Forgiveness, brother." Whispered as a plea, pressing his head to Loki's, gesture tender. "Forgiveness for the blind that you have made see, for the... the stupid man you have made wise. I prithee thee, my dearest Loki."

Lies and deceit, all of it. His entire life a void of filth, of vengeance, of puppetry. He played the marionette as his brother suffered for his negligence. No greater fool ever existed than he...

_"Who the hell are you..."_ a slight pause, frustrated and breathless, but the voice familiar. _"… Nikki, is it? Why are you calling m-"_

"Tony Stark?" Why he questioned it he could not say, it was clear, but his thighs trembled and his heart ached, his maddening curse of a life crumbling before him.

An eyebrow rose, and Tony scratched his head, looking to his curious lover, giving Bruce a shrug. _"Thor? What's going on?"_

"Do you remember, Tony Stark?" He bent, face pressed to the receiver, his voice echoing over the speaker for both Avengers to hear. "When I voiced concern for my brother?"

_"Yes?"_

"And, how you prompted thorough investigation?"

_"Yeah, Thor, two weeks ago, got it."_ He paused, pinching the bridge of his nose as he fingered the lube in his opposite hand. _"It's three AM, is there a point-"_

"Prepare Bruce Banner. My brother, he's not well... they... he..." With no more to say, to the sky he took, quickly thanking the girl for her time, leaving a baffled Tony and Bruce to put the pieces together. 

"I hope he's fucking with us." It was all Tony could say, not more than half a minute passing before a thunderous boom alerted him.

"… Guess he's not." Wonderful. Wiping a lubed hand on the sheet beneath him, he pulled on a pair of pants, fairly certain Bruce was doing the same, with some urgency. There was something clearly wrong... but Thor wouldn't bring him of all people...

Meeting in the kitchen Jarvis turning the lights on, Tony waited for his eyes to adjust... because that couldn't be right. No... who the...

Thor's immediate approach and clacking boots beckoned attention, the usually kept hair strewn about his face, a desperation in his eyes and voice, the like of which Tony never witnessed. "Your assistance, Bruce Banner... Tony Stark..." Uneven breathing, and Tony's bewildered eyes were glued to the blue form before him, a heavily scarred arm, littered with infection dangling from under the cape.

A scientist, curiosity peaked, and he moved the cape, eyes widening as he stared at Bruce, nothing short of horrified. "… This... is this Loki?"

A barely there nod, Thor's voice hitching in his throat. "Aye... in his true form, aye." 

Tony couldn't believe it... he was so intent on ostracizing Thor for a prank, or for bringing Loki here but...

As more blood dripped to the floor, Tony's eyes darted between Thor and Bruce, dumb struck. H-how could he possibly say no...

"Infirmary, five floors down... take a look, Bruce. " Because he couldn't, he couldn't look at this with out gagging- the wounds smelled, Thor looked about to cry, and Tony... he gulped, hoping Bruce would stay calm. "I'll be back, I'm suiting up...."

"No, he's of no threat!" 

A pained groan accompanied the quick movement, Tony elaborating. "Into scrubs, Thor... it's medical attire." He clapped a hand on Bruce's shoulder, squeezing. "I'll meet you there."

Thor could only nod, eyes too full of the sight of his brother limp in his arms, his face tucked away against his shoulder, damaged, broken... what had he done? What had his father done?

… And what had he done, to allow this to happen?

-=-=-=-

Cold wind movement hands touch pain fear anger panic

The fabric was an uncomfortable tightness around his body, the material scratching and aggravating the wounds all over his body. But that was alright. Discomfort was alright. Pain was bad, but discomfort was good.

Pain was bad because it came when he was bad, even though he always tried so hard to be a good boy. Discomfort was good because it meant that he was alone, with no one around to inflict new pain.

But he wasn't alone. There were hands. He was being held. Hands hurt, hands brought pain, or they normally did, but these didn't. Confused, he was confused. Had he been bad then?

… yes, he had been bad. Always bad. He had left his cell and he hadn't been given permission to do so. Father would be angry, so so angry. He would bring more... pain.

Loki whimpered in fear and tightened his grip, thin bony fingers crusted with dried blood gripping onto the edges of Thor's armor. He was going to be punished. He had disobeyed, he was out of his cell even though he didn't know who it was that was holding him. Didn't matter. It was his fault. It was always his fault.

Where were they going? Who was with him? He heard words but he couldn't make them out. The voice though, the voice was familiar? Thor? 

No, not Thor. Thor had stopped visiting. His brother's had been the one bright light in the new life he led in Asgard's dungeon, the only thing to look forward to, but big brother no longer cared and Odin had confirmed that. And everything that Odin said was true.

So cold... he didn't want to be here. He wanted to go back... back to his cell, where it was safe. Where _they_ couldn't find him. 

_please let me go I'm sorry I'll be good I won't leave again please don't hurt me I'm trying so hard to please you father I'm trying so hard to make you happy_

He tried so hard and he always seemed to fail at it.

~*~

“In here.”

Bruce quickly led the way into the room and yanked away the sheets of the larger hospital bed. The infirmary wasn't used that often; whenever someone of the team got hurt, most of the time they were patched up in the medical facility of SHIELD, or occasionally in a normal hospital, but Tony had an infirmary added to his Tower just in case.

He was glad they had access to it now... this was one patient they couldn't bring anywhere else.

“Put him here. Keep him upright.” He helped Thor put his brother on the bed; he had caught a glimpse of the wounds on the god's back and they looked nasty, but the bruises on his chest made it impossible to place him face down either. Thor didn't seem to want to let go anyway.

Bruce quickly scrubbed his hands and put on a pair of surgical gloves, taking a large med kit back to the bed. This was not what he had expected to be doing at this time in the night – he and Tony had been planning to do some _very_ different, but this had priority.

He was convinced of it even more as he carefully peeled the red cape away, wincing as it snagged at drying blood and open wounds, showing the mess that was underneath. It was hard to believe that this... this... broken thing was Loki, the proud, arrogant, overly confident trickster god who had nearly gotten the entire world to kneel for him two years ago.

But now... the fact that he was frikkin' blue was the least of his problems! “Tony, towels. Lots of them. And hot water. I have to clean this.” His lover was already almost of the door as Bruce called over his shoulder to bring a bottle of alcohol as well.

Looking back at the wreck of a man in front of him he pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep calming breath, and carefully peeled away more of the cape. God, where to even begin? 

Loki was shaking uncontrollably but it was unclear whether it was from fear, or pain, or because he was cold. Most likely a mixture of all three. Bruce could count every rib, his shoulder blades, collar bones and hipbones sticking out sharply. He resembled a skeleton with pale blue-greyish skin tightly stretched over it and the bumps on his chest were clear signs of broken ribs. Emaciated. That's what he was.

Discolored bruises littered his frame and he was bleeding from numerous cuts and gashes. His back was littered with them, a crisscross mess of deep wounds oozing puss and as Bruce leaned closer, he thought he could actually see bits of his spine. The wounds were that deep.

“Jarvis...” Another deep, calming breath. “I need a body scan stat. A list of every injury, old and new.”

_“Right away, sir.”_

He noticed that Loki was holding on to Thor's chest plate with bony fingers... fingers that seemed to be lacking nails. Dried blood crusted his inner thighs and Bruce tried not to look at that, instead focusing on Loki's face.

The trickster was keeping it hidden in the crook of Thor's neck, muffling his soft, pitiful whimpers he couldn't seem to stop. All Bruce saw was a matted mess of entangled black hair, much longer than it had been when he had last seen the god.

“Loki, please look at me.” he murmured softly, keep his voice purposely calm in order not to spook him but Loki didn't even respond. Perhaps he hadn't heard him.

Flicking his eyes up to Thor Bruce sighed and reached out to, as gently as he could, grasp Loki's chin to turn his face towards him, but the second his fingers touched the god jerked in fright and Bruce quickly removed his hand. It was almost awkward, as if Loki was trying to jerk away from him as well as trying to stay put at the same time, resulting in a sort of sad, weak flailing.

Gritting his teeth Bruce shook his head and reached out again, “Sorry, Thor.”, and this time held on as Loki again jerked at his touch, letting out short panicky gasps of air. There was no resistance as Bruce turned the god's face towards him... and he almost wished there had been.

Loki's face was a mess, bruised and bloody and cut. His mouth was held tightly together with what seemed to be thick leather twine, crisscrossing over his lips but that wasn't even the worst of it.   
But really made him feel sick to his stomach was the metal plate, rounded so it fit over Loki's eyes, its sharp edges cutting into inflamed skin. There were two bolts on either side and it was clear they had been drilled right into his skull to keep the plate in place.

Bruce couldn't help himself; he abruptly turned and stomped away from the bed. Bracing his arm against the wall he leaned his forehead against its cool smooth surface, gulping in air as he fought not to throw up, and more importantly... not to Hulk out. What sick person... what sick son of a bitch would do something so cruel, so... so...

The door opened again and Bruce glanced up at Tony with a wide eyed stare. He didn't have words for it. Not for this. This was too much.

-=-=-=-

The only important audible sounds were his brothers constant whimpers.

Into his neck, clinging to him, a shell of what he once was. Teeth bit tongue as Loki whimpered, Bruce tilting his face upward, the look saying all before he turned and walked away, leaning against the wall.

If Thor hadn't been witness to the sight, he wouldn't believe it. Calloused fingers stroked a bolt, crusted skin and blood healing over it, a testament to how long it had been there. The smell was horrible, and not just of filth; dried blood, fresh blood, waste, and infection. He reeked of infection, of grime, filth... his finger trailed to thin lips, held together by thick, twisted material. Flinching at every touch, twisting, Thor visibly saw his brother's heart race beneath his chest. 

"I'm here Loki." Lied to for months, told Loki hadn't wanted his visits... how foolish he had been. Signs, clear and evident, yet he could not see them... fool. Such a fool, his brother paying for his own incompetence yet again.

Doubtful his presence soothed him, Thor attempted anyway, taking a skeletal hand betwixt his own and pressing lips against it, ignoring the grime. Before him lay only his brother, the one constant he had ever known, yet never knew to be true, until now.

Banner stayed turned, Thor attempting to concoct a sentence when Tony reappeared. His thankfulness at his presence would never truly be understood. Instead his hand remained around Loki's, the other stroking matted hair as he cooed into the still of the room. "Your brother is here, Loki... none will harm you any longer." Whether he believed that or not was another story.

Tony listened briefly, eyes drifting to Loki. The bottle met his lips before he could help it, the stinging trail down his esophagus a comfort he wished he could offer Bruce. How he was in control was almost beyond him.

A metallic plate, sealed lips, emaciated, broken bones, lacerations, deep infectious wounds... at closer inspection, no finger nails to be seen save one growing in horrendously, Thor's cooing the only other audible sound besides quick gasps for air.

The bottle met his lips yet again, a hefty chug gone before it was set aside, Tony leaning against the wall. Little experience in the medical field, he was an engineer and a physicist, but certainly not a doctor. But like hell if he'd allow Bruce to 'Hulk out,' they'd been making such progress...

He was competent enough to know something had to be done... perhaps cleaning him. Couldn't treat bleeding wounds if they were barely visible under soot and filth.

"… Jarvis, the results of the scan." A hand found a larger one, fisted against the wall and grabbed hold, squeezing. 

_"Three broken ribs, twenty- separate infected lacerations, three of which reach vertebrae, a fractured pelvis, four bolts screwed into the skull, severe scarring of the shoulder blades and buttocks that will soon prohibit movement if untreated, and a prolapsed large intestine, also infected, and lacerated, sir."_

Tony warily eyed dried blood coating Loki's thighs in thick clumps, swallowing hard, fingers stroking over Bruce's hand. Hoarse was his next question. "The recommended course of action?"

_"Cleansing and stitching first, sir, but surgery is a necessity soon after. You must remove raised keloid tissue, treat the fractured pelvis and attach a temporary colostomy bag, removing about fifteen centimeters of intestine."_

Fuck, intestine removal? Colostomy bags? Bolts in his _head?_

It was clear what Loki's purpose had been, Tony rubbing a hand over his face and peering at Thor. His entire attention was on Loki, cooing, though his eyes met Tony's from across the room, anxiety palpable.

"… If you can't stay, I understand. " Dark eyes met lighter brown, expression entirely serious. He would not risk Bruce's well being, if that meant tackling this with Jarvis as a guide than... he'd make do. "This is..." no words, no possible way of characterizing it, Tony shrugging before pinching his nose. "… beyond anything I've dealt with." Silence, and his hand squeezed harder, offering comfort. "It's your call, whatever is needed I will do." His eyes flicked over to Loki's form again, unable to prevent the shiver.

This would prove to be a long, long night.

-=-=-=-

Bruce listened to Jarvis' words and sighed deeply, closing his eyes. Fuck, it was much, much worse than he thought. Surgery? He had some knowledge in the medical field, he could do stitches and clean and bandage wounds, but he wasn't a surgeon! He was a physicist who's area of expertise lay in gamma radiation!

But Loki... they couldn't send him to a hospital for obvious reasons. Fuck, what do do... what to do?

This was a very stressful situation and Bruce was fighting against the Hulk, who was straining and pushing against the edges of his self control. Perhaps Hulk had recognized Loki, or perhaps he was just angry at the sight of the horrible abuse. Who knew? Bruce sure didn't, and if he didn't no one did.

Still he couldn't allow Hulk to come out now.

His eyes were tinted green as he glanced at Tony, his lover trying to comfort and calm him, to take some of the burden. He couldn't let Tony deal with this on his own either. He looked away again, his nails digging into the wall as he tried to keep control. _No Hulk, no!_

Hulk wasn't agreeing and Bruce grit his teeth, fighting against him. _Tony needs me now, Hulk. He needs me!_

That seemed to help... Contrary to popular believe the Hulk wasn't just a dumb muscle head, he just preferred to let his fists do the talking and answered with smashing most of the time, but it was no secret that the big guy was very fond of 'metal man'. Feeling Hulk reluctantly recline back to the corners of his mind Bruce breathed out a sigh of relief and pushed away from the wall, offering Tony a nod, his eyes once again their normal light brown without any hints of green.

They made their way back to the bed and got to work immediately, Bruce giving Tony instructions as they went along.  
Priorities first, get all the infected wounds cleaned and bandaged, then remove the stitches and the metal plate. Surgery would have to wait until they figured out a plan. Quite possibly they'd have to inform someone else to help them out.

Bruce took a pair of scissors and slowly cut his way through the thick matted mass of hair, leaving it about the length it had been when he had last seen Loki. Tossing the clump of hair in the garbage he and Tony started working on Loki's back first, using alcohol and the hot water to clean it as best they could.

It had to hurt, horribly... the frightened, anguished sounds Loki was muffling against Thor's shoulders tore right through his heart, but Bruce didn't dare to use any kind of numbing medication or anesthesia on the god. He didn't know how that would effect him and how much he would need... in the worst case scenario Loki could have a bad reaction to it and make his condition even worse.

The edges of the gashes were so infected Bruce had no choice but to use a scalpel to cut them away, having Thor and Tony to hold the god still as Loki weakly trashed and cried. “I'm sorry, Loki. I'm sorry.” He kept repeating the words as he worked, blood dripping down his fingers. He couldn't deny he wasn't relieved when Loki finally stilled and stopped squirming; a quick check proved that he was still breathing, but out cold.

“He's just unconscious, Thor.” he said as he saw the god's frantic worried expression. “Trust me, it's better this way. At least he's not feeling any pain right now.”

Wiping his forehead with his sleeve Bruce tossed the scalpel to the side and moved around to check Loki's ribs. Most of them were bruised but three of them were indeed broken and, though already healing, two were misaligned. He had no choice but to break them again in order to set them straight.

That done he had Thor hold Loki upright with his arms out of the way, and with Tony's help wrapped the gods chest from his collar bones all the way down to his hips with bandages, tightly to keep the bones in place, gauze pads soaked in disinfectant over the gashes. He didn't dare to stitch them, not wanting to risk sealing the infection inside. At least the wounds could breathe like this, it would speed up healing, but the bandages would have to be refreshed every few hours or so. Bruce made a mental note to ask Jarvis to raid the nearest apothecary for more.

Next up was the mess between Loki's legs. Again, he couldn't do much but clean the area as well as he could and stop the bleeding, trying to keep a professional air about it all and _not_ think about what he was working on exactly. Surgery would have to be done within the next few days, sooner rather than later, but they really needed to think about that first.

Throwing away the dirty water they filled the bucket with hot water fresh from the tap and got to work cleaning away as much grime, filth, blood and god knows what else off Loki's skin, disinfecting cuts and using a medical stapler, gauze pads and bandages on the wounds that needed more attention. They cleaned the blood from his fingers and Bruce swallowed down the bile he felt rising up in his throat when he saw that the one finger nail he still had was growing in. He had no choice but to pull it out.

“Why is he blue?” he asked Thor after a moment, needing something to distract himself with from his angry thoughts. He _was_ angry, at the ones who had done this, at Odin... but also at Thor for not bringing in Loki sooner.

Loki was a pale blue-grey color, with lighter lines forming an intricate pattern all over. He knew that Loki was adopted, but he hadn't thought that he'd also be from a different race.

By the time they were done cleaning him up the trickster almost resembled a mummy, and Bruce picked up the scissors again.  
The leather around Loki's mouth were tough; he had a hard time cutting through them and an even harder time pulling them out of the god's lips. These had been in there for a long, long time. How long had Loki been suffering? The battle with the Chitauri happened nearly two years ago, but surely it couldn't have been that long?

Cleaning and taping the puncture wounds with gauze Bruce's eyes flicked to the last thing that needed attention right now; the metal plate. “Bolts and metal are your area of expertise, Tony.” He wasn't very skilled with a screw driver, and those four bolts needed very careful handling and a steady hand.

-=-=-=-

Cradling him, even as he thrashed wildly, was all he could do. Even that became useless as his brother lost the battle, unconscious body limp in his arms. Banner may have point, but it did little to remedy his conscience.

Silently, he watched them work, matted hair cut and body stitched, bandaged, wrapped - breath caught in his chest, Thor averting gaze as a lone fingernail was quickly yanked out, infected mess making itself known. Suffering of such large proportions... why hadn't he known? Why hadn't he seen it?

His only response was a gulp, eyes watching over Loki as Tony Stark picked up a screw driver, visually measuring each bolt.

_Think of him as a machine, he won't feel it right now._ The only comfort he could offer himself, flat end of a screw driver digging into a rusted screw. Healed flesh would be re opened, blood spilled. Tony breathed deep, addressing Thor- Bruce had seen enough tonight. His lover needed no more stress... not that Thor did but if he had to choose...

"Hold his head in place." Mechanical was his voice, attempting to remain unaffected. "It'll be quicker, less painful."

Fingers held either side of Loki's jaw, Tony pressing the screw driver in and turning much harder than he hoped he had too. Thankful they both were of Loki's state; being conscious would have left him screaming. He wiped the blood obstructing his view, carefully pulling out one bolt slowly before working on another, a different screw driver applied as he twisted.

A full fifteen minutes to remove the damn thing, crusted blood mixing with fresh dribbles. Wiping Loki's face, dissovable butterfly stitches were placed at each hole, the wounds not deep..... just horrifying. A purple bruise surrounded the plates whereabouts, Tony tracing it momentarily. So tight, it left blood clotting bruises under skin.

"Thor.... what the fuck?" They hadn't even begun to treat the worst injuries, and he couldn't help anger that laced his voice. This was beyond neutrality, damn it.. .this was beyond torture, beyond reason.

Time stilled, Thor unable to find adequate response to Tony's growing irritation. The words on his tongue would not bode well, yet they were truth. Horrible, horrible truth.

"Had I known the severity, I'd have taken Loki long ago." Oily hair was traced, a tenderness to his touch that brothers alone possessed. "Recall my words of worry, how crest fallen at Loki's refusal to view me- lies, all of it." Lips pressed to cool skin, grief held to voice as clouds did rain. "Had I known Odin's true intentions, of the deceits, I'd never have tolerated this. Ever. Against my own father's will- what I witnessed transpire-" No, he couldn't speak of it. He cursed his name, the now twisted fate of being Odinson a gut to his side, and Tony marked his grief with a nod.

"… How long has he been in this state?" Much softer was his voice, and the answer Thor did not quite have. "… Three months time since my visit last, the scars on his back- I questioned intention then, but... the plate, the infection, his-" he couldn’t speak of it, gesturing to Loki's thighs, Tony taking the hint with a nod. "Had I any clue of the torments... his behavior, a shell of what once was-" A hand tightened against his shoulder, Thor meeting dark brown eyes will tears. As for Tony himself, he needn't hear anymore. "Bruce, wake up the team, or at least Rogers. Jarvis, coffee, lots of it." His hand dropped from Thor's, giving Bruce a quick squeeze before heading toward the kitchen. Scotch, they all needed scotch... and for once he didn't mind sharing.

-=-=-=-

Bruce worked silently as Tony questioned the thunder god. The metal plat had left deep indentations in Loki's skin, which had already been trying to grow over the metal. It would have to be kept clean, like pretty much everything else. He wrapped bandages around Loki's head, letting them go over his eyes as well – he didn't want Loki to wake up and freak out because he could see again. They'd have to coax him into it gently.

With that done, Bruce nodded and left the room, flipping out his cellphone and ringing Steve's number. It dialed... and kept dialing; no surprise there, it was 4AM by now and Steve was probably still sleeping but Bruce kept up, and by the tenth dial the other line finally picked up.

_“Hmh... Bruce? Do you know what time it is?”_

Bruce tapped his fingers against the wall and nodded, while glancing in the direction of the infirmary. “Yes Steve, it's four in the morning, but I wouldn't call you this early if it wasn't important.”

Hearing the rustling of sheets he knew he had the Captain's immediate attention and he didn't wait for the standard 'what happened?' question.

“We received a call from Thor an hour ago and he sounded panicked. He came in carrying...” A deep breath... there was no way to break this gently, Steve didn't know about anything yet. “... carrying Loki with him.”

_“Loki?!”_ More rustling followed the sound of Steve's footsteps as he hurried to find his clothes in the dark. _“Are you serious? Have you informed Fury yet? Do we need to assemble?”_

“No Steve, no. It's much more complicated than that. I... I can't explain it over the phone. Would you please come over here right now? You have to see it to believe it.”

_“... are you and Tony alright, Bruce?”_

“Yes, we're fine. Really. Just a bit shaken up but the big guy hasn't smashed anything yet and he's not going to. Just... come here, please. Quickly. And don't tell anyone.”

_“There's no threat then?”_

“... not in the way you think. Trust me, Steve.”

_“Alright... give me ten minutes.”_

Bruce clicked his phone shut and headed towards the kitchen. He and Tony could fill Steve in before they led him into the infirmary, and that way Thor had some more time to calm down and get settled with his brother, now that he was out of immediate danger. He was using the term loosely.

“He's coming in ten.” he said as he walked into the kitchen. The percolator was already purring happily and a few bottles of scotch and whiskey already stood waiting on the table. Bruce didn't drink but he wondered if that stuff was even strong enough for Thor.

“I think we shouldn't inform anyone else yet, and definitely not Fury. And we still have two weeks before Clint and Natasha return from their mission in Africa.” He sighed and slumped down in a chair, hands in his hair. “I'm not quite sure how to break it to Steve though. He doesn't know about anything yet.”

-=-=-=-

"No, he doesn't does he?" It was probably unfair for him to drink when Bruce literally couldn't. Then again he was called selfish for a reason...

Guilt aside, he shotgunned another shot, his tolerance far superior to Rogers anyhow. Clint and Natasha, to see the look on their faces...

They'd grown much closer, a few of them. They were all a team for sure, but there was no denying how close Bruce and he had become, how he enjoyed Clint's ridiculous sense of humor and Thor's odd obsession with his inventions, despite his often misconceptions. Even Rogers aggravated him significantly less. It just made everything that much harder.

"Thor did tell him about his concerns with Loki, just not in as much detail." The two blondes tended to converse honestly, but Rogers had been away on a SHIELD mission for a few weeks, namely when Thor's concerns peaked. He had no idea the anxiety his teammate held, nor the circumstances surrounding the situation.

Tony frowned yet again, rubbing his face, before scooting his chair over and plopping his head onto a broad shoulder. "I'd say let Thor explain it, but he'd get teary eyed again... and as much as I adore you big guy, it's not time to smash yet." The Hulk always loomed, Tony often referring to him in conversation because... why not? He liked the attention, and it kept him at bay.

"I'll do the talking if it's easier. I have no idea what we'll do about the colostomy bag, but that'll need to be completed soon..." He didn't expect a response, stifling a tired yawn, stirring at the slight 'ding' of the coffee maker. Well, at least he'd be awake for Rogers...

In the meantime, Thor could only wait in silence, sitting beside the broken remains of his once strong brother, eyes drinking in every scar.

Soft skin, he remembered it well; centuries ago while they played, while Loki carried him in a drunken state, as the play fought, as they bathed, as they slept near each other on nights when upset, in need of affection.

Twisted now was the image, every pleasant memory bringing him to this, this moment of... he didn’t have the words, none qualified and all failed explanation.

All he had wanted was his brother, the same brother before the tesseract, before the trip to Jotunheim, the same Loki. He once protected with passionate ferocity. That was his intention, letting punishment take its course to once again behold the glory of his former brother.

But best laid intentions were crushed, Odin's lies apparent as Thor lay his head on his brother's chest, the frail heart murmuring against his ear. "Forgiveness brother, for playing the part of a fool." It was hardly deserved.

-=-=-=-

It had been quiet for a while now; Tony and Bruce had left the room to wait for Steve five minutes ago and the only sounds were those of Thor's soft murmurs and apologies, and Loki's own strained breathing.

The first signs that he was beginning to wake up were the small twitches of his fingers, gone unnoticed. The ground was awfully soft. It shouldn't feel soft. He hadn't done anything to deserve something soft to sleep on. The days they gave him a pile of dusty but dry hay as bedding were days that made him happy. He didn't like the floor but the hay only happened rarely... only when father was in a good mood and he was acting like the good boy father wanted him to be. Father always made it so difficult, so hard... and despite Loki's best efforts... to not squirm too much, to stay still, to be quiet... or scream as loudly as he could if that was what father wanted... he hardly ever seemed to do it right.

And still... the ground was soft? Why? He couldn't remember what he had- Loki gasped loudly as the memories suddenly returned. He barely noticed as the pressure on his chest removed itself, followed by the tickle of hair as Thor lifted his head.

He had left his cell! Had been forced to, hadn't wanted to, but he was gone nonetheless! Somewhere where he wasn't supposed to be! And he felt wrong! His thin hands flew up to his face as his breathing quickened in fear, bandaged fingers feeling his mouth and stroking over the soft material wrapped over his eyes, but instead of calming down at the fact the horrible metal plate and the stitches were gone, it just seemed to frighten him even more.  
He jerked on the bed and banged his head against the head board as he clawed at the bandages.

No no no no no this was wrong this was bad father said the stitches and the metal blindfold were necessary that he needed them and now they were gone and father was going to be so angry with him and now he was going to be punished again because he was a bad boy!

~*~

Bruce wrapped an arm around his lover and sighed. He would not let Tony explain on his own but he appreciated the gesture nonetheless. They could inform Steve together.

It didn't take long for the Captain to arrive. He wasn't in uniform but he had his shield with him and his expression was serious and alert despite the dark rings under his eyes as he marched into the kitchen. Bruce pushed his chair back and stood up. He longed to get some sleep but he didn't think he'd be getting any anytime soon. “Thanks for coming on such short notice.”

“Yeah well...” Steve shrugged awkwardly and looked around, suspicion in his eyes. “When you said Loki was here I couldn't exactly delay.” Blue eyes focused on the two again. “So where is he? Should I be worried for another alien invasion?”

“No, it's nothing like that.” Bruce gestured towards an empty chair. “You may wanna sit down. You... remember that a while ago Thor voiced his concerns about Loki's welfare in prison?”

“Yeeaaah? It's a prison, it's not supposed to be comfortable.” His eyes narrowed as he sat down and accepted the offered cup of coffee. “What's going on? You two look like someone just died.” Oh hey, had Loki died? He'd offer his sympathies to Thor if that were the case but hey... one less thing to worry about. Steve Rogers held little to no fondness for Loki.

“It's...” Bruce waved his hands, struggling to find the right words but before he could answer Jarvis interrupted.

_“Sir? Your guest is having a panic attack.”_

Bruce and Tony exchanged quick glances and bolted out of their chairs, running towards the elevator. Steve followed with a confused frown.

Loki was trashing on the bed when they burst into the room, screaming and crying and still trying to rip off the bandages because they were wrong and he needed the metal plate and stitches back before father found out they were gone!

“Hold him down, Thor! Hold him! Do not let him move, he'll damage himself even more!” Fuck he'd rip all the stitches if he kept squirming like that and fuck... his intestines, his pelvis...!

“Loki, stop! Stop!” He tried to grab flailing wrists, working with Thor and Tony to pin the frightened god down on the bed before he really ripped something; fresh splotches of blood were already blossoming on the white bandages. Under normal circumstances he would inject him with something strong and calming but the situation was far from normal. Why had Loki woken up again and why so soon?

Steve remained standing in the doorway, watching the scene in front of him with a disbelieving, shocked look in his eyes.

-=-=-=-

"Loki?" Gentle stirring, Thor’s relieved face softening as he moved, giving his brother space. Appearing confused- and rightfully so- thin hands touched open lips, moving to the cloth over his eyes, before a deafening cry left thin lips.

Evisceration, that's what it sounded like- bony hands dug at his eyelids, at already torn lips, and Thor was left no time to think, let alone act.

"Hold him down, Thor!" Right, yes... but...

Thin wrists fit into his palm with ease, Loki still thrashing as Bruce and Tony held him down. Freshly cleaned wounds opened, blood making its mark as he began to sob, but for what reason was beyond him.

He was free, without harm, what was this reaction?

"Brother, stop this madness! You are safe!" Not a moment to halt, Loki still thrashed, breathless and frail. A saddened heart was all he could offer as the sobs increased, Thor's breath hitching. Why? Why act this way?

"Loki, c'mon!" Bruce wasn't looking to great himself, Tony noting his agitation, green flecks appearing in his eyes again. No, not this again... there was only so much Bruce could tolerate.

"Loki... fucking bad!" The admonishing tone couldn't be helped, the brief halting barely noticed as Tony chastised the way he would anyone else. "Relax, be a good boy and you'll get a treat, hm?"

He expected a lot of things, for Loki to continue thrashing was definitely one of them. But... no. What happened next made Tony let go completely, shooting Thor a bewildered and horrified look.

"What the fuck?" It was all that left his mouth before he gulped in complete confusion. That... wasn't the right reaction.

-=-=-=-

Bruce was about to slap Tony upside the head – that was not how you treated a patient who was already freaking out – but he stopped and stared in wonder as Loki actually, immediately, stopped his squirming. He did not relax, did not stop shaking and whimpering but he allowed himself to be pinned down, trashing no longer.

Tony shared his confusion and as he looked up at Thor, he was surprised to see the confusion visible in the god's blue eyes as well. If not even Thor had expected this reaction, then...

“What just happened?!” Steve was finally coming closer though he didn't seem to dare getting too close to the bed. His eyes were wide and he had one hand entangled in his hair as he looked at what was lying on the bed. “Is that... is that... Loki? how? Why is he blue? What is going on?!”

“Please keep it down, Steve. We'll explain everything we know, which... isn't a lot to be honest.” Bruce had noticed how Loki flinched at the raise of Steve's voice but he seemed to be flinching at everything... every touch, every time one of them opened their mouth to say something. It was vital that they kept their voices calm and not touched him more than was necessary. 

“Thor, what happened? What triggered this? And why did he stop like that?” Because he sure as hell didn't know. He needed to refit the bandages but he didn't dare to touch Loki again in cause he freaked out a second time.

-=-=-=-

_The blows will worsen further at your refusal to cooperate. Bad boy._

The door seemed so heavy, everything a confused blur. What he witnessed, briefly, hadn't been a one time event.

It was as he feared. The realization, the admittance made his skin crawl, eyes averting as tongue struggled with words. "… it would seem father trained him." Several seconds passed, Thor unable to muster another thought on the topic as Rogers brow furrowed. Tony on the other hand made a noise in the back of his throat, shutting his eyes. 

"… Tell me that shouldn't be interpreted the way it sounds."

Thor's lack response said it all, Tony very visibly remembering the blood and remnants of... crusted fluids, fluids belonging to... his father?

He left to dry heave the contents of his stomach into a waste bin, grateful the bathrooms were damn near sound proof.

Thor in the meanwhile shook, rage, hatred, anger... and absolute horror coursing through him. For how long after his visits ended did this begin? Evidently immediately, judging by Loki's new reformed attitude.

A hand traveled through hair, watching Loki flinch with nothing but remorse. "… Good Loki, good. Stay calm." It sickened him to address his brother, a prince, the silvertongue, like a damn hound. _Odin what have you done?_

-=-=-=-

Bruce slowly closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, having to sit himself down on the nearest chair. This was much, much worse than he had thought. Physical wounds would heal with time... but the mental damage Loki had suffered wouldn't be that easy to fix. He might not even fully recover. There was a good change that he'd never be the same again.

That wasn't necessarily a bad thing but Thor had told them all stories of how Loki used to be, before he started falling into madness. That he had been kind with a near insatiable curiosity, always lingering in the back and following his older brother wherever he went, and that his trickster ways were as harmless as could be.

It was hard to believe that the Loki from Thor's stories was the same Loki they had met two years ago... but then again, it was just as hard to believe that that Loki from two years ago was the same being who now lay on the bed in front of him, broken and possible damaged beyond repair.

“Would someone please tell me what's going on?”

Bruce slowly looked up at Steve. Tony was still in the bedroom and he couldn't ask Thor to explain, so he would have to do it. “I don't know the details but... well, you can see for yourself. This is the result of torture. Horrible, horrendous torture. I tell you, Steve-” He gritted his teeth, sharing the anger Hulk felt. “-this is not what I signed up for when we decided to hand Loki back to Asgard, if this is their idea of punishment. This is way, _way_ overdoing it.”

Steve nodded slowly, agreeing. This was indeed... there were no words for this, and this would have to be kept a secret. For now anyway. “Why is he blind folded?”

Instead of answering Bruce picked up the discarded piece of metal and pushed it in Steve's hands, who frowned, not understanding what it was for until he spotted the blood crusted bolts, bits of blue skin still sticking to the metal. He dropped it immediately, and instantly regretting it as Loki flinched again.

“So... what can I do?” he asked as he looked at Bruce and Thor both. “We are not equipped to deal with something like this.”

“I dunno...” Bruce shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even more. “Jarvis made scans. Loki needs surgery soon... his pelvis is broken and he needs fifteen inches of intestine removed but no one here is qualified to do such a thing. I really don't know...”

-=-=-=-

A few more coughs, Tony flushed twice, the churning finally subsiding. Sick, completely sick! Granted he was adopted but that Odin was the only father he knew! He disliked his own father but... fuck. He brushed his teeth quickly, rinsing and making sure he looked half way decent before exiting the bathroom, thoroughly washing his hands. This was beyond f.u.b.a.r.

He passed by in time to hear Bruce mention the scans and surgery, an idea coming to mind. "… we could do the procedure here."

Three sets of eyes stared at him, Tony elaborating briefly. "I've designed the medical robots being used in Hofstra and NYU. It's not all that complicated, and they're much more precise than surgeon's hands."

"Yeah, but you don't have a medical degree." Rogers rubbed his temples, recalling the plate he just touched and squirmed.

"I'm not an astrophysicist either, but I did a pretty good job on the SHIELD helicarrier. And there were many more lives at stake." Not that he was gambling Loki's... if one called his predicament 'living'.

"I'm not against the idea, but it's risky. His anatomy is probably different."

Tony could only shrug. "I'll have Jarvis conduct another scan. We really don't have any other options here." Scratching his neck, Tony laid his eyes back on Thor, watching him briefly. "… I think it would be best if you stayed with him." Though he doubted Thor would leave.

Thor hardly heard the news about him; indeed, options were less than plentiful as of late. Tony Stark, operating on his brother... Thor nodded, closing his eyes, fingers stroking along Loki's gaunt cheek. Any qualified surgeon would probably let him die...

"Indeed, I'd like that." He'd stay by his brother's side, through everything. He shouldn't have left it, that was made clear. Thor suppressed the urge to scream, his brother flinching at every touch, hating himself for cooing softly. "Good Loki, relax." There was no other way... simply nothing more to do.

There was one thing bothering him, Thor looking upwards at Bruce. "This isn't Asgardian justice, make no mistake. Lashings, beatings- what you call torture is merely justified punishment, our tolerances are simply greater." That was the truth, Thor lowering his gaze to Loki's face. "This... isn't part of that. This was... spiteful, hateful, vengeful... this is not what I represent, what a majority of my people tolerate. Loki was fodder in a game, the same as I... only roles differed." His fingers stilled, forehead pressing into his hands. "I would our roles were switched."

-=-=-=-

“Beating yourself up over it isn't going to help, Thor.” Steve said, remembering how he had been after Bucky died.  
Technically, Loki was still a high-ranking villain on SHIELD's bad guy list but there was no way he would ever stand for having Loki handed back over to SHIELD or Asgard for that matter. He had suffered enough and if there was anything he could do to help, he would.

Frowning he placed his hand on Thor's shoulder and looked down at the mess on the bed. “What's important is that you got him out and got him help. If it weren't for you he'd still be locked up, suffering through more.”

He wanted to know why Loki was blue but it didn't seem right to ask now so instead he looked at Bruce, who stood up.

“We'll go with Tony's idea and use the robots, get surgery done as soon as possible.” He shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “For now I suggest we all get a few hours of rest. Tomorrow I will look up as much as I can about these kind of surgeries and get some blood work done on Loki, try to figure him out so I know what medications are save to use. And Tony can set up a room and the robots required. Steve?”

“Yes?”

“Can we count on you?”

The Captain didn't even hesitate and nodded. “Yes, of course. What you said yourself, this is not what we stand for. If there is anything we can do, let me know.”

“Good... do you need to go anywhere soon?”

“Not unless something comes up. Last night's meeting took longer than expected, which is why I decided to stay the night at head quarters but I was planning on returning in the morning anyway.”

Bruce nodded, pleased. They'd need Steve to keep Thor company during surgery, because the thunder god obviously couldn't stay at his brother's side. He and Tony would be in the surgery room guiding the robots. Bruce reached out and grabbed Tony's hand, holding it much tighter than was usual as he turned to Thor. “Jarvis will keep an eye out as well. If anything happens, call us.”

Bidding the god good night they all left for their respective rooms, Steve taking the elevator down to his own wing as Bruce and Tony returned to the room they shared together. Thor stayed behind with Loki to keep him company. It was meant well, everyone agreed that it would help keep Loki calm but they couldn't have been further from the truth.

Unbeknownst to them, the trickster unable to explain, Loki was fearfully waiting for the first blow to fall. He was too far gone in his mind to recognize Thor by his voice alone, but he was very well aware of the fact that someone was still near him, stroking his hair and telling him he was good.   
But he had learned to expect pain when someone was in the room with him and he had no reason to believe that today was any different.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter include **a graphic flashback of torture, detailed surgery (though probably very unaccurate lol) and more rape mentions**
> 
> As always, if you spot any typos or grave errors let me know.

They barely slept, any of them, for a good two days. Preparation took time, Tony working non stop for hours, preparing each machine and readying each piece of equipment. Scalpels and syringes, stitches and medical staples, gauze, swabs, an IV... no detail was overlooked, save the lack of sleep.

Dark circles under intelligent eyes, shaky- overly caffeinated hands grasping coffee, he offered Bruce an exhausted smile, placing a mug by his side. He'd oversee the internal injuries, and was currently brushing up on his anatomy; Loki may be an alien but they'd try to be as accurate as possible. Bruce was no doubt equally exhausted, Tony both respecting his decision to proceed with him during the operation, and hating it.

The stress could not be good for him, or Hulk.

The issue of anesthetics wasn't exactly solved either; they'd no idea how much was appropriate for Loki, though Tony was quite comfortable with accidentally slipping him a little too much. If things went bad in there... perhaps he'd be better off.

It was hardly his call, though. He'd have that conversation with Thor in a little bit, he and Bruce would.

For the moment, the broader expanse of his lover's body appeared far too comforting, and Tony didn't bother to pull up a chair as he sat on the floor, resting his cheek against a solid, warm thigh as Bruce read. A few more minutes- that's all he wanted before the lengthy surgery. Breaking the news to Thor wouldn't be pleasant.

The god moved little in the days that passed, keeping close to Loki's side- though he frowned repeatedly, noticing every little flinch.

Every noise, every sound, from the stroking of the now clean, soft remnants of hair, to Thor’s kind muttering- Loki flinched irregardless. Face set with frown, Thor made every attempt to increase Loki's comfort, re-fluffing pillows, changing his bandages with the aid of Bruce, idly chattering about memories past.

Yet murmurs and shivers were his only answer, Loki silent save for the occasional whimper.

Today was the day... the day for surgery, a day Thor witnessed the preparations for and could not be more grateful. To see his companions aiding him as desperation hit warmed him, briefly eclipsing the horror he'd witnessed and the guilt felt. While Rogers' attempt at comfort was appreciated, it did little to fill the void in his heart.

"… I'll return Loki, momentarily." Pausing briefly, Thor stroked hair again, lips twitching as Loki flinched. "Stay still, continue to be good for us." He was simply drained, aware of the time, and made his way to the elevator, up to the kitchen. There was something Tony had mentioned wanting to discuss, before the surgery.

He had a good idea what it might be, his throat tightening at the thought.

-=-=-=-

Bruce slowly flipped another page of the report he was reading, a combination of his notes and finds, and what Jarvis had found him on the matter of the kind if surgery he'd be doing. He accepted the coffee with a quietly muttered thank-you, offering Tony a small smile. They were both exhausted... they all were.

Bruce had done as much research as he could but his findings... Loki's blood type was simply bizarre and that could pose a serious problem if during surgery Loki ended up losing too much... they had nothing to replace it with. And though his inner anatomy was similar to that of a human, he seemed to be lacking certain organs and had a few Bruce couldn't even name or guess the purpose of. It probably had to do with being an alien... Thor had finally told him why Loki was blue-skinned, that he was indeed of a different species not native to Asgard and that it was some kind of spell that had made him look like an Aesir, a spell that seemed to have lost its effects.

Either way, Bruce hadn't found any real proof as to whether medication would be safe to use on Loki. They'd have to risk it and guess the dose and hope it would be alright. There was no other option, they couldn't exactly do it without.

Even more worrying was Loki's continued fearful behavior. The bandages were still around his eyes – Bruce wanted to wait with removing them until after surgery – but you'd think that after two days of non-stop kindness from all of them, he'd calm down. But no, the trickster still flinched at every touch, every sudden movement made in his direction, shivering and trembling without pause. 

They had tried to get him more comfortable by giving him lots of blankets and pillows to sleep under but every time they tried, Loki did his very best to kick the blankets away, as if he'd rather be uncomfortable and cold. Bruce had the nagging feeling it had something to do with the training Thor had mentioned.  
Loki also wasn't talking, stubbornly keeping his jaws tightly clenched together whenever they asked him something, and he rarely slept. When he did he jerked awake again within minutes.

All he did was lie in bed, curled up, shaking like a leaf and whimpering like a kicked dog. It was the saddest damn thing Bruce had ever seen, so different from the overly confident God of Mischief they had met before.

He looked up as Thor entered the living room they all shared. He tossed the report on the couch next to him, placing his hand on Tony's head as he cradled his steaming cup of coffee with the other, and Steve mindlessly toyed with the TV remote, nervous fiddling that was unlike him. They had already told the Captain what they were about to tell Thor, and while he didn't like the idea, he agreed it was the best way.

Bruce gestured towards an empty chair and waited until Thor got himself seated, looking incredibly nervous and worried. Very... un-Thor-like, though it seemed to be his standard expression lately.

“We're ready to begin surgery soon, but before we do...” He sighed and drained his coffee before setting the empty cup on the table. “You should be aware of the risks involved. I did as much research as possible but I can't change the fact that I don't know how Loki will react to the medication I'll have to give him. There is a very real chance that there might be complications and given his weakened state...” He left the words hanging there. They already said enough. 

“We'll do what we can for your brother but he might not make it. As he is now he will not stand a chance. He will die. Surgery is his only option for survival but I want you to understand the risks, Thor. We'll go through with it if you do but... I'll understand it if you...” He stopped and took a deep breath... these words weren't easy. “... if you think it's best to end his suffering before it gets possibly worse. He's your brother and he can't make the choice himself, so it's up to you.”

-=-=-=-

He trembled in ways he hadn't since childhood, paralyzed by fear. After such suffering, the days his brother spent alive... this could be his end? Words twisted and tore worse than the sharpest of knives, silence encompassing them.

Supposed to be a king, the duty to rule an entire planet, to ensure safe keeping was upon him... yet he collapsed under the pressure regarding his brother. Almost comical was this plight... even now, Loki hurt him like no other could. He suffered immeasurably, truth be told- Thor had questioned his survival the first night, pondering how just his existence was. Suffering, for him... it seemed so cruel. Ending his pain, so merciful in comparison... the years it'd take to heal those wounds, his altered mentality if he ever did heal...

Unrecognizable was his brother, his former self a laughing, devious adventurer- Thor craved that Loki's return, yet knew him to be as good as dead.

He failed as a brother, as a King- his decision showed that.

"Thor?" Tony kept his voice soft, Thor clearing his throat and raising his head. 

"… May he forgive my selfish reasons, alas I can not let him expire."

It was all the answer Tony needed, nodding once. "… If an issue arises, and there's no choice, anesthesia would by the most painless way. We'll do whatever we can, but if it comes to him..." he wasn't the most diplomatic of men, but the words 'bleeding out all over the table' seemed far too cold, "… being unable to hold on, do we have permission to do that?"

Selfish was Tony's own reasoning- Loki was suffering enough as is, why make him suffer through a painful death if avoidable? He'd rather be done with it quickly than prolong inevitability.

Thor thought a moment, nodding once. "At the exhaustion of all other options, only then."

Silence again, and Tony got to his feet. "We'll do whatever we can." It was all the comfort he could offer, the idea of false reassurance not boding well- not when reality waited for him downstairs.

"I'll ready the bots. We'll keep you both posted when possible." Steve would need to preoccupy Thor, it was clear this was more than difficult for him. Tony couldn't imagine what it was like, to have someone you adored more than anything suffering- he looked to Bruce, offering his hand. Selfishly, he'd never want that burden either.

Thor watched backs turn as they took toward the elevator, heart hammering. In the barest case, just in case Loki ever had a semblance of returning, or healing, or recognizing his brother- Thor shut his eyes, burying his head in his hands. Selfish fool, he wanted his brother returned to his former state, regardless of the pain Loki felt. A chill ran its course, flesh pimpling at the thought.

Cruel like his father, in some ways. A habit he should abandon, causing his brother to suffer. And yet...

"Why don't we see what's on TV?" A poor excuse for a conversation starter, but Steve was making an attempt. He could only imagine what Thor felt- if any idle banter distracted him, he was more than willing to provide it.

And Thor was more than willing to accept, despite the overwhelming guilt.

-=-=-=-

Bruce slowly closed his eyes and accepted Tony's hand, standing up. Surgery it is, then.

Leaving Steve with Thor they took the elevator down to the infirmary where Tony had built an surgery room that wouldn't look misplaced in a hospital. Having the name Tony Stark really had its benefits, as in that he could buy everything he wanted and no one would even bat an eye.

The first thing that Bruce noticed as they entered the room Loki was in, was that the god wasn't shaking this time. He seemed more relaxed than he had seen him so far even though he had been alone... he shared a look with Tony. Maybe that was why he had been so scared all the time, because someone was with him? Bruce winced, already dreading the moment where he would have to tell Thor that his presence hadn't helped Loki.

“Loki?” he called out softly, frowning as the god responded by starting trembling again. As Tony went to fetch the stretcher they had stashed in the room Bruce walked around the bed and knelt down so he wasn't towering over the god, and gently touched a bony shoulder with just his finger tips. “Loki? Tony and I are going to move you to another room, alright? And I will give you something to help you relax. Just... be a good boy and let us do what we have to do, okay?” He really hated talking to Loki like that, but it was the only thing that the god seemed to respond to.

Bruce had already prepared a syringe with a mild anesthetic; he kept speaking softly to the god, informing him of what he was going to do though he doubted Loki even understood what he said, but at least he didn't struggle as Bruce tried to find a vein; Loki was so emaciated it was difficult to get the needle in but after a few minutes of stressful searching he finally managed. 

They waited, watching Loki's breathing carefully as his trembling slowly lessened in force, and lifted him onto the stretcher, strapping him in so he wouldn't fall off, and wheeled him off to surgery. He'd get him attached to a medical ventilator and a heart-rate monitor and feed a drip into him, and while he would supervise the internal damage and give orders, it was Tony's job to actually work the machines.

~*~

“So...” Dirty Jobs was on, but Mike's Rowe's funny commentary just didn't sound as funny as it usually did. Steve was still fumbling with the remote, resisting the temptation to zap the channels, and kept shooting Thor sideways glances. He felt so useless! What could he do to make Thor feel better? To help distract him, since he didn't seem to understand much of the show.

“So um... I heard that Loki wasn't always crazy...? What was he like?”

-=-=-=-

How much time passed? Barely any, yet endless dread ate away at him with no purpose. Television as they called it did little to aid the weary mind, Thor unable to keep focus off Loki for more than an instant.

He visibly flinched at Steve's question, eyes averted. "… There was no madness to him, now or ever." Thor shut his eyes, a deep exhale escaping him. 

_Way to change the subject, Steve._ Internally admonishing himself, Steve opened his mouth to speak but was cut off.

"His actions were somewhat justified, the misinterpretation mine alone." Eyes fluttered open to meet blue, jaw tense. "No mistake made, murders are never excused- but understanding has reached me at long last." Silence, and Steve could only sit awkwardly, listening to Thor continue with an air of dread.

"Before the Chitauri, he let go on the Bifrost bridge." The comment took a moment to register, Steve and the other Avengers familiar with the story, though his eyes widened none the less.

"I-I thought you said he fell?"

"Speculation. I couldn't fathom my brother, the silver-tongued, persistent god always by my side just willingly..." A large hand waved dismissively, the tightening back again, suffocation creeping down the back of his neck. "My father prompted such action, advantage taken at his lowest point- and my presence did nothing but drive the dagger all the deeper."

Steve couldn't think of what to say, except for the obvious. "That wasn't your fault. You were ignorant of the circumstances."

"Ah, which makes it my fault entirely. I'm his brother, the eldest at that- his protection was mine to ensure. I failed him then and continued to fail him concurrently and continuously. Mark, Captain, Loki was never mad- he only sought equality in the face of oppression. Wrong his actions were... I weep for his reasons now."

Silence, Thor looking straight ahead at the television blankly, Steve wringing his hands. "… What was Loki like, before the manipulation?"

That got him a look, Steve wary as Thor shifted... and then lay back, the ends of his lips twitching upward briefly. "Have ye heard the tale of the mighty Thor in a wedding gown?"

Clearly he hadn't, and he smiled just a little wider at the memory, beginning what was a descriptive story of fonder times. Someday, just maybe they'd pick up again.

~*~

Moving Loki was far easier than it should have been, his weight minimal at best as Tony readied each implement, every item sterile. 

_"A single incision need be made, sir. The pelvic bones are fractured in separate places, but within range."_

Tony nodded, looking to the x-ray ahead as he turned on his hand crafted machine, surgical arm and implements at the ready as he looked toward the scan again.

"The incision for the colostomy bag, Jarvis?"

_"That need be made after the fifteen centimeter of intestine is removed, sir. The stoma incision can be done on his right side. A three centimeter incision will suffice for a temporary colostomy."_

Right, he'd be able to switch it back in four to six months, depending on how quickly he healed. This would be interesting to explain, no doubt- a bag filling with waste at the side of the god's body...

That was if the procedure went well. Cutting the intestines could cause infection, with ecoli living in the system- of course he wasn't sure what lived in Loki's body or if this applied but the threat was there.

And still, with the fair chance of demise... he had to ask. He had no idea why, it seemed so foolish but..."… the scarring won't be too noticeable, right?" Adjusting his glasses he met Bruce's gaze with a shrug, exasperated. "… he seemed vain, like me. I was... ugh." Trying to be considerate on the off chance he does make it, saving him from another scar was the least he could do...

_"No sir. The scar will heal well, barely visible if done properly."_

"Mmm." Perhaps, if this went well, he could reduce the raised tissue of the worse looking ones. His mind was racing with little ideas, paying attention to nonsensical details to distract him from his task at hand. Performing surgery on an alien life form who's likelihood of survival was maybe twenty percent. No, he wasn't nervous, not him.

Using the lever, the arm swung to live, attached fingers holding the scalpel to Loki's bare abdomen, markings of the incision points in place. "On your ready, Bruce."

-=-=-=-

Once they were in the surgery room and they lifted Loki from the stretcher onto the bed the first thing Bruce did was attach him to the heart rate monitor, letting the fortunately steady beep fill the room. The drip needle was pushed into Loki's hand and Bruce administered the real anesthetic, crossing his fingers praying that it wouldn't make things worse.

With Loki's body relaxed it was easy to guide the respirator tube down his throat to help breath. Again, just in case.

Prepared now, dressed in appropriate attire he nodded at Tony as the robotic arm came to life.  
Bruce watched closely, trusting Jarvis to keep an eye on Loki's vital signs as the scalpel cut through layers of skin and muscle. The machine really was very steady, Tony had outdone himself on this and he'd show his appreciation later but right now he had to keep his focus on this.

Already he could see the infected, damaged parts of Loki's intestine but they had decided to tackle his broken pelvis first. Carefully pushing organs aside, which were all a strange purplish color they cleaned the area carefully, Tony handing him what he needed as Bruce, with the help of the robotic arm, cleared space. He already knew from the x-rays that there were three cracks in his pelvis, requiring – he shuddered at the memory – metal plates and surgical screws and bolts to repair. He had already had them prepared but actually getting them in place proved challenging as they had to be careful not to rupture the infected part of his intestine.

Bruce let the robotic arm do the actual screwing and bolting of the plates, which was a slow and painstaking process, taking well over an hour to get right. Loki's vital signs were still stable but his heart rate was speeding up, which was a cause for worry but there was nothing they could do about it now. Bruce didn't dare to put more drugs into his system and waking him up was no option yet.

After the last bolt was screwed into bone Bruce put the screw driver away and thoroughly cleaned and disinfected the area before carefully guiding all his organs back in their proper positions, and wiped his brow with his sleeve. “Jarvis, please give Thor and Steve an update. We're halfway through and so far it's going well.” Might as well ease their worries a bit as he looked up at Tony. “Ready for part two?” This was the nasty and most likely, bloodiest part...

-=-=-=-

 

Painstakingly long, careful, and slow, the cracking and repositioning of bone louder than the beeping of the heart monitor. And this was only the first half...

Tony hadn't been looking forward to to this; while his machine was effective, it couldn't sort through torn intestine thoroughly enough single handed. Sterilizing his hands before gloving up, Tony breathed deep taking a brief look at the purple and yellow organ.

Worse than he'd hoped for... the infection was spreading, a yellow puss beginning to line some pockets of intestine. Hesitantly, he pressed his gloved hands to the organ, gently feeling until he reached a measurable point internally. To be safe, seventeen centimeters would need to be cut.

That provided another issue; no internal stoma for Loki. It meant no emptying his bowels once a day, but rather having a small bag on the side of his abdomen. Luckily, technology came far; the odors and discomfort associated with a colostomy bag were a thing of the past; it just had to be emptied out more frequently, a task that could be difficult with Loki's behavior.

It was nothing that could be helped, Tony marking the point of incision and changing his gloves, behind the electronic hand of his machine.

One incision above the rectum; Loki was still horribly swollen, he had no doubt reconstructive surgery would be needed at another point; the scars were thick and rigid over the sphincter. Tony exhaled sharply. That had to have hurt horribly...

Cutting the one piece, a second incision was made, seventeen centimeters into the intestine with the aid of Bruce. The infected piece once removed was placed in a bowl so Bruce could take a look at it later, and Tony replaced the contaminated scalpel with a clean one before making a small incision through his skin, taking the one end of his bowel and connecting it to the newly created stoma.

"Gauze cap." Bruce applied it quickly, the hole opened and intestine attached, a small bag snapping into place. Carefully, Tony took another thorough look inside of Loki, sighing with relief. The infected bits had been completely removed; the area merely needed sterilization.

Stitching the emaciated god beneath him was another slow process, but Tony took his time, layers of muscle and skin placed back together with care, the idea to minimize scaring oddly prominent in his mind. Seeing Loki in this state made him much less angry about being tossed out of that window a couple of years back...

The last stitch in place, he wiped his brow. "Jarvis, let them know we'll be up shortly, and that everything went well." Exhausted but relieved, Tony was honestly surprised everything went so well... and was waiting for the other shoe to drop in the mean time. Still, he smiled at Bruce anyway, intent on taking a long, well needed shower... when the heart monitor began speeding up.

Rapidly.

Shit... he couldn't be waking up now, could he?!

-=-=-=-

_Loki had lost all track of time in his cell. There was only one small window, too high to reach and too narrow to crawl through but at least it allowed him to tell day from night._

_But he had long lost count of how many days he had spent down here, in the deepest, darkest part of Asgard's dungeon._

_Where was Thor? His brother hadn't visited in a while, or at least... it felt like he hadn't. Who knew? Still, Loki wished he was here. Those moments with Thor, brief as they were, were the only thing he had to look forward to. No matter how filthy he was, Thor always let him cuddle up to him, seeking out the warmth of his body, and wrap his cape around him, temporarily chasing away the cold.  
Thor would tell him stories, of what he had been doing, about all his new adventures. Stories about Midgard, and the Avengers, how they were successfully rebuilding after the Chitauri attack. _

_Hearing that they were doing well made Loki happy. He had few memories of his time on Midgard, it was all one big blur of vague images and distorted emotions, like he was trying to recall memories that weren't even his own. And that was probably pretty close to the truth as well; ever since that scepter the Other had given him had been taken away, Loki had felt like a dark veil had been lifted, like his mind was no longer clouded by hate and anger. Like he had been freed._

_It still felt that way, which was an ironic thought considering where he was._

_The sound of a key turning the lock had the trickster snap his head up, eyes widening. For a moment, hope flared up in his chest as more locks were turned, hoping that it was Thor who came to visit, but as the heavy door opened and Odin stepped in, followed by half a dozen guards, his hope was again crushed like an ant._

_Had Thor forgotten about him?_

_Loki quickly scrambled onto his feet and stepped away from the corner he had chosen as his sleeping spot, only because it had the softest bit of cold stone floor in the cell. He quickly stepped into the center of the room, just as he had been taught to do whenever someone other than Thor came to visit.  
He did nothing to hide his nudity – he had nothing they all hadn't already seen from all sides and every angle – and waited, trying to ignore that nagging voice in his head._

_Odin usually never brought this many men with him, unless they had planned something special for today's session, other than the usual beatings and whippings._

_It usually meant something horrible was about to happen._

_Loki barely managed to keep a grip on his own fear, to keep standing still as the six men advanced on him, grabbing his arms dragging him to the large stone table that stood in the cell. Loki just had enough time to appreciate the blood stains that coated it, both his own and that of older victims long dead, before he was pushed down on its cold surface facing the ceiling._

_“F-father?” he asked as his wrists and ankles were strapped into the shackles attaching to the table, holding him tightly in place. His breathing was erratic with anxiety, pushing against ribs prominent under his pale skin, already littered with bruises and scars._

_Odin stood next to the table on his right, staring down at him with that cold expression he seemed to reserve only for his adopted son, and Loki followed his gaze as they moved to the guard standing on the left. He was holding some kind of rounded metal plate but its purpose Loki could only guess. He glanced back at the Allfather, hoping for some clearance, an explanation of what was going on. Was this punishment for a reason? What had he done wrong? He had tried to be good!_

_“Do you know what the one feature is you Jotun possess that really disgusts me?”_

_Loki could only shake his head and began to tremble as Odin reached out and traced a finger just below his eyes. “These. As cold as the realm you came from. The color of blood, of all the innocent victims killed. That you killed. The eyes of a murderer and a monster.”_

_Loki swallowed thickly, trying not to blink despite the tears in case that would somehow anger the Allfather. He was right of course. Odin was always right._

_“And so,” Odin continued and leaned forward slightly, the kind tone of his voice not matching the words. “you should feel grateful that I feel merciful enough to let you keep your eyes. I should burn them out really. You know you deserve that, don't you?”_

_Loki could only nod, shaking from head to toe now, silent tears trickling down his cheeks._

_“So you understand why I have to do this?”_

_Another nod. He didn't understand, didn't even know what Odin was planning but what else could he do?_

_“And you promise you won't struggle against my men?”_

_A third nod and Loki just had enough time to see Odin step back with a pleased expression on his face before the metal plate was slammed over his eyes, his vision going dark. His head was yanked to the side, hands keeping him and the plate in place. He was gasping now; quick panicky gasps for air as he felt movement around him and then the pressure of something sharp against the side of his skull._

_Loki tensed, biting back a wince but as the pressure increased, so did the pain of something hard and sharp digging and twisting its way through his skin and into the bone underneath. For a few seconds the pain was manageable but it quickly became excruciating, his frightened screams echoing through the dungeon cell as he started trashing and squirming, desperate to get away._

_“Now now, remember your promise, Loki. Be a good boy now.”_

_Somehow, Odin's word still filtered through his own anguished cries but he obediently stopped struggling, laying limp on the table, fingers digging into his palms hard enough his nails cut into his skin. The chains rattled with how hard he was shaking and he couldn't stop the screams, tears streaming down his face as blood welled around the puncture wounds._

_Two bolts in the guards turned his head to face the other direction, using as much force as was necessary to screw the bolts into place. They were short enough not to pierce Loki's skull all the way through but once in, they wouldn't come out easily._

_Once they were done they removed the shackles from Loki's limbs and one of them kicked the trickster in the back, shoving him right off the table. Loki landed in a heap on the stone floor and immediately curled up into a ball, his fingers clenching around the metal plate as he cried, horrible, heart wrenching sounds of fear and pain.  
Its sharp edges dug into his skin and the bridge of his nose and his head felt like someone was pounding on it with Mjolnir. He could feel wetness where the bolts had been screwed into his skull, sticking his hair to his skin. Agony._

_“Sight is a privilege that has to be earned, Loki.” Odin said as he made to leave the cell with his men. “And you'll be given plenty of chances to do so.” With that they left and Loki was left alone on the floor, listening to the heavy sounds of locks and bolts sliding back into place, each harsh noise feeling like another blow to the head._

_Where was Thor?!_

~*~

Bruce fumbled with the various bottles of medicine he had on standby, trying to find the right one with shaking hands. Loki's heart rate was off the charts! His body was still drugged and incapable of moving but it was clear that the god was going through some kind of panic attack.

A very serious panic attack.

It was risky forcing him to wake up like this, instead of gently coaxing him out of the anesthetic as they should be doing but he had no other choice! Could Norse gods go into cardiac arrest? He'd rather not find out!

Fumbling with a needle it was a wonder Bruce didn't stab himself as he filled it with a fast working antidote. He had to hurry, Hulk was pushing against his self control like there was no tomorrow.

Jabbing the needle into the IV bag Bruce emptied it and tossed the syringe into a corner before sliding down the wall to the floor. “G-go!” he hissed, shooing a hand at Tony as he buried his face between his knees to focus on his breathing. “Get him out of here! Call Thor and Steve! He'll wake up soon; get him to calm before he rips something!”

Loki was still strapped in but he was already beginning to tremble, small whimpers forcing themselves passed the breathing tube still lodged into his throat... but if the god started struggling again like he did when he arrived here...

“Don't worry about me, love. I'll be fine.” If he ended up Hulking out and smashing the room to bits, he'd rather Tony wasn't with him.

-=-=-=-

Shit... not good, not fucking good... Tony fought the urge to smack his lover upside the head just barely. "… Hulk, Bruce, just hold on. I'll be back, in just a few minutes." Green-tinged eyes peered up at him, and he shot him the best pleading look he could; Bruce probably hated that idea, but that was too bad. He wasn't leaving him to Hulk out and become regretful and depressed again.

"Jarvis, alert Thor and Steve. Tell them to meet me in the waiting area, stat!"

Disengaging the breathing tube and taking a hold of the IV, Tony opened the door before wheeling Loki out, trying his best not to look back at Bruce. This was what he wanted him to do, he was doing the right thing... even his his own reasoning varied quite a bit.

~*~

Steve couldn't stifle the laugh, as much as he tried too. Thor himself bore a huge grin, and he'd re-told the story at least fifty times!

"S-so, after all that, he still cut Lady Sif's hair and made her a braided locket o-out of it?" 

Thor stifled a chortle, the look on Sif's face as his teenaged brother- presenting a gift wrapped in multiple golden bow's and elaborate designs- opened it for her to reveal the length of her hair, entwined with a golden locket- Frigga had been mortified. Oh, even he had been shocked at the time- but now, it was a hilarious memory, his brother retreating to his room to hide from an enraged Odin. Even in Thor's anger with his brother, he still allowed him to spend the night, curled by his side-

_"Sirs, pardon the interruption, but your presence is requested in the waiting room immediately."_

Steve halted mid laugh, chuckles subsiding as he raised an eye to the ceiling. "Loki's already awake?"

_"No sir. Mr. Laufeyson is suffering from a severe panic attack, and Doctor Banner is in great distress, attempting to fight off the Hulk."_

A long pause, to pair of blue eyes meeting in shock and horror, in the elevator before Jarvis finished explaining.

Everything had been going well only a moment ago!

Out of the elevator, the first sight that reached them was Tony tightening straps, quickly checking stitches to make sure there were no tears. "Good boy Loki, good boy." He'd never say it was going to be all right; he wasn't a liar and simply couldn't know that. And at the moment... he wasn't feeling very okay, looking between Thor and Steve.

"He'll awaken shortly, hold him down if you have to, make sure the stitches don't tear, it could cause internal bleeding." He was all ready walking away, Steve going to following Tony until Tony stopped in front of the room. "Stay out here."

"But-"

"If I need you, you'll know. I'm the only one who's ever stopped a transformation before, let me handle this." The seconds were ticking by damn it, he had no time for this!

"He's my team mate too, Tony. He means a lot to me too." 

Tony whipped around, more harshly than he meant to, though his words lacked bite and had a rather... urgent feel rather than a cruel one. "He's _my[_ lover, I'm not letting this happen without a fight." Dark eyes looked into the room, the noises Bruce emitted worrisome, and sent ran a hand through his hair, disheveling it further. "You'll know if I need you, like I said. You can hardly miss the big guy... just let me have a few minutes with him, okay? If he changes, feel free to get involved. Until then... leave us be."

Opening the door and shutting it just as quickly, Tony approached with his usual attitude, sliding next to Bruce but addressing someone else. "Talk to me, big guy. I can't help you out if you don't talk to me."

“Metal man... they destroyed puny god!"

"Yeah, yeah they did." Short and concise, easy to understand sentences, Hulk splintering the floor inches away from him with hands that were between morphing. Shit, he may not be able to talk Hulk out of this one...

"I'm angry too... but I really need Bruce right now, he's much more adept- um, better in the medical field than I. It would be a huge favor if you'd let him take over."

"Hulk mad, Hulk smash!" Another crushing blow, his pulse hammering in his neck, but he stayed put, daring to rest his head on the widening shoulder, attempting to keep the tremble from his voice. 

"There will be a time for Hulk to destroy, to smash, and I will encourage you when the time comes... it's just not now, big guy." Tony breathed, another fearsome growl escaping lips, and he shut his eyes- from this close, if he did transform, he would be accidentally caught in the wreckage, almost guaranteed. Failure was not an option on his part, for both their sakes.

"Please." He shut his eyes, taking deep breaths, hand venturing to meet a larger one- he was doomed if he failed anyway, what was a broken hand when his skull would be crushed on impact? He could only hope Thor was fairing better out there, Tony waiting to find out his fate.

~*~

The whimpering only increased, with every moment that passed. Sighs turned to sobs, whimpers turned to agonizing screams, and Thor could only sit and watch as Loki attempted to thrash in his restraints. What could he do? There was so little to do...

He took a seat by his brother's head, attempting to move hair from his eyes, but every time he touched him he shook even more, the cloth covering his face falling off during his shaking, tightly shut eyes revealed.

"Dim the lights, disembodied voice." They dimmed greatly, only half of what they would be, Thor settling for talking. Maybe he'd recognize his voice...? It hadn't worked in days, but what else was there to do?

"I'm here, brother." He couldn't help but dab a sweaty forehead, winter kissed skin brushed with nothing but kindness. "'Tis nightmares, nothing more. None can harm you now. You are safe, safe with me, Loki." Lips touched skin as he whispered as soothingly as he could into his ear. "I'm here now, your Thor. Big brother will protect you now."

-=-=-=-

The sounds of clothing ripping, Hulk and Bruce fought an inner battle for control. He was halfway through the transformation, muscles bulging and fingers dragging vores through the concrete floor but he didn't seem to be going any further. Yet.

Hulk liked Tony well enough but when truly enraged – and any kind of extreme emotion, stress in this case, ended up as rage – not even Tony would be safe. This whole room would be smashed to bits along with everything in it, and Loki was still on the same floor. It wouldn't be difficult at all for Hulk to smash right through the walls as if it was mere paper and it was unlikely that Loki seeing Hulk would improve his conditions considering what had happened the last time they met.

Again though, Hulk wasn't stupid. Pleading from both ends, Tony on the outside and Bruce from within kept his rage from unleashing fully. If there was anyone Hulk would listen to that wasn't Bruce, it was Tony.

Slowly, bit by bit and second by second, Bruce relaxed, his body slinking back down to a normal sized person and losing its green tint. His shirt hang in tatters around his frame as he pretty much flopped against Tony, completely exhausted. Hulking out always took a lot out of him even when he didn't go completely all the way.

“Thank you...” he muttered breathlessly and reached up with a trembling hand, grasping Tony's and squeezing, brushing his face into the crook of lover's neck. He couldn't linger though... he had to check on Loki. In all their haste, getting Loki to safety before he Hulked, Bruce hadn't gotten time to actually put a large dose of antibiotics in him. That, and no painkillers either...

~*~

“What do we do? What do we do?!” Steve paced back and forth in front of the bed, trying to keep his voice calm. Loki had been bucking and shaking as if possessed by a demon, held down by the straps, himself and Thor. Nothing had torn as far as he could see but his concern had definitely grown when Loki suddenly stopped moving.

He was still alive but the beeping of the heart-rate monitor was uneven and sluggish, and his breathing came with tiny gasps barely loud enough to be heard. Was he dying? Or had he just passed out? He looked unconscious but it could also be shock. Maybe something had torn on the inside where they couldn't see?

God, they needed Bruce here. He feverishly hoped that Tony had gotten him to calm down, they really couldn't use the Hulk right now.

“I heard it's possible for someone to get nightmares under anesthetic...” he muttered as he finally made himself to sit down on a chair, grasping one of Loki's bony hands in his – the god didn't respond. “Maybe that's what happened... I can't imagine his dreams are peaceful...”

He reached out and carefully peeled the last bits of bandage around his head away; he had caught a glimpse of Loki's eyes and was honestly surprised. He hadn't expected them to be red...

He sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. What kind of quality of life was this? Was it fair to keep Loki here? Wouldn't it be... better if they... let him go? Overdose him on anesthetic like Tony had said? He wouldn't notice a thing and his suffering would finally end.

Because this was no way of living.

It wasn't up to them though, he thought as he glanced up at Thor.

-=-=-=-

Nightmares...? Could one have nightmares under anesthetics? No such implements existed on Asgard, if Steve Rogers said it was true...

Stroking hair away, Thor saw a brief glimpse of scarlet eyes before they shut again, his own following suit. Even in a state of rest, Loki could not do so. Peaceful, unconscious now and for a brief moment he looked peaceful, save for the bruises and scars- but for how long would peace last? How long would comfort evade him?

Steve's suggestion interrupted his thoughts, and again he touched his brother's face. To keep him alive, for his own purposes- was that not as cruel as Odin? Selfish in it's entirety wasn't it? There was not one reason, other than his own desire to keep Loki alive that propelled such an argument. Pain was constant, relief futile, fear in every movement... 

Thor slumped back downward, a heavy weight in the cushioned chair. He knew what should be done, no matter how much it hurt him to do so...

~*~

Words failed him as he cradled his lover's head, gingers threading through hair, as he breathlessly heaved. It worked... it worked. He doubted next time he'd be so lucky; Hulk was trying to let loose, not that Tony could blame him. Loki's condition, and everything occurring so fast, it was a wonder he held on this long...

His grip loosened until he let go, wanting to take Bruce upstairs and take a long, restful bath followed by a nap; but no, not today. At least not yet, as his lover stood on shaky legs, trembling as he readied another syringe, a look of realization hitting Tony.

Forgot all about the painkillers, damn...

He held the door open for Bruce, the least he could do as they made their way to the seemingly lifeless Loki. All that pain, he was probably knocked unconscious... it may be better this way, if his rest was dreamless.

"Tony Stark... Bruce Banner?" He wasn't accustomed to the tone in Thor's voice, Tony eying the needle Bruce pushed through the IV, breathing finally starting to slow. "Yeah?"

Thor's eyes couldn't conceal his tears, but he did not let them fall, a strong hand cupping Loki's. "… W-When can I say g-good bye?" Hours of surgery, and now he decided this? They'd be upset for sure, but... "Apologies, I cannot allow him to suffer for my sake." 

Fingers stroked Loki's cheek, and Thor pressed his forehead to his brothers. It took him long enough to see, but this... this wasn't right. He could be selfish no longer. Strong, strong for his brother- he had to stay strong, do what was right.

Tony eyed Thor before looking to Bruce, shutting his eyes. While he was mildly aggravated Thor waited until now- Thor was his brother. If it was his brother, he would be selfish and probably want him alive as well.

"Do you want to speak with him, before he... passes?"

An affirmative nod, and they all shared a silent glance at the once strong god, before Tony nodded. "It may take a little while... we just pumped him full of pain killers. But, when he regains consciousness- you can say good-bye." It may have seemed like an odd question for him to ask, but if he himself could have said good-bye to his mother... he would have felt much better.

He averted his eyes and coughed, clearing his throat immediately after wards. "Not that it's my business, but what... made you...?"

Another round of silence, and Thor looked towards the now resting face of his brother, breath shallow and face calm. "He has no happiness in his life. Not one thing provides him hope... if there existed anything to make him smile, my mind would change. Alas, there is not."

It would be for the best, it would. Even if his heart betrayed his mind and broke in the process.

-=-=-=-

Bruce could only close his eyes and nod slowly. It wasn't his decision and Thor was right... this wasn't fair to Loki. Even if he recovered physically – and the road to that would be long and painful – the chance that he'd make a full psychological recovery as well was slim to none. He didn't know what had happened to Loki in those years but it was more and worse than anyone deserved to go through. It was truly a wonder Loki hadn't died sooner, and seeing as he was in no state to make the choice himself...

“You only want what is best for him, Thor.” he said softly as he recapped the syringe and put it away. “And sometimes the best thing is also the most difficult thing.”

He sighed and looked at Loki's sleeping face again. No hope... no hope for him, unless a miracle happened and Bruce Banner did not believe in miracles.

“We should all get some rest. I, for one, am exhausted. He will not wake up for a while.” When he did Jarvis would all inform them. They could leave Loki in the bed he was in for now, no sense in moving him, and Thor could use the bed Loki had occupied earlier. He doubted the thunder god would sleep but he had to be exhausted too.

After a last check to make sure that Loki was as comfortable as possible they all bid each other good night.  
Once in their bedroom Bruce didn't even bother getting out of his ruined clothes and flopped down on the bed, slowly crawling up the covers. He looked forward to a few hours of sleep with no stress, curled up against the warmth of his lover. He was dreading tomorrow, but for now he just wanted some peace.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings include... **more of the same and then some! Also... *hands out tissues***

Sleepless was the night, Thor tossing and turning against the sheets. Dreams haunted him, in every waking moment, plaguing each memory he had.

_"Brother, let's go!" Ebony and short, green eyes alight with the sparkle of youth, they ran together, through the halls and up the stairs, an announced race. Quicker was he, but clever was Loki, playfully tripping his older brother moments before the finish, legs sweeping out from beneath him as Loki held his hands to the sky._

_"Victorious am I!"_

_"A cheater more like. I'd best you yet." But it was said without malice, Thor tackling his younger brother and escaping to his room, sitting at top him will a grin. Amusement and curiosity wept Loki's features, Thor remembering his face so well- green eyes alight, nose scrunched, the same way he did in adulthood whenever he was curious- the sweet face of his younger brother. It would contort however, as Thor did the unthinkable._

_“Stop! Stooooop! Thorrr!" Laughing, fingers gliding across skinny ribs as he flailed, disappearing from beneath him. Thor met the floor with a thud, a boot coming undone as Loki beamed, fingers attacking his brothers own weakness as he howled in laughter. "No! Loki, evil are you, tickler of the mighty Thor."_

_Rolling around on their sides, two boys giggling as Loki smiled at him, tapping his cheek. Happy times._  
\---  
"What now, brother?" 

_"Now, close your eyes, pretend we are young again." A much colder look, the room around him a dank, cold cell of stone, fingernails etched into the side walls. Himself, he had replaced the hay with a fresher, dry batch, had tended to infected wounds. His cape fit over the thinning from with much room to spare, lips pressed into a tight line as Loki closed his eyes and shook his head. "I can't..."_

_"Allow me. The color of my room still stands the same, after all this time. I hold your blanket in it, the bear one you long for... I shall bring it, next visit, I promise." Hands stroked over wounds accidentally, apologizing as Loki hissed. These punishments were... beginning to get a little out of hand. Perhaps father needed a talk..._  
\---  
Loki would not stop screaming. 

_Blood everywhere, his hands soaked, almost unable to see the chunks that lay out of his back, across the floor- but he had to do this. He'd die, his little brother..._

_"Shhhh, shhhh." Piecing him together, needle and thread tying on the bits of flesh pulled from the carcass that was his Loki. The whip had torn into him, mutilated him. Too much, this was too much! He'd stay the night, and the night after, in a dungeon, holding onto the frailty that once was his brother. Surely, he must see... Odin must see what this would do to his_ own _son?_  
\---  
"He refuses to see you still." 

_Thor's face fell in pure disbelief. "It's been ages, father! Almost two months... gave he reason for refusal?"_

_Odin nodded once, Thor's grip tightening on the remains of the battered bear rug blanket he had found in his brother's cell. Loki... had he really destroyed it? He had always been so fond of it! Why? It belonged to his brother._

_Exasperated, he left to his chambers, flinging the blanket in the trash... only to take it out the next morning and sew it up, doing a most foul job but attempting none the less. He would not give up on his brother, no matter how angry he was for no apparent reason!_  
\---  
"So glad am I you came to your senses." 

_Thor forced a smile like no other, outstretched arms feeling the leash as he tugged. Grey and blue, bruised and swollen, trudging and desperate, mouth sewn together and eyes hidden by metal, barely able to remain on his feet... of what use was he like this?_

_The stains between his legs stated the obvious as he fought not to blanch._

_"A fun toy made, if used properly. Ye be a good boy, brother may offer a treat." Odin said, looking pleased._

_No Loki, don't nod to that, don't let him treat you like a mongrel._

_"A weeks time, I'll be back for him." A bow to Odin as he left, respectful and long until the door shut, blue eyes opening to view the sight of his brother, before shutting them again, pinching his nose as he fought back anguish._

_"Shhh." Wrapping him in his cloak, he knew what must be done... knew that bringing him to Midgard was his only chance._  
\---  
"Forgive me, had I only known... had I only known..." Repeated where the words he spoke, Thor thrashing about and waking every few minutes, giving up on sleep after two broken hours of constant nightmares. He should have seen this, long ago- it had been there before him, Odin's deceit, yet he marked it not.

Moving to rise, he walked steadily towards the room of his brother- his presence was not welcomed. He knew that, it would only make him nervous if he woke. Yet the urge to see him... he looked towards the sleeping face again, leaning against the frame of the hall in silence. It was where Thor spent the remainder of his night, drinking in the sight of the former glory of his brother. Through times wicked, through times grand, his brother remained by his side... until late, but that was of little consequence in a life so long as theirs.

"I'll miss you, Loki." He remained standing, through sunrise, blonde hair streaking with the glorious colors a new day brought- a new start, a new chance. "I miss you all ready."

-=-=-=-

The next morning came far too quickly. Bruce felt far from rested. Gently entangling himself from Tony's arms and legs he got up and dragged his feet towards the bathroom; perhaps a shower would wake him up.

He found Steve in the kitchen thirty minutes later, after having shaken his lover awake. The Captain looked as bad as he felt, hair tousled and dark rings under his eyes as he clutched a steaming mug of coffee. “Morning...”

“Good morning...”

“Sleep well?”

“That obvious, huh?” Bruce poured himself a cup and sat down opposite of Steve, and yawned. For a few minutes neither men talked, silently sipping their coffee and pretending to read the newspaper until Steve just couldn't stay silent about the matter any longer.

“Are we really... you know? Going through with it?”

Bruce looked up and put down his newspaper, taking off his reading glasses. He knew what the other man was talking about. “It's not our decision. It's Thor's.”

“We can't put Loki down like an animal!”

Bruce grimaced at the choice of words. Sometimes he forgot that Steve came from a different time. “I prefer the term 'easing his suffering', Steve. This is no way of living. He might not ever recover from this.”

“Because we haven't given him a chance.”

“We've done everything we could. What would you have me do that we haven't already done and tried?”

The Captain shrugged, brows furrowing as he fumbled and toyed with his empty cup, and finally offered a helpless shrug. “I don't know... it's so unfair. I've never liked Loki but he did not deserve this.”

“Agreed... but he can't make the choice himself. And I'm with Thor on this one. Even if he pulls through after the surgery... you saw what he's like. We can't offer him the professional help he'd need for the rest of his _very long_ life..”

“So we just kill him instead?”

Bruce sighed and began rubbing his glasses clean on his shirt. “Steve...”

“I know, I'm sorry. I'm just... it just makes me so angry.”

“Yeah, me too...”

Silence fell over the room again; a thick heavy silence weighing down on them. After a while Steve stood up to get more coffee but neither of them spoke. What was there to say?

Bruce honestly dreaded going back to the infirmary. He hated seeing Loki like that, so damaged, so broken... but they couldn't leave Thor to deal with that alone. Jarvis would warn them once Loki began showing signs of waking up. That was the moment when they... when he... after Thor had said his good bye... Gritting his teeth Bruce buried his hands in his hair and took a few deep breaths. It wasn't going to be easy.

It was going to be one of the most difficult things in his life so far.

-=-=-=-

No. No he did not want to get up.

It wasn't that he slept; just as restless as Bruce,really, but laying in his nice, warm bed made him forget for a few moments. He felt for Thor, this had to be difficult. Through everything, Thor weaved a portrait of how inseparable the two were, not just during childhood- well into adulthood as well Loki had a tendency of tagging along, and Thor happily welcomed it. Granted Loki was less than a thrill to have around the first time, but his condition was beyond unnecessary. Honestly, he had respect for Thor's decision.

If it had been he, he couldn't of done it. Selfish, maybe... but he couldn't imagine taking away the life of someone he dearly loved. It would be like pulling the plug on Pepper, or Rhodey, or Bruce.

Shuddering, he stepped into the shower briefly, getting ready to brush his teeth, when; 

_"Sir, Mr. Laufeyson is showing signs of consciousness."_

He resumed brushing, quickly leaving for the kitchen the second he finished, meeting Steve and Bruce. Ah, duplicate exhausted expressions. Wonderful.

"I'm sure Thor's awake." He wouldn't doubt it, the idea only confirmed as he entered the infirmary, Thor already leaning against a door way, an ill fitting pair of sweat pants and no shirt on. If the situation wasn't so grave, he would’ve made a three-some offer, but even he had more tact than that.

Thor just stared, all the little signs that Loki was waking began to show; fingers twitching, pace of breathing changing, the opening and closing of his his mouth... he was parched, probably, but was there purpose to give him sustenance in his final moments?

He deemed it so, leaving to fill a small paper cup with water- yet as bare feet passed across cool tile, thoughts evaded his dear brother's current predicament.

_"Gimme that!" Snatched from his hand, the day hot and long, a young Loki took a sip of his drink, Thor frowning. "You have your own!"_

_"But you have grape, that's better!" He pouted still but took Loki's drink, sipping it before frowning. Bleh. Yeah, his was better. "… Only drink half, this one is gross." Loki nodded once, actually doing what he was told before laying next to his brother with a sigh. "When I'm king, I'm always going to get grape."_

_"When I'm king, we'll both get grape." Loki grinned at that, though his eyes narrowed. "I'm going to be king, you'll see- and everyday forever we will drink grape flavored beverages." Thor chuckled, pulling his brother to bed with him, down for the nap Frigga sent them for. "First, sleep. Then we'll be king. Then... grape." Loki just smiled, closing his eyes._

_"Brilliant plan."_

"I know."

"You know what?"

"Hm?" An elegant eyebrow raised, Thor shaking his head for a moment, small cup of water in his hand. "… What I must do now." 

Tony didn't respond, simply nodding and shrugging off the odd behavior. Thor was loosing his brother, it was to be expected...

"As much time as you need... just call. We'll be around." But not too close to interrupt, and he gave a final look to Loki, fingers weaving through Bruce's. "Just keep us posted."

Thor nodded, lips pressed to a thin line as picked a chair, one closest to Loki's face, his eyes still shut. The newly risen sun beckoned it's light, golden hair long and in disarray, he still thought the god looked radiant as ever, the epitome of what was just.

His heart however dreaded every bit of this moment, threatening to tear from the confines of his chest at any given time. Loki... he held the water still, frowning as a shiver traveled through his brother. Cold, that wouldn't do.

Fetching the blanket from his own room, Thor padded back again, lowering the thick fabric over his brother, going so far as to tuck in the sides before sitting down, only his arms remaining somewhat uncovered. Skeletal arms, even for his brothers thin frame...

How did he do this? Where did he begin?

He found himself more silent than anything, watching fingers twitch, but eyes stayed shut, and for some reason he felt compelled to speak at a little gesture Loki made, fingers spasming in a certain way.

"… Do you recall the summer you pricked your fingers in the royal garden? Mother was furious, you were picking at her flowers again, but she held you anyway, pulling the thorns out when you cried..." Lips twitched upward, warm thoughts of his mother filling his aching heart with fond memory. "She loved you, always did and will. Even in angriest moments, she never lost sight of her little Loki." He could remember the sweet smells of summer now, picturing it if he closed his eyes-

_"Close your eyes, Loki. Remember my covers, how you love to run your fingers across the silk." Shivering in the dark cold, cradling a body so broken it was almost unrecognizable._

_He rocked him still, to and fro, lips pressed to a blue ear as he whispered. "The smell of spice, the wind in your hair, the gentle kiss of the sun- they're yours brother, someday again. Yours." Thor's grip tightened around the frail frame, easing his brother to rest in the cell he called home. "I will be by your side when that day arrives."_

Startling himself, he looked back at the placid face before him, knife twisting in his heart. The promises of summer, of freedom- he could roll the taste of bittersweet melancholy on his tongue. Still he watched the soft breathing, swallowing harder as he began another tale."

"Remember the hunting trip, the blizzard we remained trapped in?" Thor did, a trip spent in adulthood on a nameless planet far away. "Three extra days to climb out of the snow fallen cavern- I told you, you couldn't walk across that lake and fetch that bear. We were too winded, you stood no chance at all- but you did. Proved me entirely wrong." The cold winter, harsh with her intent, but Loki had been more then determined, challenging what was an enormous bear by Asgardian standards, marking pathways across the ice and causing him to slip in the wake.

A fine hunter, skilled where strength was lacking, and Thor could only commend him, then and now. "You showed such prowess in times least expected, most fitting of a god, a leader... a king."

And yet... the title evaded him, for all his wit and cunning. Silence overtook him as he thought back- Odin halting his training, refusing to let Loki partake, Loki taking up sorcery when father forbade it- always at ends they were, with mother or himself always there to minimize the trouble.

Such attempts failed when they mattered most, Thor staring at covered lacerations on his arms, or the little bolt marks beneath his skin. No sign of joy, no sign of pleasure- only sorrow, and regret. This is why he would do this... his brother deserved more than a life of this.

Closer did he lean, within touchable range, eyes peering at blue eyelids, unable to fight the prickling burn. So many memories- of late foul, but fond overall and abundantly- trips, vacations, and time well spent with someone more than deserving. His equal, his little brother.

His Loki. No one could take that away, not Odin, not this bed, not the setting suns that would follow this horrible day.

"Ingrained you are, in my heart, dearest brother." Touching his chest softly, he whispered, only loud enough for Loki to hear as wetness gathered around his cheeks.

"A memory, eternalized, will you remain, in my heart and mind for always." A cracking voice, words broken as he pressed his forehead to Loki's, touching lips to skin lovingly. "No one, in any realm, has ever loved someone, the way I love you."

A moments passing, and Bruce was called over, Thor too gone to note how quickly he came, or a second delayed pair of footsteps that followed. Had he looked up, he would view a back turned to hide red rimmed eyes. Something hit to close to home... even for a man of Iron.

He nodded, it was all he could do, face less than a foot from his brothers as Bruce readied the needle and approached the IV. Stroking his face, Thor resisted the urge to climb next to him just barely, eyes never leaving his face.

-=-=-=-

Bruce, Tony and Steve kept a respectable distance, giving Thor the privacy he probably wanted to speak his final words to his brother.

He wished that there was something he could do or say to make the large god feel better, but he didn't think there was any. He couldn't imagine how difficult this had to be, after trying so hard to save his brother's life only to fail in the end because he had been too late.

Clenching his fists Bruce swallowed thickly and glanced sideways: Steve stood stiff, hands clasped behind his back, the muscles in his jaws bulging with how hard he was grinding his teeth together. And Tony... he seemed to be struggling too. Try as he might, Bruce couldn't block out the things Thor was whispering and he knew neither could they, little snippets of their shared life and he couldn't help but feel like he was intruding on something _very_ personal.

Listening to it made what he was about to do even harder.

Slipping his hand into his pocket he felt the small bottle of potent anesthetic and the capped syringe, silently wishing he didn't have to use this. No choice though... Even now, asleep, Loki looked tense, face set in a fearful frown.

It was better this way. That's what he kept telling himself. It would be better for Loki.

At least Loki's breathing and heart rate were even, though on the slow side. Everyone had agreed that it was best to keep him on some sort of sedation and potent painkillers to prevent any more panic attacks and to keep him comfortable until it was time to... to... but it also meant he probably wouldn't wake up again.

He noticed the small twitches the trickster made, telling him that at least some of Thor's words seemed to be getting through to him, though he didn't think that Loki could even understand them. At least he could hear his brother's voice one last time... Bruce hoped it brought the small god some comfort at least in his last minutes...

He took a deep breath as Thor finally nodded at him, hovering close to his brother, and Bruce nodded back. Stepping forward he made his way to the bed, feeling like the distance between him and the IV was far too long, yet it was only a few feet and he reached it far too quickly for his comfort.

His own eyes were burning by now and his throat felt heavy, like something thick was lodged into it, unable to swallow it down. With trembling fingers he removed the syringe and the bottle from his pocket and slowly filled the needle to its maximum capacity. He'd inject it slowly, let Loki slip away calmly so he wouldn't notice a thing or feel any discomfort, and then he would up the dose, repeat it as long as was needed for the god's heart to stop beating. He'd empty the entire bottle if he had to.

Tony had turned around by now and as much as he wished he could rush to his side and comfort his lover, he couldn't. He had to do this but he was pleased to see that Steve stepped up and placed a hand on Tony's shoulder, squeezing and rubbing, his other hand on Thor's shoulder doing the same.  
He took another deep breath and carefully pushed the needle in place, ready to inject it straight into the drip. Before he did he looked at Thor, waiting for his go-ahead, glancing at Loki's face and caught how his eye-lids fluttered.

… wait what?

Blinking he looked again, waiting... and there it was. Another flutter, barely visible, but it was there. Thor seemed to not have noticed yet, which wasn't surprising seeing as how tears were streaming down his face obscuring his vision.

Letting go of the needle Bruce leaned forward, closely peeking at Loki's face as Steve frowned. “Bruce?”

“Wait.” Seconds ticked by and his eyes widened as Loki's head tilted just barely, and gasped. Was he waking up? “Did you see that?”

“Yes I did! Tony, Thor, look!”

Kneeling down Bruce gently took hold of the god's shoulder, ignoring the expected flinch and shook him lightly. “Loki? Are you awake?”

Another twitch. He could see the trickster struggle with the sedation he had given him before, his movements slow and sluggish, and then he did what no one expected him to do; he opened his eyes.

Only halfway, but they were definitely open and he was definitely staring straight up at Thor's face! Bruce wasted no time and yanked the syringe out, putting it away safely lest someone accidentally inject it somehow and ruin this moment, carefully monitoring the many emotions that suddenly displayed over Loki's face. Most of it was blatant fear and confusion... not that Bruce could blame him. He had been without eyesight for so long, the light in the room had to be uncomfortable.

Jarvis immediately dimmed the lights and Loki relaxed slightly, but his breathing was still picking up fast, eyes still fixated on Thor's face. Bruce wasn't sure what to make of it. He found Loki's eyes – which he hadn't expected to be _red_ \- difficult to read, so full of old pain and fear as they were... but he couldn't ignore the small glimmer of hope he saw in those red orbs, beginning to brim with tears.

“I don't believe it...” Steve whispered, eyes glued to what was happening in front of him.

Was Loki recognizing Thor? Bruce wouldn't allow himself to get his hopes up... perhaps he was just having a moment of clarity; it could be over in seconds and it didn't change anything about the fact that he was still in a horrible condition and probably wouldn't make it to the end of the week if he didn't inject that syringe today... but he couldn't do it now.

Everyone seemed to hold his breath as a small, barely audible whimper left Loki's mouth and Bruce watched with amazement how his hand moved in Thor's direction. He was too weak to even lift it, but it was clear what he was trying to do... to reach out to his brother.

-=-=-=-

He wasn't supposed to react this way. He was Iron Man, damn it- so much for _that._ Steve's comfort did little but he appreciated it, looking straight ahead, focusing on the glare of the window.

"Bruce?"

No, he still didn't want to see. He'd comfort Bruce later... "Tony, Thor, look!"

… Ugh. Dark, red rimmed eyes met fluttering lids and scarlet eyes as Loki-

… no fucking way!

From Thor to Loki, back and forth, eyes darted rapidly and Loki's fingers flinched, eyes bypassing all to look at Thor who seemed completely dazed.

Vision blurred, sight obstructed by unfamiliar stinging, Thor wiped his eyes, meeting ruby with a bewilderment. He... was he really trying to touch him? After so long, after the months that passed between- horrors inflicted and wounds that scarred, did he really want his company? After all his failures, was their still hope?

"Loki..." Golden strands touches down, lacing across blue skin as he pressed his forehead to his brothers, calloused hand laying atop the chilled, long fingers. And they twitched, under his touch. Not a flinch this time... but a twitch, a genuine will to touch him. After all that was done, his brother wanted him around.

At a loss for words, a shaky hand clung to the one beneath him, watching Loki fight for consciousness. Such a warrior, even at his weakest, to fight on still. His mouth grew dry, eyes narrowing. He could not let such fight escape, even if he regretted Thor's decision later.

"By your side then, brother. From now, until you heal, and beyond; no matter the passing centuries nor altered circumstance, by your side I will remain." Every word he spoke he held true, blue eyes flitting to meet Bruce's with the tiniest of grins. The needle was capped, still partially full, the bottle barely missing an ounce.

It went without saying, but he spoke regardless. "I can't strike him from his, not with the fire he still possesses. If ever there was one capable healing under the harshest circumstance, 'tis Loki." Steve nodded, an audible sigh of relief as he clapped Thor's shoulder, Tony wiping his eyes again. 

"You fuckers, with your Shakespeare in the park bullshit, making me cry."

Even Thor smiled at the jest, eyes back on Loki. " 'Twasn't intentional, Tony Stark. I was under the impression you were emotionless." Or at least that's what Tony Stark claimed; though a very clear nose blow- amongst other numerous things- made Thor reconsider that.

For once, Tony didn't bother to respond, watching the two for a moment feeling a little more than awkward. "… meet us upstairs in a little bit. We need to … re-figure out where to go from here." Because there was no way in hell they'd inject Loki now, and even if his chances of survival were slim... he made it this far. With his own technology, who knows? He could make a physical recovery.

His mentality well... that was for another discussion. One thing at a time. First, he'd give Thor a few minutes with his brother. Then, he'd try to find his his testicles, which evidently ran away somewhere between his tooth brushing and Thor's speech.

-=-=-=-

Relieved didn't even begin to explain how Bruce felt, but he was grateful nonetheless to put the syringe and the bottle away, unused.

Loki was clearly a survivor... he wouldn't have made it this far if he wasn't... even so he was surprised to see the god still clinging to life, somehow. He didn't dare to hope much yet but perhaps the trickster wasn't yet fully lost to them.

They left the room quietly but once the door closed behind them Steve's hand shot up into his hair as he loudly proclaimed: “Oh my god, I did _not_ expect that!”

Bruce could only nod, agreeing. If Loki had waited even a minute, he would have been gone by now. That really had been way too close for comfort. Part of him still thought that it would have been better if he had gone ahead with injecting Loki, his chances for survival were still slim but the relief on Thor's face and the hope in Loki's eyes were worth it.

“Steve, could you brew a fresh pot of coffee? I think we're gonna need it all and I have to put this safely away.” He held up the bottle and the syringe and Steve nodded, almost prancing towards the elevator in relief that they hadn't had to kill the god.

Once he was gone he turned to Tony and simply couldn't stop the grin that nearly threatened to split his face in two as he saw that his lover's eyes were still red from the crying. “Tony Stark is without emotions, eh?” he teased and as he walked past him to put his supplies away, his hand came down to smack Tony's ass hard as he called out: “I'm sure Natasha has some left-over tampons or pads in her room if you need them!”

~*~

Thor...

Thor!

Was this a dream? Was it a nightmare? Was father teasing him by showing him the one thing he craved for, dangling it in front of him like a carrot, only to make it disappear again when he tried to touch him to see if he was real?

His brother... was he really here?

If it was an apparition it was a very convincing one; his brother was grinning down at him, relief shining on his tear-streaked face and his touch... he could feel it, Thor's warm hands holding his own between his palms, squeezing gently.

Had it been Thor to take him out of his cell? Had it been his brother to sit by his bed all those days, frightening him because he hadn't recognized him before?

_Where have you been?_ he wanted to ask. _Why did you stop visiting me? Why did you leave me alone with HIM?_ No words left his mouth though, instead they were loud sobs and hiccups as the first tears fell, Loki desperately trying to move closer to his brother's warm body, needing more proof that he was truly here with him, but his body refused to listen to his demands.

Please let this be real. He didn't deserve it, he knew that; a monster did not deserve any kindness and father had told him that that was the reason why Thor had stopped his visits. Loki hadn't wanted to believe Odin at first but as the days passed without any sign of Thor... and as always, the Allfather always right...

If this was an apparition... if this truly was a trick, another part in the cruel game Odin played with him, then that would be it. It would be the last straw. Loki had kept up the fight so far but if this was taken from him as well, then he would have no more reason to keep going.

He would give it all up.

-=-=-=-

A sigh of relief, Tony ran a hand through his hair, leaning against the door as Steve almost fluttered away, relieved no one made a com-

...Oh really, Bruce? Really?

The swat on the ass actually hurt, though it was a pleasant sting, Tony letting out a chuckle. If it had been anyone else, he would have been pissed. Instead, he approached his lover with a shrug, the last of the tears gone as he dabbed his eyes using the front of his shirt, looking up at him before blowing his nose as hard as he could, making sure every bit of mucus in his nasal cavity was on his lover's shirt before dropping it with a blink.

"Look who's calling who the bitch now, bitch." He was in for it, but fuck if he cared. He needed this moment, this bond they shared to break the craziness of the past few days. Still, he waited for retaliation, arms crossing over his chest as he fought to keep his laughter down. This would be fun.

~*~

Twitching beneath his very fingers, emotions flooded scarlet eyes in a flurry. "Brother?" His voice soft, free hand stroking Loki's cheek, he shut his eyes briefly, only reopening as fingertips moistened, pained noises escaping the frail throat.

"Loki, shhhh, shhhh..." He was far too injured to climb into bed with him... but there was something he could do.

Grabbing two chairs, one placed next to the head of the bed and the other at the foot, Thor lay down, body heaven after days without sleep. Longing to entwine the entirety of his body with his brother's, he settled for draping an arm across his bandaged chest, the free hand uncomfortable clutching Loki's, but his own comfort mattered little as he traced knuckles with his thumb, murmuring sweetly, his brothers head tilting to meet his own, just inches apart.

"I'm here, I'm here and will not leave your side again, brother. You solely hold my attention now, my affections- forever yours and shall remain as such." Gentle was his voice, arm moving only to wipe away tears, draping over the thin chest beneath him once more. "You're safe now...no harm will come to you, from this moment onward." A solemn promise, Thor craning his neck to press a kiss against Loki's forehead, fingers stroking over his arm. "Sleep brother, and sleep well." At Loki's tension, Thor pressed onward, cooing once more. "By your side I will remain, brother." He knew he was fighting sedation, but he wouldn't subject Loki to another panic attack- or at least he'd try not to.

-=-=-=-

Loki's eyes stayed fixated on Thor's face even as the thunderer moved around, getting the two chairs to place them next to the bed. There were so many things he wanted to say but couldn't, so many things he wanted to do but didn't have the energy for. Even now he was already slowly slipping away again, succumbing under the effects of the sedation Bruce had given him earlier.

Loki did not feel safe, he would never feel safe here... but he was glad that Thor was here with him, real and solid. Glad, relieved, happy. So happy. After thinking that Thor hated him for so long, getting no visits... to see him here, in this strange room he didn't recognize... Having his older brother near him was the only thing he cared about.

He whimpered softly, keeping his grip on Thor's hand, his brother's soft voice pulling him back into darkness as eyes drooped, losing himself to the drugs again.

~*~

Bruce and Tony entered the kitchen moments later, Bruce having changed into another, clean shirt after having smacked Tony upside the head, playfully but hard.  
Steve had already placed several cups of coffee on the table and looked up as they entered. “Is Thor still upstairs?”

“Yes... I don't want to rush him.”

Hm, fair enough. Sitting down Steve drummed his fingers on the table and frowned. “So... what do we do?”

Ah yes, the all important question. Assuming that Loki lived, they were faced with a lot of future problems, namely Natasha and Clint. Fury too.   
They were still in Africa and though he had no idea how Natasha would react to this, he knew that Clint would not like this one bit. It was no secret that Hawkeye absolutely hated Loki for everything he had done. He still had nightmares at times, and he still felt guilty for the lives he had taken while under Loki's control even though they kept telling him it wasn't his fault.

No, they'd have to keep a close eye on Clint. He probably wouldn't try to kill Loki in his weakened state but they also couldn't expect him to be a 100% considerate.

“Well... if Loki is awake enough tomorrow, I want to try and see if we can get some answers out of him. Simple questions. He may start to remember us as well and I don't want him to think that we're going to hurt him, just because we fought in the past. He needs to understand that we're on his side. And we have to figure out how we're going to break the news to Clint and Natasha, and keep this from Fury as long as possible.”  
Bruce looked around the kitchen. “Agreed?”

-=-=-=-

"I think we can all agree to that." No doubt, Loki would probably take a while to warm up to them... if he made it through the week. Even if he did make it, there was no guarantee he'd make a full recovery, or would even talk again... the whole situation was such a mess.

A few minutes later, the elevator dinged, revealing a slightly more upbeat Thor, much to everyone's relief. Frowns, sighs, and an abundance of tears did not suit the god, his face lighting up further at the aroma of-

"Coffee." It was mute jubilation but it was still something, some things likely to never change as a giant cup was passed his way, Thor taking a seat between Tony and Steve, almost directly across from Bruce.

"All right, here's the idea.” Tony began. “Since Loki will be staying with us for some time-" he'd phrase it that way, simply because it was a possibility, even if not a likelihood, "it would be best to keep him from Clint and Natasha’s floor." Thor nodded, the reason entirely to obvious.

"Situating nearest to our room would be preferable with Bruce's medical experience and my general ability to be incredible at everything. There is a second bedroom way across the hall, as long as you don't mind sharing a floor with us..." He assumed Thor was staying; he couldn't imagine the god leaving anytime soon and shrugged.

Thor had to shake his head, a little surprised at how... smoothly transition had been. He'd been expecting more hostility towards Loki, but it seemed his condition truly did alter perception. With a sigh of relief Thor nodded, accepting the terms. Yes, he'd stay with Loki. There's no where he'd rather be. "I'll never be able to show the gratitude felt at this gesture." 

Tony shrugged, grabbing the hand that lay in his lover's lap and squeezing. "I'm amazing, I do realize this."

"And so humble." 

He shot Steve a smile, mug pressed to his lips and he took a quick sip of coffee before frowning, tilting his head again. "… Now that we've got this settled for the moment... you told us Odin kept Loki from you? How did you get him to agree to let him out?"

Movement stilled, Thor's thumb tracing the rim of his cup as he nipped his lip. "I... attempted visitation in a moment I thought opportune." Shutting his eyes, the words of his father, the whimpers, the smell- he was back in Asgard, bloody stone and filth tickling the senses before they snapped open and fluttered.

"'Twasn't as appeared."

Tony nodded, but pressed on, despite the look Bruce was giving him. "… You didn't answer my question. I didn't ask how you found him, I asked how'd you get him out with your father keeping him on such a tight leash?"

Thor winced, the sight of bloodied twine in a makeshift collar, the spiked edges that cut the flesh he glimpsed-

"I took him." Blue eyes met dark ones, each man feeling the tension rise for a moment before Tony stated blankly, head resting on his hand.

"… He doesn't know, does he?" Dark eyes, analyzing everything, and Thor had not the strength to put up a front.

"… He'll realize in four days time."

-=-=-=-

Silence.

Three pairs of wide eyes stared at Thor, processing what he had just told them.

“What, so... the ruler of the most powerful of realms will find out that his son is missing in four days time against his will?” Steve asked, eyes widening even more at the nod he received.

Well fuck! 

“It doesn't change anything.” Bruce said quickly before Thor could misinterpret Steve's words. “I'm not kicking Loki out just because his father may not appreciate that he's here.”

Steve quickly raised his hands and shook his head. “No no no I didn't mean it like that. Of course Loki stays here. It just... it does complicate things. A war with Asgard is the last thing we need! We really need to think this over and come up with good solutions.”

Yes... that they did...

They all spent the rest of the day trying to figure things out, how to keep Loki safe, how to help him recover, how to break the news to their team mates, how to keep his presence hidden from the outside world and what to do in case Odin came knocking.

After two hours they still hadn't gotten very far and called it quits for today. Thor returned to Loki's room – they could move him later – Steve left as well, going out to get some fresh air and Bruce and Tony returned to their own bedroom to finally, _finally_ get some much needed private time together. Lord knows they needed it after days filled with stress...

~*~

The next day found them all in Loki's room, better rested than they felt in days. Loki was awake, propped up with so many pillows he was nearly drowning in them but it allowed him to sit upright without any discomfort. Thor sat next to him, as close as he possible could, one arm around thin shoulders as he held Loki's hands.

The others all sat at the foot of the bed to give the trickster some space as they could clearly see that he was nervous with their presence, trembling under the thick mass of blankets, bandaged fingers fiddling with the edges until they frayed.

He looked like he wanted to run if he could.

“Loki, I'm going to ask you some questions, alright?” Bruce began, ignoring the flinch. He was careful to keep his tone soft. “Simple yes or no questions and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, okay?”

He waited for a small sign that Loki had heard him, coming in the form of a tiny nod, and took a deep breath.

“Alright. Do you remember who Steve is?”

A nod.

“And Tony? Do you remember Tony?”

Another nod.

“Do you remember who I am?”

Hesitation, then a nod, tense this time, brows furrowing. It was clear Loki hadn't forgotten the Hulk yet.

“Do you know where you are right now?”

More frowning and this time Loki shook his head, pressing himself further into the pillows and closer to Thor. The way his breathing sped up was unmistakable; giving a negative answer seemed to worry him greatly.

“It's okay, Loki. It's okay. You're in Stark Tower. Do you remember Stark Tower? It's where you threw Tony out of the window.”

Hm... that did not get the response Bruce had hoped for; Loki barely reacted to that but perhaps that was because he simply did not remember tossing Tony out of his own home. And he didn't want to stress the trickster out too much yet.

“We're on your side, Loki.” Steve piped in. “We're not here to hurt you, we want to help. We all do.”

They waited patiently and after a few minutes Loki relaxed, but just barely and Bruce swallowed a sigh. How much of what they were saying was even getting through to the god, he wondered? “Can you say something for us? Give us some sign that you can still talk?” He hadn't been able to for a while and Bruce wanted to make sure there wasn't any damage they had missed, and he wasn't happy to see Loki shake his head again.

“Does it hurt somewhere? Your throat maybe? Is that why you can't talk?”

Another shake and Bruce was getting frustrated, though he was careful not to let it show. Not frustrated with Loki, as he clearly couldn't help it, but with the whole situation. The more they worked with the trickster, they more problems they found out he seemed to have. Problems none of them knew how to fix.

Getting an idea Bruce stood up and walked over to a closet, pulling something out. Walking back over to the bed he caught Loki staring at him warily. Bruce handed him the small whiteboard slowly, making no sudden movements as he placed it in his lap and stood back again, moving to his chair.

“You can write on it.” he explained as he sat down. “And you can erase everything you write when you run out of space.” Folding his hands together he rested his elbows on his knees. He really hoped that this would work. “You don't have to talk if you don't want to. We're not going to force you to do anything but if you want to tell us something, anything, you can write it down and show us.”

Loki stared down at the whiteboard, touching it carefully, and to everyone's surprise he picked up the marker. It seemed that everyone was holding their breath as he put the tip on the smooth white surface of the board and dragged it across with shaking fingers. Loki's handwriting used to be neat and curly; now, while still readable, the lines were shaky and uneven.

But as Loki finished and turned the board around, averting his eyes from everyone as he did so, Bruce could only feel disturbed and confused by what he had written.

_'I want to go back.'_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings include **mentions of sexual abuse and manipulation.**
> 
> These four chapter are all that I have for now, but we hope to start writing the next chapter soon. Thanks for reading!

A jest. A cruel, horrible jest, one Loki alone would play against his big brother.

There was no mistaking the writing or even the faces of his friends, Banner's mouth open but wordless, Roger's wide eyed and incredulous, and Tony Stark blank, his voice remaining even as he whispered.

"You're... fucking shitting us, yes?"

Ah, so they drew the same conclusion; an unfunny attempt at humor it was. Far be it from he to ostracize one so wounded, Thor instead rubbed his brother's arm, a forced laugh making it's way from his tight throat, scarlet eyes meeting his after an initial twitch.

The laughter died as abruptly as it started, Loki's trembling hands still clutching the board. There was... he simply could not be...

The sound of sneakers hitting the tile, Tony's back to everyone. His expression read the anger he so clearly felt but suppressed, disappearing and reappearing with an uncorked bottle of scotch, taking a heavy dredge. "Why?" 

Thor had to congratulate his neutrality, even as his fists shook his voice stayed even. "Brother, he means to say you are safe now." Calm and gentle, long hair fell in loose golden waves, the sun emitting a glow about the fair god. "Never will I let harm befall you further... you are safe, we will protect you." He was simply afraid of recapture... that was all. That must be it.

But as bony hands grabbed the board again, fear gripped his heart as he spared a look at his friends.

Masked neutrality, all of them were attempting it, Tony literally gulping alcohol in thick swallows- a trait Thor recognized as a nervous or uncomfortable habit. Loki hadn't meant what he wrote, he wrote from fear, and now that Thor had quelled it, surely the message would change.

… Surely...

-=-=-=-

"You're... fucking shitting us, yes?"

Making an odd, high pitched sound in the back of his throat Loki tightened his grip on the whiteboard, shaking. They didn't understand. They couldn't understand and he didn't know how to explain.

Thor was talking to him but he didn't know! He wasn't safe here, he'd never be safe here! Loki shook his head wildly, black hair flying and grabbed the marker again, writing another sentence under the first one.

_not safe here have to go back_

Not safe here? Bruce reached up and entangled his fingers in his hair, struggling to understand what Loki was talking about. “Are you... talking about the dungeon? You want to go back to the dungeon?” he asked and met red eyes as they flicked up at him before the god nodded.

“But why?” Steve asked, sounding as confused as he felt. “They did horrible things to you and you want to go back to that?”

“Steve, don't...”

Loki's breathing was quickening again, tears brimming in his eyes and again he nodded. They didn't know what he did. The threats he had been told... he had failed the Chitauri, had failed the Other. He would never forget what the Other had told him should he fail.

'You'll wish for something as sweet as pain.'

They hadn't been able to reach him so deep in Asgard's dungeon, but here, on Midgard, he was like a sitting duck waiting to be shot! They would come for him and they would do things to him that would make the last two years seem like a walk in the park!

He had to go back! He had no choice...

Swallowing thickly Bruce looked at Tony as Loki's tears fell, dripping on the whiteboard as he the god hunched over. He felt so helpless... he didn't understand Loki's reasoning. It made no sense!

-=-=-=-

Unbelievable... just unbefuckinglievable.

After their best efforts, after the tears, the hours of surgery and planning... he wanted to go back? It was one thing if he wrote 'don't have will to live,' while Tony may have disagreed... he'd understand the choice. But... this?! Returning to... he was mad. He had gone insane.

But insane people didn't write coherently, damn it. He remembered and understood them and... this was ridiculous!

He didn't have the patience Bruce had, he didn't have this tolerance for what amounted to bullshit, and instead grabbed his bottle and turned his back. "… I gotta go." It was either this or start picking a fight, and it wasn't fair to anyone. He'd cool off upstairs, he needed space.

Thor barely registered his absence, eyes flitting to the board then to his brother, pitter patter of tears audible in low wet plops.

"I would you no longer cry, brother." The pad of his thumb swiped at tears, silently drifting through every thought he had. Wasn't safe here... Odin would not reach him, didn't he understand that? Why... why did he feel this way? Why would he want-

Bloodied hands, stitching blue flesh. "Halt your tears brother, I beg of you." Whimpering, back torn to shreds, he did what he could, what little was possible with limited medical skill. "Tonight with you I shall stay... no more to fear." Wetness where Loki's head lay at the nape of his neck, frail body pressed tightly to his own, Thor removing armor and sharing the warmth that was his flesh. Nothing worse than this was to happen, he'd swear to it-

"Loki?" A thick swallow, and he wiped the remainder of Loki's tears away. "… I said I would do all for you, Loki. It's my duty to protect you from all you fear, yes?" For a brief moment their eyes met, heart slamming at the hopeful gleam in his brothers eyes.

"… aiding your recovery means recognizing your best interests." He cupped the gaunt cheek before him, ignoring the slight twitch before he shut his eyes, no longer able to hold such as intense gaze.

"It is for this reason I refuse to send you back to Asgard, I can protect you from father, Loki, You've no need to... subject self to torturous ways!" As eyes reopened, he dropped his hand from his shallow cheek, his brother turned away. "… Your best interests are at heart, brother. Faith, I'll take good care of ye."

-=-=-=-

Loki did what none of them had expected; the trickster threw the whiteboard away and turned his back on Thor, pressing his face into the pillows and letting them soak up his tears, arms wrapped around his head as he rocked back and forth.

Bruce sighed softly and stood up. This hadn't gone how he had hoped and expected; instead of getting answers they had gotten more questions and worries. And Loki seemed more than upset right now, probably because they didn't understand what he meant and he didn't seem willing or capable of explaining.

“I think we should give him a moment alone.” he muttered to Steve, who nodded and moved to Thor's side, coaxing him into getting up and coming with them. Bruce had wanted to change Loki's bandages too but that would have to wait a bit longer, at least until Loki had calmed down again.

That, and he wanted to talk to Tony. His lover didn't run away from problems often so it was a cause of worry. Most likely he'd find him drinking again...

Thor probably wouldn't want to leave his brother's side but he trusted Steve to get it done as he left and quickly took the elevator up to the kitchen. “Tony?”

-=-=-=-

Why? Why was it every time he attempted to aid him, he only increased his fears, his grief?

The fractured heart that once beat whole and strong chipped further, and he fought the urge to reach out. 

"C'mon Thor, let's give Loki some space." Roger's hand on his shoulder, Thor stayed for just a moment, watching in silence as Loki trembled.

"I do this, for I love you, and can't bare to see harm befall you. You understand that, don't you?" He may not agree, but understanding is all he asked. Silence, his brother refusing to answer, and for a moment Steve looked between the two. Sympathy was all he could offer them, their already tattered relationship not particularly helpful.

"Thor." He nudged him carefully, Thor's eyes still stuck on Loki... before sluggish movement returned to him. He stepped away from his chair, Steve's arm wrapping around his shoulder. "C'mon, let's give him space. Jarvis will call if he needs anything." He'd keep him preoccupied on his floor, not wanting to interrupt Bruce or Tony either. This entire situation was all ready taking it's toll.

~*~

Another shot it was, glass poured to the top as he let his lips trace the rim, taking a loud sip before finishing off the small glass, and refilled yet again.

Peaceful, that's how Tony felt. Peaceful and alone, to his many deep and angry thoughts, though the haze they came in now was most welcome.

What the fuck? Honestly, how the fuck could he not be safe? He was surrounded by the very people who took down an entire army on their own, did Loki really think they couldn't hold their own now? Even if they couldn't, he would request cyanide before returning for more torture. No, it didn't make any sense... none of it made sense.

"Tony?"

Anyone else and he wouldn't respond.

Fingers lifted, gesturing."Yeah honey? " Slurred were his words all ready, well over half a bottle of scotch down, something Tony hadn't done in quite a while. He felt Bruce watching him, no doubt taking note of the bottle... but he said nothing, sitting next to him.

Silence, he wasn't sure if it was because of Loki upsetting him or if he knew he didn't want to talk. If it was the latter... he knew him better than he thought. If it was the former... well, he couldn't blame him.

A few minutes passed, Tony toying with the bottle but neglecting to drink further, eyes drifting over to Bruce absently.

"… yellow suits you." Dress shirt opened three button down, Tony traced the dip of his collar bone, before trailing up his neck, up the expanse of his jaw, over the frame of glasses and into soft hair, finding comfort in the familiar touch.

Out of nowhere, he pressed their heads together, shoulders tensing. "Why the fuck would he want to go back, Bruce? I tried to get it, I keep trying- he could have requested suicide, to kill Odin, for us to fuck off and die and I would have understood that."

The frown only expanded, Tony moving to sit entirely in his lover's lap, chin resting on the junction of shoulder and neck. "I don't... I can't justify this. I can find a reason for everything, damn it, but not this. He has to be hiding something... but what the hell would make anyone rather subject themselves to torture?" He played with the nape of his lover's neck, arms tightening their hold around him. "You're a genius too... I mean, what the fuck?"

-=-=-=-

Bruce wrapped his arms round his lover and shook his head. “I don't know. I don't have any answers.” He couldn't think of any reason why Loki would want to go back to Asgard, to be locked up again and subject himself to horrors he couldn't even begin to imagine. He liked to think that there was a reason for it... that, or Loki was already so far gone mentally that he didn't truly knew what he wanted and that nothing that he said could be taken seriously.

“I think it's best if we just give him time, as much as he needs.” he offered, tightening his grip around Tony as he buried his face into the man's hair. “I don't think that there's anything else we can do.” He really didn't.

~*~

Loki remained where he was, curled up on the bed, arms wrapped around his head. Big Brother was gone, and so was the Captain, the Doctor and the Scientist. He knew who they were; though they were vague memories he remembered how they fought, against them and the Archer and the Spy.

He remembered the one in the long black, leather coat. The one with the eye patch. Loki didn't like the man with the eye patch. Odin had one. Men with eye patches were bad.

The Captain... he liked the Captain though. Same eyes, same as Big Brother. Kind eyes. Blue eyes. Blond hair, though short. Should grow it out. It was better.

The Doctor... Loki was scared of him. Wherever the Doctor went, so did the Green Beast. He hated the Green Beast, and the Green Beast hated him. Hurt him. Hurt him so bad. The Doctor hurt him too when he changed the wrappings around his body and cleaned his wounds. Big Brother kept telling him that it was alright, kept cooing in his ear and that was the only reason Loki tried not to struggle against the Doctor, because he didn't want to disappoint Big Brother. Something told him that he had already disappointed him so much before, though he didn't remember how and why. Father had said he had, so it must be true.

And the Scientist... or Man or Iron; though he didn't really look like he was made of iron, that was what Loki remember his name to be. Or something like that anyway. The one with the strange bright light in his chest. He wasn't sure what to think of him... he always came in with the Doctor and helped him change his bandages, but he didn't hurt him as much as the Doctor did. Loki had angered him though, that much he could tell.

But why? They had asked a question, to tell them what he wanted and he had written down his honest answer. And the Scientist had gotten mad and stormed out of the room. And Loki knew it was his fault. 

He'd have to apologize and make up for it as soon as he could.

-=-=-=-

He didn't want to move. Far to comfortable, listening to his lover's heartbeat. Sleep sounded delightful, relaxation finally taking hold of him a few hours after the bizarre incident with Loki.

Frowning, fingers traced Bruce's collar bone, dark eyes sparing a look upward as breathing evened out.

It wasn't that he had an issue changing the colostomy bag, it was that he didn't wish to- didn't want to deal with the lingering complication that was causing his brain to produce a 404 computation error. At any rate, the waste collected wouldn't be sufficient; they hadn't set up a drip yet, not expecting Loki to be alive. Although, they'd need to do that soon- something he needed Bruce for.

The deep breathing, however, signified something different. Gently, hands lifted glasses from a handsome face, setting them aside as he lowered the volume of TV, slipping out of bed with one last look at Bruce.

… voluntarily fulfilling a duty he could get out of, simply because he didn't want to wake the other man up? He was getting soft.

He wasn't all that surprised to exit his own room and find Thor sprawled on the couch. They would be sharing a floor soon after all... and Loki needed to be left alone. "What time is it?"

Thor didn't even flinch. "Half past five." And already he was drained... they'd left Loki alone for at least a few hours now, he should be calmer. "I'm going to change his bag out. I'll let you know how's he doing."

"Perhaps I should accompany you?" While the offer was appreciated, Tony shook his head. 

"It... isn't going to be pleasant. Not painful, just very... smelly." He'd changed a few bags for his mother, when she was at her sickest. While Thor's intentions were nice..."... it can be embarrassing." He'd leave it at that.

"Ah." A pause, and Tony pat his shoulder briefly, if not awkwardly. "I'll let you know if he's up for a visit."

A quick ride downward, Tony found himself in the infirmary a short time later, readying a bag quickly. Get in, and get out. That's all it would be.

Or so he intended... his curiosity got the best of him, as he looked over Loki. Conscious, but not very responsive. To be expected, he supposed.

"This," Holding up the bag, he made sure he had Loki's attention before continuing, "… is going to need replacing at least once a day, by me." The wary stare made him elaborate, voice neutral. "It doesn't hurt, but you can't pull at it. If you leave it alone, you'll heal faster. Nod if you understand." 

A slow nod, and Tony lifted the blanket slowly as Loki's trembling increased.

Dark eyes contacted fearful ones, and he stilled for a moment... before patting the blue hand before him, skeletal and cool. "… It won't hurt. I promise." Flat and neutral, he simply slipped the detachable ring around the first bag, sealing it shut before removing the contents, an audible pop being made as he quickly replaced it, ignoring the stench that followed. Again, to be expected... science was unchanging, as were digestive secretion smells.

A quick snap, and a new bag was put into place, the other one tied and thrown into the medical waste deposit before he leisurely leaned against a chair, watching Loki for a moment, who watched him just as intently, if not curiously.

"… What?" He was just as curious as Loki, shifted Tony moving closer to prevent him from moving too much. Propped up amongst pillows, Loki observed him, still moving closer to him. This was... puzzling. What was he up to?

-=-=-=-

Loki was curled up under one thin blanket, having kicked off all the others, and looked up as Tony entered. Didn't raise his head, just looked at him, blinking slowly. They hardly ever found him asleep when they entered, and even Thor had only caught him falling asleep a handful of times and even then Loki jerked awake quickly, seeming to try everything to keep himself from falling asleep again. 

Why he wasn't allowing himself any rest was beyond any of them, though they all agreed that it probably had something to do with the 'training' he had received at Odin's hands.

Loki seemed to be listening to what Tony was saying, nodding when asked to do so. Whether he was really understanding the meaning behind Tony's words wasn't clear; wide fearful eyes followed his every moment but he didn't try to get away or struggle against him. Didn't even react to the smell when it came... he was used to much worse.

He didn't seem angry now, Loki noticed, but he knew he was even if Scientist didn't show it. That was why he was here, wasn't he? Alone? Without Doctor, without Captain and without Big Brother? Scientist had never visited him alone before and he was clearly done with the bag, yet he still stood there, leaning against the wall, waiting.

Loki knew what he was waiting for. He had been bad, had said something to anger him and now Scientist wanted pay-back.

The trickster averted his eyes as Tony moved closer again, standing next to the bed. He didn't want to do this but what choice did he have? Scientist was clearly waiting for him to make a move and if he waited any longer it was only going to get worse!

Biting back a whimper Loki slowly pushed himself up. Bruce was still pumping him full with pain killers but his body felt stiff and sluggish after being bedridden for so long already, without any real strength to move himself, but Loki managed to slowly turned himself onto his side, sliding closer to Tony. He avoided looking into his eyes, keeping his gaze in front of him and reached out, bony fingers curling into the material of Tony's shirt. He hadn't done this in a while, hadn't been able to ever since his mouth had been stitched shut, but before that the guards had made him do this plenty of times. He knew he was probably rusty at this, but he was talented at least! They had taught him so many tricks and always told him he did a good job. He liked doing this because of it, liked being told he was good.

And he didn't expect this moment to be any different as leaned in and pressed his face against Tony's crotch, rubbing the spot with his nose and applying pressure with his mouth and tongue, making it _very_ obvious what he was trying to do. Surely giving Scientist a blow job would stop him from being mad at him.

-=-=-=-

Shaking hands clutching his shirt, Tony trying to look at Loki, trying to figure out what in the hell Loki was doing, pulling himself closer. He was trying to communicate a need of some sort, of that he was sure, and eyes searched in silence, trying to find the white erasable board-

The first sign of wetness baffled him, the nudging and prodding even more so. The suction applied however, was too much to handle.

"Holy shit..." His voice, he couldn't even raise it, it kept the same even tone even as he jumped backward, head hitting the wall in surprise. That hardly matched the clatter Loki made as hit the tile, a whimper escaping him.

The little 404 error, warning system overload does-not-compute signal lit his entire skull, only snapping out of it to shakily grab the white board off the floor. What.. .there was no rationalization, no reason for this! The response was beyond bizarre, and Tony dropped the board in favor of picking up the battered god, ignoring whimpers as he placed him on the bed again, smoothing out sheets before keeping at an arms length.

There were no words for... for whatever this was!

"Why?" A question he rarely asked, yet Loki kept him guessing, his own voice shaky, uncertain as he handed over the whiteboard, taking a deep breath.

Did he even want to know? Probably not.

He didn't wait for the answer, neutrality returning to his voice. "… I'lll be back... keep being good, stay put."

Up the elevator, his mind raced as he touched the small, wet spot on his jeans, shuddering. Far be it from him to object a blow job under normal circumstances... but what the fuck was _this?_ It... spontaneous, without batting an eye, almost rehearsed, like a repeated second action.

… he really didn't want to know, though he gambled he all ready did.

"Thor...?" He'd never been more grateful to see him, the blonde turning in question. "Tony Stark, hath my brother's mood improved?"

"… that's certainly one way of putting it." Blue, confused eyes met his, Tony staying in the elevator, motioning for Thor to follow.

Tony Stark was acting most strange, an inquisitive eyebrow raising but following him none the less. "Has brother offered information regarding prior response?" He longed to understand the inner workings of his brother's mind, he could simply not follow his logic. From the looks of it, nor could Tony Stark.

"He's offering more than information." Again Thor was puzzled, Tony's voice the same as always, although he was notably tensed and pale. The elevator descended, boots marking their presence in the infirmary as Tony lead Thor to Loki.

For a moment, silence... Tony struggling but going back into his original position, closer to Loki then he had been, voice even. "Loki... can you show Thor what you were going to show me? I'd really appreciate it."

-=-=-=-

The grip he had on Tony's shirt was mainly for helping to keep himself upright and he didn't let go in time when he jerked away from him, yanking him right out of the bed. He hit the floor with a pained cry, the fall jarring all his limbs as Tony stumbled away from him, fresh bruises already blossoming from the fall.

Why?! He didn't understand! He had tried to do what he had been taught! Tears sprang to his eyes and Loki wrapped his arms around his head, not struggling against Tony as he lifted him back up into the bed out of fear of doing another thing wrong.

"… I'll be back... keep being good, stay put."

Tony all but ran out of the room and Loki watched him go, even more confused and conflicted now. Keep being good? But he clearly hadn't been good, otherwise Scientist wouldn't have pulled away from him like that.  
Whimpering his grip on the white board tightened and Loki hunched over, his head between his arms and the white board held over his head, as if it could somehow protect him; couldn't he do _anything_ right?!

He stayed like that, rocking back and forth until Tony returned. Loki did not look up as he felt how the man resumed his close spot to the bed, tensing up as he waited for the first blow that was sure to fall soon. He deserved it. He was such a failure for fucking up something as simple as a blow job and pleasing someone else.

"Loki... can you show Thor what you were going to show me? I'd really appreciate it."

Loki froze and blinked slowly, before raising his head, uncertain. His face was wet with tears as he looked at his brother, who stared back at him with a confused expression on his face.

Again? But...

Swallowing Loki nodded and slowly turned to face Tony again, though he was clearly a lot more tense, scared and confused about the whole ordeal. What choice did he have though, even though he really didn't want Big Brother to see him like this. Even though the order had been phrased like a question he knew he couldn't disobey, no matter who was watching.

This time he didn't reach out to hold Tony's shirt in case he would jerk away again, which made it harder for him to keep himself held up in a proper position, but with a lot of difficulty he managed and, horribly aware of both sets of eyes on him, leaned forward and pressed his mouth against Tony's clothed crotch, nipping and licking and applying teeth to the fabric to stimulate him as much as possible.

-=-=-=-

He made him cry, somehow. A fact that nagged at him, even as he prepared for one of the most awkward moments of his life.

Their was simply no adequate way to explain it... he kept his eyes on Thor's face, hands clenching and unclenching by his sides as Loki shifted, the pressure, heat, and suction providing no pleasure. He wouldn't keep this going for long, only long enough to make a point.

Confusion, as teary eyes met his, the urge to wipe them almost irresistible. Loki's movements were sluggish and his balance wobbly, and Thor could but watch his brother's face move closer to-

The residual thud of his heart could be felt on his throat, words unable to form as he witnessed with horror what was happening. Nothing, he could say nothing as his gaze met Tony's, who looked directly at him, jaw clenched and brow furrowed in anything but pleasure. He sounded calm enough, but dark eyes showed true intent.

"I only changed his colostomy bag." 

Thor's nod was quick, gaze averted, and Tony unclenched one fist, tentatively placing it atop Loki's head. "That was all, Loki. I'm..." fine, except that he really wasn't, and he wasn't about to start lying now. "… not interested in this." More confusion; well, that was something they had in common. They confused the shit out of each other, fantastic.

Thor had yet to look over again, nudging him slightly, just hard enough to garner attention. "… you want to say something?" It was his brother after all... and like hell if he had something to say right now.

Confusion and fear, that's what met his gaze. Eyes shut, mouth opening to speak, but no words gave way, and again it shut. What was there to say, to an act such as this? He could only remember the stories, his brother of long ago lounging in his chamber, a scathing look upon a pale face as his nose tilted to the ceiling.

"I don't give 'blow jobs.'" As if it was beneath him, while the act was pleasurable, Loki simply did not participate in such things, accepting but never offering. The idea of defiling his mouth with such implements insulted him... his words to Thor even centuries later, Loki's nose again in the air as they spoke freely as brothers often did.

A different lifetime, a different Loki.

Tony watched the expressions glaze over Thor's features, averting it only as the first of several tears began marring his face again. This wasn't what he intended... he didn't really have any intention, other than to show what Loki would, evidently, do. He still couldn't understand the reason, but judging by Loki's face; this wasn't helping.

Far be it from him to step up, but he couldn't stand there and say nothing.

"You're a good boy, Loki." Saying it disgusted him, treating him like some frightened mongrel was a mixture of pathetic and nauseating, and confusion still radiated from him, even as Tony pet the top of his head. Thor's crying was only upsetting him... and he didn't know what else to say...

"Thor, talk to Bruce. Just... go tell him what happened, see what he has to say." He was the most well spoken, the most patient as odd as that was to admit, and more importantly, Thor's emotional outburst would hopefully cease. It wasn't that he didn't sympathize, but it wasn't conducive... that was clear by how Loki trembled.  
[0:40:43] Funnel Cake: He almost questioned why Tony Stark asked him to leave, but it would be of little use; too upset to covey thought, he watched Loki watching him, and gripped his shoulder lightly. "I'll return shortly, brother. Continue to behave." His red cape swished behind him, stepping into the elevator and staking toward the shared room, knocking as he wiped his eyes. Regaining control was never an issue, unless said topic included Loki.

It would seem even in his vacant state, his brother consumed his every concern.

-=-=-=-

Loki stopped the moment he felt the hand in his hair, Tony's words that he wasn't interested reaching his ears. His brows furrowed in blatant confusion. What did he want?! Scientist wanted one thing, and than something else entirely!

Thoughts running rampant Loki stayed in place, still hovering near Tony, not daring to move as long as his hand was in his hair. Still he said that he was a good boy. It made no sense... nothing Scientist said or did made any sense.

Glancing up at his brother Loki was saddened to see the tears on Thor's face. Why was Big Brother crying? He never cried. He was always so strong, wasn't afraid of anything? Was it because of him as well? Was Big Brother crying because he couldn't perform correctly?

As Thor gripped his shoulder gently the flinch that followed was still automatic, and happened before he could stop it, but it was only Big Brother. Loki didn't like it when any of the others touched him, or even came near him, but he liked being close to his brother, pressed up against him and feeling the warmth of his body seeping into his own.

And now he was leaving... leaving him alone with Scientist, who confused him so. He would continue to do his best to behave but Loki wasn't sure if he could... not with this guy...

~*~

Bruce lay on the bed, propped up with a pillow and a laptop in his lap, when Thor entered. He had no idea how to take care of someone who was as malnourished as Loki was. He knew that he would have to start slowly, as his body was most likely not used to any kind of sustenance, but what could he give someone who wasn't even human? And in what quantities? How often each day? How fast?

Internet could only tell him so much... what they needed was an expert, someone who knew how to deal with extreme cases such as this... but who could they trust?

“Hey Thor.” Honestly he was a little surprised to see Thor here as Bruce closed his laptop and sat up straight. His worries grew when he saw the look on the god's face, the tear marks... had something happened? “What's wrong?”

-=-=-=-

Such emotion typically didn't befall the Thor. Not to say he lacked emotion, such was not the case- he was rather heart felt and expressive given circumstances. Sadness dug its claws deep within, Thor's resistance heavily weakened. The havoc of the last few days, realizing his own father had lead him around as a puppet, to find Loki in such a manner, for his own desire to be returned; too much to bare, even for he.

Little had anyone cared of his state of mind, and the question caught him off guard.

His carefully attempted mask crumbled and while the tears didn't fall, his broken voice echoed. "… It's worse than imagined, Banner. What's befallen him."

He couldn't look him in the eye, not as he spoke of this. "… In Tony Stark's attempt to aid him, my brother felt it... fitting to provide him with oral stimulation."

Silence, and he met Bruce's gaze, a hushed sob escaping his own lips, and he rambled, he rambled simply because he knew not to speak to, memories clinging to him and his brothers action made him sick.

"He always spoke of detesting the action, hardly a secret to the few who knew him well... to use this as a weapon, as a means of degradation..." The sob escaped him, unpreventable. "… a king, Banner. My brother is heir to a throne, was a temporary ruler of an entire planet, indoctrinated treaties... he's now to his knees. Similar to the harlots we ostracized in youth. He was never fit for this, such depth, such intelligence, the likes of which I could not compete... and this is the result of my, our own father's deeds?"

As if collapsing in on himself, hands went around his own arms, an attempt to soothe the pain no one else would. He deserved that too, for what had been done to Loki.

"… W-we don't know what to say, Tony Stark suggested you may have an idea... w-we simply cannot yell or demean but I know not what to do... I could never aid him properly, it seems I still cannot."

-=-=-=-

… what?

Bruce blinked slowly, not sure if he had understood that correctly, but had definitely heard the words 'Tony', 'Loki', and 'oral stimulation'.

Loki had tried to give Tony a blow job? _Why?_

All Bruce could do was stand there, bewildered as he processed the information and watching how Thor crumbled down in front of him as he explained. He quickly moved to the god's side and guided him back to the bed, gently but firmly pushing him down until he was seated. Getting a glass he filled it with water from the tap in the bathroom and moved back to the bed, pressing it in Thor's hands as he sat down next to him.

What made Tony think that he knew the answer? This whole situation was as strange to him as it was to them. He struggled to find an answer, anything that could help make Thor feel a little better. It was incredibly unnerving to see the God of Thunder, who was so powerful, reduced to a crying wreck over something Bruce honestly thought wasn't his fault.

“I think...” he began slowly, “... that we should give Loki time. He's been through so much, his mind is warped so I can understand that he might have difficulties ignoring what he has been taught these last few years, out of fear of...” Bruce swallowed thickly, really hating the words. “... out of fear of getting punished if he doesn't. He most likely doesn't understand that we're not after him like that.” He shrugged. “I will take time. We don't know how far the mental damage extents, so... when he tries things like this, don't freak out but gently tell him that it's not necessary. As often as needed until he gets it.”

It made the most sense to him. Just like he wasn't a doctor, he also wasn't a psychiatrist.

“I think that is all we can do, for now anyway. Right now though-” he shifted slightly and leaned forward, trying to catch Thor's eyes. “The last thing he needs is for you to crumble down under guilt. None of us think you're to blame, Thor. Odin is, as are those who helped him. Right now you're the only one Loki allows near him without freaking out.” Bruce patted him on the shoulder. “He needs his big brother, Thor.”

-=-=-=-

He was confused primarily, above all else. He'd grown most… unfamiliar with comfort, his mother doing but sparingly. He was warrior after all, a prince among them, emotion wasn't a particularly openly abundant aspect on Asgard, if it wasn't joyous and accompanied by meed.

This, however, was more than expected. He didn't drink the water, but he did heed the words, exhaling hard and long before nodding. Yes, it all made sense. He need be strong for both of them... somehow, Loki maintained trust in him still; he'd not hinder that further and inhibit progress.

He wasn't particularly good at forming plans, though he had something in mind, his mind clearer after venting. Still, the idea of burdening another, particularly Banner, was caused embarrassment.

"Apologies, few care of Loki's well being, I meant not to burden you further." A genuine apology, Thor returning the thankful squeeze on Bruce's shoulder before departing, a better sense of what to do taking hold.

~*~

This was the most awkward fifteen minutes in his entire life.

He sent Thor upstairs to calm down and for some advice- Bruce was better at handling emotional people than he was, he wasn't good with emotions unless he could relate first hand.

Tony didn't think, however, that Bruce would offer him a hand job, bed time story, glass of milk and fucking fairy tale... what the shit was taking him so long?

He could only pat Loki's head for so long, awkwardly looking at the upset god who took to looking at the elevator, no doubt waiting for Thor.

The elevator dinged and Tony practically rejoiced, Thor in seemingly better spirits even with puffy eyes. "Tony Stark, a moment with my brother, alone." 

Pshhh, he could take a lifetime! "Yup, good Loki, see you later." He practically ran to the elevator, prancing into his bedroom and jumping into bed, looking at Bruce before smiling, "Well, the good news is, I'll never bother you for head again!"

Ever again....ugh.

~*~

Taking a seat by his brothers side, Thor breathed deep, searching for his hand and taking hold, taking the white board into his hands. "Loki, your gratitude is appreciated by all here, but... such action is not a necessity here on Midgard." Or anywhere that wasn't a dungeon, but he'd leave that be. Simple and short, even... that's how he needed to act for now.

"Writing thanks is more than enough, we will do our best to accommodate your wishes... did you perhaps wish for anything now?"

-=-=-=-

"Well, the good news is, I'll never bother you for head!"

Bruce blinked and shook his head. Tony's voice made it sound like what had happened didn't bother him, but Bruce knew better than that. Knew his lover better than to be fooled. Sighing he walked back to the bed and sat down. “What happened? Thor came in with the weirdest story. What happened to make Loki want to give you a blow job?” Because he couldn't wrap his mind around it!

~*~

Time passed slowly, Loki anxiously waiting for Thor to return. He didn't like this. The other man still stood there, so close, patting his head and staring down at him Loki could not help but feel that he wanted something. Even though he had clearly shown he hadn't. But how would he know if they weren't clear? Saying one thing and wanting something else and then wanting another thing and saying he didn't and-  
It hurt his head.

So he stayed still and waited, letting the man pet his head and taking no comfort from it until – finally – the elevator dinged and his brother walked in.

Loki was more than happy to see Scientist leave, who did it with all haste. Red eyes followed Thor's every move, not daring to even blink as if he was afraid Big Brother would leave again if he lost sight of him. The things Thor said to him were... strange though. Loki didn't really understand. Tried to.  
He didn't really care anyway, he was just happy Thor was back and sitting close and talking to him because listening to his voice helped him relax even though he didn't always understand what he was trying to say.

He did understand the question though, as the white board was handed to him. There indeed was one thing he wanted to ask, though he was afraid that Big Brother would react badly to it. But it had been gnawing at him for so long... he had to know.

Taking the marker between his ever-trembling fingers Loki started writing, and his handwriting was still shaky and difficult to read, uneven and missing letters here and there. The question was clear though as the trickster turned to board around so Thor could see it, and promptly averted his eyes.

'why you stopped visiting me wat did i do rong'

-=-=-=-

He hadn't expected anything... and for that he was glad. Loki's question, in it's shaky scrall and misspelled lettering inwardly made him wince. Grateful was he for Banner's encouragement and averted eyes; he needed the moment to keep his face blank, but only that moment.

"I can only imagine what father told you... Loki, I never stopped visiting you." Confusion, even with his head turned, and calloused fingers brought the narrow jaw upward, peering into the scarlet eyes of his brother with nothing but affection, hoping his words would get through.

"Never were you at fault, never was I angry... father told me you no longer wished to see me, Loki. He said... I somehow angered you..." He couldn't help the small frown that laced features, unsure if Loki believed him... until he remembered something.

"Your bear blanket, I found it, in shreds, adjacent to your vacant cell upon a visit. I was informed you no longer wished to have it, and in anger, destroyed it because it was once in my possession. I... always came, but they changed your cell... it took months for me to find your new location." Thor halted, the look in Loki's eyes urging him to move.

The bed creaked under his weight, a strong arm engulfing his brother in an embrace, urging his frail body against his, skin so thin and cold. "You could never do anything to make me stop wanting to see you. Never." Whispered into dark hair, Thor shut his eyes and stroked his brother's arm, careful of old injuries. Finally, he was where he belonged, by his brothers side.

~*~

"Charisma, my waxed chest and abs, my philanthropist genius nature... you know, he just forgot about all of his problems and went 'damn I want me some of that dick." Tony followed the statement with a shrug, lounging on his bed.

"In my attempt to be a decent human being and let you sleep, I changed his colostomy bag... and he was staring, so I asked him what and he licked my pants. Yeah." Honestly, he had no idea how to explain this either, it was too... weird, even for him.

"It's my fault really. Should have been selfish and woke you up. This is what I get for not living up to my reputation. Actually... it's your fault, for making me not want to live up to my reputation, you loveable fuck."

-=-=-=-

A few days passed. Loki hadn't tried to give sudden no-warning blow jobs again but as a result his anxiety for Tony seemed to have increased a bit, because the man had confused him so and Loki didn't know where to go with him.

Things had improved between him and Thor though. Loki was relieved beyond compare to find out that Big Brother didn't hate him as he had been made to believe, and that the only reasons why he hadn't visited him in his cell was because Thor couldn't find him, not because he no longer cared.

Loki cherished the many and often long moments Big Brother spend with him, sitting next to his bed, holding his hand and telling him stories from before... when they were young and everything was still right. Loki still remembered those moments and he loved being reminded of them.

Bruce and Tony had finally put him on a decent drip, feeding liquid nutrients into his body as a first step to getting him back to a normal weight. That was going to take months, Bruce had warned them all, but the first step was there and in a few days he wanted to see how Loki would respond to something that he would actually have to swallow himself. Something simple, like juice, nothing that required chewing. That was still a ways off.

Loki still didn't sleep a lot which was a constant reason of worry for Bruce, but something he only shared with Tony because Thor already had enough worries. The thunder god was proving himself to be the best big brother Loki could wish for and seeing him with the smaller god who was finally starting to relax more when he was around, was almost heart warming. Even to Tony, which was something Bruce liked to tease him with.

Perhaps Loki really stood a chance after all. They had moved him from the infirmary into the grand, spacious room Thor occupied when he was on earth. Whether Loki liked the change of scenery was up for debate, it was clear this whole place made him anxious for some reason and only Thor's near presence seemed to ease his mind a bit. After asking once again what he wanted his answer was still the same. 'I want to go back'. They hadn't bothered asking again.

Bruce and Tony were on their way to Thor's room. The colostomy bag needed changing again and after the fiasco of the first time they had decided it was best to all be there just in case Loki got strange ideas again, at least until they understood why Loki had done to Tony what he had done, since telling him that blow jobs were definitely not necessary just seemed to confuse him more. Odin really had done a horrible number on him, in more ways than Bruce even wanted to think about.

-=-=-=-

He was still able to hide his feelings, for that he was grateful. The next few days had been pleasant, Thor reminiscing with Loki about fonder memories, times shared together when they were but boys. Loki wasn't the only one he'd bonded with, Tony St- uhm, Tony, teaching him interesting slang terminology and various unmentionable words that a proper prince should not recite (he knew some of them, others made him chuckle). An attempt to make him more Midgardian, he supposed, considering the length of time they'd stay.

Staying there...he could never be more grateful for either of his friends courtesy. A large, spacious room, one Thor has stayed in before, two separate beds for himself and his brother- though notably, Loki slept little. It was nice, however, to see him in better spirits... until he awoke this morning and realized what the day held.

It had been a full week since he had taken Loki. Odin would surely show to his room. While he was the Allfather, he hadn't expected Thor to run off, Thor had made sure to lie convincingly, an act he proffered not to do, but necessity made it so.

Fingers ran through his brother's hair, the softening ebony taking on a less brittle touch. He'd see him better, back to himself, no matter how long it took.

"Thor. You guys up?" Messy brown hair, and Thor opened the door with a wide smile, forcing his namesake attitude. Jubilant as ever, that's how he'd appear. 

"Indeed we are." He could guess what they were there for, they'd been doing it for days now.

Seated next to his brother, Thor traced his hands again, noticing the wary look Loki wore, and the still awkward look Tony tried to fight. "Hey Loki..." Eh, even the introduction sounded awkward to his own ears, but shit if Tony knew what to say. Loki and he simply confused each other, that's all there was to it.

"All right, just be a good boy and hold still, we'll be quick." For both their sakes, really.

_"Sir, there is someone here to speak to Thor Odinson."_ He shared Loki's wince at the name, Tony sparing the ceiling a look to address Jarvis. "You sure about that?"

"I'll see who it is Tony St- uh, Tony." Right, first names only on Midgard. Friends only used first names.

He needn't concern his friends with this though... giving Loki's hand a squeeze, Thor offered a smile and a promise to return quickly, walking toward the elevator. He had no doubts, a visitor from Asgard would await him with a message.

Well, let them. Thor had prepared for this moment for days.

-=-=-=-

Bruce cast Tony a confused stare at Thor walked of to meet... whoever it was. It couldn't be good. No one knew that Thor was even here, unless they were from... but no, that was impossible.

Loki looked confused as well, clear from the way he kept casting wary glanced at the door Thor had disappeared through. Bruce sighed. “Jarvis, show us who is waiting for Thor please.”

A panel in the ceiling opened and Bruce quickly placed a reassuring hand on Loki's knee as the god jerked in surprise, a screen sliding down and flooping on. The image moved as the camera swiveled to focus on their guest, who turned out to be three men dressed in the strangest attire he had ever seen... though it was recognizable.

Loki seemed to recognize it too from the way he suddenly gasped and tensed. The three men were wearing the unmistakable ornate golden armor of Asgard's palace guards. What were they doing here?!  
“Easy Loki... nothing to worry about...” Bruce murmured, though he didn't really believe it himself and watched as how Thor moved into the camera's view as well. 

~*~

The moment Thor arrived, the three men banged their right fists against their left shoulders and bowed as the first spoke up. “My prince.” he said before straightening again. “We are here on the explicit orders of the All-father to bring back the prisoner Loki Laufeyson and escort him back to his cell.” The two other guards took a step forward; one of them held a pair of shackles, chains dangling and what looked like a replica of the muzzle, the other something that looked like a screwdriver and another rounded plate with four holes drilled into its sides, bolts already in place.

“I am afraid we can't take no for an answer. All-fathers orders.”

~*~

Their voices were clear and loud through the speakers of the TV and Bruce slowly turned to gauge Loki's reaction. The god was staring at the screen with a wide-eyed look, seemingly frozen in place, but suddenly, without warning, he jerked and threw the covers back, trying to climb out of bed.

“Whoa, no Loki! You can't- it will be alright, Loki! Stay in bed! Help me Tony!” Trying to pin the flailing, struggling god back tot he mattress without hurting him Bruce hoped Thor would be able to deal with those guards and make them leave.

Loki was putting up quite a fight. His weak punches barely hurt but he truly seemed desperate to get away. They were here for him! He had to go back!

-=-=-=-

Thor bowed his head in respect, not out of necessity but out of kindness. Smile still set on his face, his face was the ideal portrait of saint hood, hair shimmering in the brief glows of the sun, blue eyes aglow and radiant.

Shackles, a muzzle, a new plate with screws- so his father had watched the whole time. Not surprising, neither was their refusal to take no for an answer. No one disobeyed the Allfather, it was the unwritten rule of the realm.

Beaming, he clapped an guard on the soldier, friendly face alight with smile. "A friend of mine, has been teaching me Midgardian phrases, in an attempt to assimilate me a little better." 

Confused, the guards looked to one another, Thor clapping his hands together cheerfully. "I think he taught me a particular one that fits my current situation." His voice remained pleasant, gleam never leaving his eyes. "Fuck that, over my lifeless corpse."

Tony's jaw dropped in a combination of wonder, hold on Loki temporarily weakening until Bruce yelled for him. "Actually it was fuck that shit, over my dead body... but close." He hadn't thought he'd direct the terms at his all-knowing father, but hey, glad he could be of assistance.

Each guard could only blink, confusion lacing faces as the one he touched earlier stepped forward. "Apologies, Prince, but we cannot take no for an answer. We will seize said prisoner if we must."

Thor nodded, extending his hand, each guard looking upon one another doubtfully. No, no he wouldn't...

But the swoosh and zoom didn't lie, Mjolinir shattering the glass of the window, calloused hands locking around it loosely. For the first time, a genuine sense of fear rushed over them, Thor straightening out as thunder crashed.

"Apologies, guards. But the only way to do complete your task is to defeat me."

He sounded anything but sorry, beginning to swing Mjolinir, and a baffled guard stepped forward.

"Surely my prince, you cannot be-"

The fist swipe of Mjolinir almost sent him flying, Thor's grip on his armor the only thing preventing the fall as he gave Mjolinir another hard swing. It collided with bone, the pop of a nose breaking underneath it loud, Thor hearing teeth clack and for a change, not caring in the slightest. These same men knew what happened to his brother, and had the audacity to bring back chains, nails, fitted metal masks? He was being _gentle._

He tossed the body to the other guards, blood spattered Mjolnir at the ready. "I advise you send message to my father. Any meetings in which require me, shall be between us alone. If he wish to have words with his son, perhaps he should get off his throne and do so. This is my first and final warning." Eyes darkened considerably, thunder crashing yet again. "Heed it, or ye will suffer fates much worse."

"M-my prince, y-yes." Funny how they stumbled and fettered about now, when they so easily took advantage of the weak. Their faces were burned to memory... the time for retribution would come. He watched them leave before making his way to Loki's room, only to hear the sounds of struggle.

"What's happening? Loki?" Calm but clearly concerned, Thor made his way to the bed, aware of a device in the ceiling he had never seen, like a moving picture. In it, shattered glass, the door...t hat was were he was. He did not quite understand, but... there was no mistaking it. That was his location prior.

"An explanation, please."

"We're nosy bastards, and there's cameras everywhere. We figured it was..." Tony gestured, returning a hand to Loki's arms which attempted to flail pathetically. They all knew why Loki was flailing... no one knew how to handle it.

-=-=-=-

Loki stopped flailing once he realized that Thor had returned and sagged back against the sheets, panting and gasping for breath. Bruce slowly relinquished his hold on him once he was sure that Loki wouldn't start again and took off his pinch the bridge of his nose. Christ, what had prompted _that?_ The sight of those Asgardians? Or something else?

Noticing Loki moving Bruce looked up and watched how the god was trying to reach the white board lying on the bedside stand. Gritting his teeth he took the white board and handed it to the god, keeping his grip on it for a few more seconds before letting him have it. He didn't really want to know what Loki wanted to write down; so far none of it had been good.

Loki's fast scribbling was almost feverish and Bruce could see the tears beginning to well up again, though he was glad to see they didn't fall. Throwing the marker away Loki flipped the board around the show Thor and Bruce leaned forward to read it as well.

He immediately he hadn't. “Jesus, Loki...” Still even now? Even after seeing the shackles and the muzzle and that... plate the guards had with them, ready to drill that onto his skull a second time?

'why not let me go wit them?'

-=-=-=-

And here he thought it couldn't get anymore awkward. Tony shook his head again, pinching the bridge of his nose, and for the first time, Thor regarded Loki with something other than a smile, or a teary gaze. He actually looked irritated.

"Why don't I send you to the dungeons? Perhaps because I wish for you to heal and be able to write, read, eat, and bathe again, and not subjected to _torment."_ Loki's fearful gaze made the edges of his icy demeanor thaw, Mjolinir clanging to the floor. He couldn't understand, he could not fathom this.

"Brother, a reason, any reason to return to the dungeon other than saying you are unsafe would be greatly appreciated."

But he didn't write any further, and Thor's frayed patience was beginning to wane. "Very well then, my answer remains no, it shall remain no until the stars explode, and that is final." He reclaimed hold of Loki's hand, not bothering to pull away as he flinched, grinding his teeth. He still needed to be bandaged and changed, and he let Tony and Bruce do so in almost silence, his hand not leaving Loki's.

Aggravated maybe, but he would not give up on his brother. He'd fight to the death for his safety.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long delay, we're good at those it seems. I have one more chapter after this one (which I both hate and love for different reasons) and after that I don't know when we'll write new chapters for this. We have about 10 ongoing RPs, if not more, I stopped counting and they all demand attention, we keep switching between them so... yeah. XD Lots and lots and LOTS of plot bunnies.
> 
> ANYWAY! I just want to express our MASSIVE thank-you to everyone who commented and left kudos on this! *showers you all with love* I didn't think this story would actually become this well-reserved so call me pleasantly surprised! ^_^ I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I'll try to be less of a snail when it comes to the next one. I somewhat rushed the editing on this one and I don't have a beta, so there might still be mistakes - please let me know if you find any grave ones. As a reminder, big chunks of italics mean it's a flashback.
> 
> *prays the html won't fuck up this time*
> 
> -Necro

A few days passed, and within them almost nothing changed, Loki remaining a silent, anxious mess while Thor grumbled, sending each new wave of Aesir guards on their way. Why Odin did not come himself or send more then a few men was anyone’s guess, each batch leaving with what were moderate injuries for someone fighting Thor. Tony watched each one, scotch coating his tongue. It was a game, wasn't it? Odin was toying with his sons, for reasons he could only fathom.

And Loki wasn't exactly making progress. Besides a minimal weight gain he remained damned intent on going back to Asgard, something that was really beginning to grate on his and Thor's nerves for obvious reasons. Yeah, he was traumatized, he _got_ it, it didn't mean reading 'let them take me' any easier. 

Nor did trying to figure out how to explain this to Clint and Natasha when they returned. Scotch tingled on the way down, Tony toying with clean bandages. Natasha was probably going to have no discernible opinion and be able to sympathize with both Clint and Loki, which he could tolerate. Clint though... even in Loki's weakened state he would not trust him, not that there was anything left to distrust, the empty shell the god was...

"You're getting started early this morning."

It didn't stop him from the tipping the glass, a shrug offered Steve’s way as he took a healthy sip. "Mulling everything over has that affect on me."

"Mhm." If he was drinking man he might have a scotch himself, Steve settling against the couch with a sigh. "They're coming home early."

"Yippee." Wasn't hard to figure out who. "You have any great ideas for the reveal?"

"I'm working on it." He was, or at least trying to. Really there wasn't any nice way to tell his team mate the man responsible for forcing him to kill civilians and soldiers was now under their protective custody and living in the very same huge home, regardless of the circumstance. 

"Where's Bruce?" It was painfully obvious where Thor was; no matter how frustrated he grew with Loki he would not leave his side.

"Sleeping hopefully." Though he doubted it, no one had been sleeping peacefully the last few days, though frankly he was more concerned about Bruce; Hulk was obviously teetering on the edge, bound to release his aggression soon. It was only a matter of time, and between Loki’s insistence on going back, Clint’s to-be awesome reaction and each day bringing more Asgardian guards... he was a ticking bomb, and if he went off in Stark Tower there was only so much he could do.

~*~

The warm water of the shower pelted his skin, soothing tense muscles, Thor hoping to ease lingering concern with idle care. It worked little, long hair a dense blanket or water, wrung out before dried. He used to whistle after baths, and for a few days he forced it. Each day brought more guards, and with it, Loki’s messily scribbled comments erased until the board was again clean.

They stayed regardless, always in the background of his thoughts. Why he would wish to return, the reasons evaded him still, but as Loki healed, at some point his actions could not be altered. Dressing in what was Midgardian attire, compliments of Tony St- Tony, Thor steeled himself with a smile, exiting with a small puff of steam.

"Morning." Eyes beheld the blue flesh that was slowly beginning to heal, the bruises around his temples a faded purple. He remained swallowed in a mass of pillows and blankets, the mass of bandages often causing him to blend in save for the eyes. He didn't receive much response, nor did he expect to.

It didn't matter. Whatever warped sense Loki made of this did not matter. Moving to his quickly filling wardrobe, two shirts were held up, his two 'favorite' colors as he had been informing Loki as of late. "Blue or red?" Any question that would merit a response that wasn't 'send me back' was a good question.

-=-=-=-

Loki's response was slow, lazily opening his eyes and staring at his brother. While there was improvement, it might as well not even be there at all. Bruce had attempted to get him to swallow some juice after he had been on the drip for a few days and while Loki hadn't complained out loud – not with words anyway – it had been clear it had upset his stomach. No surprise after two years of no food and water (how he had lasted that long without dying, torture not included, was beyond any of them). Either way they were pretty much back to square one, having to take things even slower – stomach cramps were not helping Loki.

Bruce still didn't think that the dark-haired god was out of danger yet but he had survived the first week and that was already above expectations.

He still wasn't talking though. And still not sleeping properly. If this kept up they may have to start administering some king of drug again to help him sleep, to improve his chances... but for still obvious reasons Bruce was wary of using any kind of medication. There was still so little he knew about Loki's inner workings and Thor wasn't of much help in that department either.

Loki eyed the two different colored shirts with a near spaced out look, his eyes surrounded by dark bags due to his lack of sleep. It took him over thirty seconds before his hand finally moved under the blanket and pointed a thin finger at the red shirt.

Big Brother looked good in red. It suited him. He'd always worn red. Big Brother shouldn't stop doing so. The Captain wore blue, and Loki liked the Captain too, but red, that color was for his Big Brother only. He didn't like it when the others wore his brother's colors just like he didn't like to see Big Brother in anything other than red.

His hand flopped back under the blankets and Loki closed his eyes again, just for a few seconds before forcing them open once more. The whiteboard was forever within his reach and he longed to grab it and write down what he wanted... but whenever he did so, Big Brother seemed to grow annoyed at him, and Loki didn't want that. But he couldn't stay here either!

It was making him anxious all over again, knowing that he didn't know how to tell his brother _why_ , why it was important he go back to Asgard. He was scared of Odin, terrified of what he would do to him again, but it was better than what would happen to him otherwise. He'd be safe there. Not here. Never here!

Why couldn't they understand that?

A knock on the door and Loki jumped, quickly scooting further under the blankets as the door opened and Steve stuck his head inside. The Captain winced, muttering “Sorry”, before glancing back at Thor. “You want pancakes? We're making pancakes. Bruce is still catching up on sleep so he won't be joining us, and he doesn't like pancakes anyway so.” He shrugged, and glanced at Loki again, still huddling under the blankets. “Unless... you prefer to stay here...? I can bring you some.”

-=-=-=-

Pancakes? Oh he had developed a liking for them, but the dismal mood in their own quarters would undoubtedly decrease his appetite. Like it or not, for the time Loki would stay with them, and remained attached to what Thor learned was an IV, a drip that placed liquid of nutritional value inside him. The juice had not helped, but perhaps the smell of food and better company would. They'd be here for some time, perhaps a change of scenery with his companionship would be of aid.

"Can I take Loki ? There’s one of those... uhm... wheel chairs in the infirmary." And the drip had wheels on it. 

Steve offered a grin. "Sure, if he's up for it. I'll get it for you, just be really careful when you lift him because of the colostomy bag."

He didn't ask Loki because he already knew the answer, instead offering a cheerful smile, and waited for Steve to return, who averted his eyes and held the chair to give Loki some dignity, which was more for personal reasons given everything they'd witnessed in the last few day. It was Thor who pushed the chair, easing what he supposed would be nerves as eyes flit around rapidly.

"It's alright Loki. Tony is allowing us to stay here, and you look bored, brother. Let us show you around, hm?" He was already being slowly pushed through the door way, blanket draped around his shoulders and another in his lap, Steve offering what was his friendliest of smiles as Thor pushed, he walking by Loki’s side. Couldn't hurt to show him his room and a few floors before breakfast... maybe it would help him adjust.

By the time the elevator dinged Tony was already done with his breakfast, sipping coffee for a change as he offered the trio a look. Wait, the trio...?

"Thor thought it would be a good idea to help get Loki assimilated." So no negative comments, Tony. It was unspoken as Tony leaned against the counter, fairly certain that Loki was probably half scared to death, unfamiliar with the technology that loomed through half his home but okay. Wasn't his very emotionally scarred brother.

"Yeah okay." Whatever, he'd keep his opinion to himself. Setting aside coffee he watched the robots set the table, Loki wheeled to sit beside Thor, the two men off to get their pancakes a few feet away. Which left Loki with his creepy white board and the whole blow job fiasco thing still on his mind.  
"How's the uhm..." Emotional scarring? Stitches? Colostomy bag? Inability to hold down juice? "… you look bluer." And the coffee mug could not reach his lips fast enough.

-=-=-=-

Loki was more than happy staying huddled under the blankets like he had been for the last week, so when Thor pulled the blanket away and gently wormed his hands under him, the trickster froze in place completely. What! What was going on? What was Big Brother doing?!

His eyes nearly bugged out of his skull as Thor gently set him down into some kind of strange chair with wheels, lined up with many of his pillows. The Captain smiled down at him as Thor covered him with the blankets and started pushing him out of the door.

What the hell?! Where were they going?!

His fingers were tightly clenched around the armrests, turning his knuckles white. Room in, room out, down the hallway and up the elevator, Loki barely paid attention to his surroundings as Steve chattered on about the various rooms they entered, explaining what they were for. Why would Big Brother do this? Why take him away? Did he... was he letting him go back to Asgard? Was that why he had him leave the bed?

He... he hadn't done anything wrong, had he?

Swallowing down a whimper Loki reclined deeper into the pillows. It wasn't like he feared his brother, but he did fear doing something wrong, being... being _bad._ Like that one time with Scientist. Had he done something bad without even realizing? Or... or done something he had thought was the right thing, but wasn't? Perhaps Big Brother hadn't wanted to wear the red shirt! He should have picked the blue one!

By the time they entered the kitchen Loki had once again worked himself up into a state of panic, sitting rigid in the wheelchair, nail-less, bandaged fingers digging into the hard plastic. His nostrils were wide open and his breathing came with quick gasps as they settled him in front of the table.

Big metal... _things_ were laying out cutlery, and Scientist stood near the counter, coffee in his hands. Loki did not even respond to the question, remaining like a frozen statue even as Steve and Thor took their places at the table with steaming piles of pancakes.

“You okay, Loki?” Steve asked as he stabbed his pile with a fork, getting only a soft, high-pitched whine as an answer when Loki swallowed. Okay then... so far for this being a good idea, geez... Right, they weren't professionals. That was where the whole problem was at. They had no idea what they were doing. Even Bruce, with his knowledge, didn't really know where to go with the trickster, or how to... how to /fix/ him.

Perhaps they were already too late... Something Bruce had said in the beginning; even if they were able to get Loki to recover physically, perhaps he was already too far gone in his head. There was no way of telling, but it didn't look good.

Speaking of Bruce... “You're up early. I thought you were sleeping in late?”

Bruce did look tired, rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses as he shuffled into the kitchen. “I wanted to, Steve. I wanted to.” It took him a few moments to realize that there was someone else in the room. Huh... Loki, in a wheelchair, staring at the wall with a bug-eyed expression. “What... what is he doing out of bed? Not that I'm... not happy to see you, Loki, it's just... why? Who's idea was this?”

“... Thors...” Steve muttered, averting his eyes as he poked his pancakes with his fork before looking up again. “But I thought it was a good idea too! To get him out of that bed and let him see a change of scenery! Could be good for him! Right?” Right? Even though Loki was still looking spaced out, now clutching the whiteboard with one hand as the robots moved around the kitchen. Oh geez Bruce, not the raised-eyebrow thing, stop that. “Back us up here, Tony!”

-=-=-=-

Choking down a gulp of lukewarm coffee he looked between Steve and Bruce, not even thinking twice. "It's all Steves fault. Omelet?"

"Really Tony?"

"You're right, lemme think. Let's see... choose between the side of Captain Rogers and the being possessed by the Hulk who also shares my bed..." Another look towards Bruce and he nodded nonchalantly. "Yeah, hard choice there."

"It's not his err in judgment, 'tis mine." Sullen and unlike himself, Thor's food stood untouched. "I thought perhaps seeing where we are to stay would calm him, but it's..." Doing the exact opposite, and the idea of cooing 'good Loki' another moment ruined any bit of appetite. "It's only a kitchen, Loki, there is no need to fear."

Not that his words made a difference, Tony watching the interaction unfurl before an idea dawned on him. "You know it wasn't really bad idea, per say, it's just the location." Gesturing to the robots hovering, he could recall Thor's first time in his home, the guy had freaked out over the complexity of a _toaster._

"Why don't we give Loki a few more weeks and if _he's_ up to it..." With an emphasis on he; while Thor meant well he was parading Loki around because he needed air. The whitening knuckles told a different tale, Tony directing his attention to Loki. "Would you like to go back in your room now? " He added, chewing on a bit of pancake. "You're still a good boy even if you want to sit in your room alone." And maybe not be forced to encounter people. He knew from experience, people could really _suck,_ especially when they did not understand you.

-=-=-=-

That drew a reaction from Loki. His eyes, which had been wide and fixated on the opposite wall for a good five minutes, finally pulled away to settle on Tony. The nod he offered was quick and frantic; yes, yes he wanted to go back to his room! His room was familiar. The bed was familiar and while not safe, it was better than this kitchen, where the strange metal things were still moving around the table.

“Okay... another time then.” Grabbing the coffee pot Bruce watched how Thor got up and began wheeling his brother out of the kitchen, and sighed. Too soon... it had been too soon. Geez, what were they doing? Helping, or making things worse? He wanted to help Loki, he really did, they all did, the trickster deserved this chance to survive... but some times he wished Loki hadn't shown signs of consciousness when he was about to empty an entire bottle of anesthetic into his IV bag. It would definitely have made things easier in a way.

But no, Loki still lived and they would continue to take care of him to the best of their abilities. And really, first things first... Natasha and Clint would arrive in the next few days and breaking the news to them would be difficult enough already. And it wasn't helping that they kept getting unwanted Asgardians over for a 'visit'.

~*~

Loki had relaxed visibly by the time Thor pushed the wheelchair out of the elevator and wheeled it back into his room, towards the spacious bed. The trickster did not resist as he was lifted out and onto the mattress, allowing his brother to prop the pillows up for him and drape the blanket over his skinny frame. Much better... he was a little more comfortable here. He watched in silence as the wheelchair was folded and put away, but before Thor could leave to resume his breakfast in the kitchen, Loki reached out and seized the red fabric of his shirt with his bony fingers.

Wait... he didn't want Big Brother to go yet. He was keeping him from his food, he knew that and that could be bad but... just, stay with him for a few minutes? Just a few minutes? He preferred having Big Brother around. If... if he wasn't angry for his failure at being pleasant company in the kitchen just now. Or disappointed...

His free hand reached for the whiteboard, his scribble quick before he turned it to Thor to read, his other hand still fisting the thunderer's shirt; 'not mad?'

-=-=-=-

Every sigh was held within, wheels turning slowly over pristine tile. Assimilation was all he sought, Loki had been trapped within the confines of a cell for far too long, and while his room remained a far cry from such he was still confined to a bed. With far too much ease he placed Loki back under the covers, moving the drip with them, it's small wheels coming to a squeaky halt. A boney hand halted his movement, fisted into the red of his shirt and Thor paused as the one white board filled. The twist in his gut was almost palpable, blue lifting to view red.

"Of course not." Well not with Loki anyway. The bed stirred under his weight, detangling the hand that clung to him in favor of holding it. "My attempts at figuring out what's best for you are failures as of late, I'm frustrated- not with you- but with my own incapacity to relate to your current state." It was the gentlest way to put it, fingers leaving a hand to finger dark hair.

He returned a moment later with a brush. "Allow me, yes?" Slow movements as he took a hand full of hair, running the brush over it slowly. Loki'd always been a touch vain, his abilities allowing for such, body devoid of scars-

Well, they were at least. Fingers accidentally brushed his temple, soft but he apologized anyway, continuing the gesture. "I should have asked if you wanted to leave the room. Apologies for that, brother." It was foreign to both of them, more so he who spent two years away from everyone. Darker thoughts plagued him, and pushing them aside was growing harder. It was simply, everything frightened him... everything except...

"Loki, I will stop at nothing to keep you safe. You are under my protection." As he should have been earlier, but he shook his head, turning his brother's chin toward him as he motioned toward the board with the other. "After witnessing the lengths I will go through, why do you wish to return to f-" The word would not leave his lips, brows furrowing. "Asgard?"

-=-=-=-

Oh he wasn't mad. Big Brother wasn't mad. Loki sagged into a pillows with a sigh of relief, eyes drifting shut briefly. He held Thor's hand after it had been gently removed from his shirt, and Loki watching him grab a hair brush, eying its every moment until it disappeared out of his sight. Seconds later he felt it slowly drag through his hair and he involuntarily tensed up, expecting a hand next, grabbing his hair tightly and yanking on it hard enough to nearly pull the strands out of his scalp. When it didn't the trickster relaxed slowly. It was quite... nice, actually. It felt nice. It didn't hurt.

He sat as still as he possible could, focusing all his attention on what Big Brother was doing to his hair, slowly dragging to brush through it as he disentangled knots as gently as possible. It felt like a... like a...

_“A massage? Really, Thor?” Glancing over his shoulder Loki raised a thin eyebrow at his brother seated behind him in the steaming water of the tub. It wasn't uncommon for them to share one, especially not after a battle and they were both dirty and covered with filth, blood and sweat; in fact it made things easier, with hard to reach places an all._

_This was new though. He could reach his hair just fine, so why was Thor tangling his fingers through it and surely getting it all knotted up again? Had he any idea of how tedious it was to work knots out of one's hair? Thor had long hair, he should know! “You're messing up my hair, Thor.”_

_His answer was a hearty chuckle against the back of his neck. “Always so vain, brother. I'm being careful, I promise.”_

_“You and I have a very different view on the meaning of 'careful'.” The fingers slowly dragged down the back of his skull, the thunderer's blunt nails gently scraping over his scalp and Loki involuntarily shuddered. Oh! Oh... that was nice actually._

_“Perhaps, but I don't see you complaining, brother.” Thor muttered softly and pressed his fingers against the shallow dips where his spine met the base of his skull, chuckling again when Loki, after shooting him another glare over his shoulder, lowered his head forward just enough to give Thor more room to work._

_“Shut up. Keep going.”_

_“Yes sir. … would you allow me to actually brush it after our bath is finished?”_

_Turning his head again Loki stared at his older brother through half-lidded eyes; the thunderer was smiling and he couldn't help but note the hopeful gleam in his eyes. “You've been spending too much time with Sif.” he said softly, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he faced forward again before Thor could look too hurt as the words sank in. “Yes Thor, you may.”_

_Thor's grin brightened up the whole bathroom._

Loki's gasp was barely audible when he jerked back to the present, his mind still reeling with the images of the memory he had forgotten he still had. It seemed like something from another life now... like that Loki who had been so relaxed sharing a bath with his older brother and trusting his back to him... like that Loki was a whole different person, someone who had died long ago.

Someone who wouldn't come back.

His eyes burned and Loki blinked rapidly as fingers closed around his chin and pushed his head up, meeting concerned blue eyes. And there was the question he had been asked countless of times before, the question he'd only had one answer for. One answer he knew Big Brother wouldn't like. 

He eyed the whiteboard again, Thor's silence telling him he was waiting for an answer. He couldn't refuse answering. He wasn't allowed to. Picking up the marker again Loki hesitated only slightly before he wrote down the words he had written countless of times before, and showed it to his brother as he averted his eyes and braced himself. 

'not safe here'

-=-=-=-

That couldn't be. Stealing himself for the answer he did sigh, hand running through his own hair. Calmly, as calmly as he could he spoke. "I don't understand. Can you not remember all we've conquered together? The triumph of yesterday..." Granted they were toying with him and he knew it. More powerful guards would follow soon as Odin lost patience, but it only meant he'd fight harder.

So what was this, then? A lack of faith in his ability, Loki's own fear besting him... he never received the answer, taking the board and erasing the contents. "Not safe from what? Asgardian guards? From Odin himself? I will fight until bloody and continue to do so for you, brother. We all would..." Or at least he believed so. They had no other reason to go out of their way like this otherwise, and Loki had remembered them, how strong they were.

"Brother I am attempting to understand you but it's difficult. You've no one to fear, this is the safest and by far nicest place you've been in years, what can hurt you here?" Nothing, not a thing, Thor's mouth shutting before his eyes furrowed.

"Do you believe I'll allow harm to come to you?" Was it he that the doubt lay in? He hadn't considered anything of this sort would happen, but perhaps he did bear blame. Had he been more intelligent he'd have pieced together the lies sooner, perhaps that was were the trouble lay. Loki did not fully trust him.

And he was to blame for that, eyes falling to rest on the board before him. The hair brush left ebony hair to sit upon the night stand, Thor unwilling to look any longer. "I tried, and I will continue to do so, but you need to trust me when I say I won't let anything happen to you." A tap on the board and he resumed his seat, toying with the edges of hair. "Do you believe me, brother?"

-=-=-=-

Yes... yes he knew Big Brother would fight. That was part of his worries. He worried about Odin too, and the Asgardian guards who kept coming for him as well. It wasn't like he was _eager_ to go back to the dungeon and the torture that awaited him there. It was horrible and he was aware that it had nearly killed him. A little while longer... if Thor hadn't come back for him he would have died, simple as that.

But... at the same time... couldn't they understand that the Chitauri would do so much worse to him? It wasn't a matter of 'if they got him', but when. They would come. Loki knew they would. They weren't defeated yet. He could feel it in his bones that they were still out there somewhere, waiting for the right moment to come down and...

A small whine escaped him as Thor took the whiteboard and erased his answer, ducking into himself and trying to make himself smaller. His answer had... dissatisfied Big Brother once again, like his answer always did. The others didn't like his answer either, Loki was well aware of that.

Big Brother didn't want him to hurt anymore, and neither did Doctor, Scientist or Captain. But the Chitauri wouldn't make the same mistake twice. They had been defeated once before, they knew what the Midgardians were capable of now. They'd be prepared. They wouldn't be defeated by the Avengers a second time.

They'd _kill_ Big Brother, or worse, take them both and do to Big Brother what they would do to him! He _had_ to go back to Asgard, not only to save himself from the horrors the Chitauri would force on him, but to save his brother as well! He was all Loki had left...

He trusted Big Brother to do his best to keep him safe... but he didn't trust him to succeed, as much as it pained him to admit it. And he knew his answer would hurt Thor again as he shied away from the toying fingers near his hair, and shook his head, his breath hitching as tears began to fall.

Asgard meant pain, but the Other had promised to make him beg for pain. He couldn't even fathom what they would do to him to make him beg like that and he didn't want to know! So really... what other choice did he have?

He was such a disappointment...

-=-=-=-

He needn't wait for the words nor letters. Small whimpers and almost silent tears offered the answer he dared not speak. It was an answer no less, and at least he'd strength to give one, even if his patience was at an end. It answered all of his questions.

It just wasn't the one he wanted.

"I'm not angry, brother. Not with you at least." He'd yet to prove his use, and while the truths offered hurt, at least he understood the failure was his own. "I would I were alone." Mjolir between his fingers Thor took to the window, opening the latches as a storm began to brew. "Jarvis, let Tony, Steve, and Bruce know I will return before the eve is over." A pause and he requested solemnly. "I pray you apologize for the indiscretions this morning."

 _"Yes sir."_

He waited no longer, offering Loki a wave before taking to the air. Just time to himself, perhaps a visit to Jane if one could muster such. Time away from what he'd managed to disappoint... perhaps Jane could even offer assistance, she's always lent an ear in times of need.

~*~

 _"Sir, Mr. Odinson has left and wished to inform you he will return this evening."_

Tony frowned. Luckily he hadn't chose to flip the omelet then, an incredulous look cast. "… Uhm, why?"

_"He did not say, sir. I assume it had to do with the conversation had by he and Loki Laufeyson."_

Conversation, huh? He'd nit pick Jarvis about that later. "The guy can't even talk and he still manages to piss off Thor..."

Steve's fingers tapped the table, eyes curious. "Those guards have been coming everyday, and Clint and Natasha might show-"

"Nothing we can't handle. Jarvis, be on high alert for whacky aliens and keep a metaphorical eye on Loki."

_"As opposed to my literal 'eye', sir?"_

"Oh har har we are being clever this morning. Just do as I say for I am your creator."

_"Dully noted, sir. Also your about to burn Mr. Banner's omelet."_

Muttering a string of curses he turned it, sighing as he placed the very slightly brown omelet on a plate, grabbing a fork. "Well at least today can't get much worse." He'd a sneaking suspicion it somehow would anyway...

-=-=-=-

“Things can always get worse.” Scrunching his nose at the slightly burned omelet Bruce shrugged and pulled a StarkPad over – he'd eaten worse in the early days. This was still edible. Tony was right though. If the Asgardians showed up again today, of which there was a very good chance they would, and Thor wasn't here to help fend them off... that could pose a problem. A few rooms in the tower had already taken damage; Thor always got rid of the guards fairly quickly, but that was still Mjolnir he was swinging around.

… Could he at least eat his breakfast in peace before shit hit the fan again?

“So... what did they talk about if it made Thor want to _leave?”_ Steve asked and eyed the ceiling, trying to spot Jarvis' speakers without much success.

_“Mr. Odinson asked why Mr. Laufeyson wished to return to Asgard, as well as inquiring whether he trusted him. The answer was unsatisfactory on both accounts.”_

Wait what? “Why would Loki say that?” That made no sense at all! After everything Thor had risked to get Loki here, he didn't _trust_ his older brother?

Bruce just shrugged at him, not knowing the answer to that either. Loki was anything but mentally stable right now, and everything he said could be interpreted as false, or something he didn't truly mean, simply because he didn't know any better at the moment.

“Well, should we go check on him?” Steve asked as Bruce turned to his digital newspaper and burned omelet again, shaking his head.

“I'd say leave him be for a little while.”

Gritting his teeth Steve faced the table again, slowly clenching his hands into fists. He _hated_ not being able to do anything to help.

~*~

A few hours later saw both Steve and Bruce in the living room, lounging on the couch and staring at the TV, as neither was in the mood to really get up and do anything productive for a change. There was an open book in Bruce's lap but the pages had not been turned for at least an hour as he stared at the screen without really seeing it – some kind of documentary on National Geographic, not particularly interesting but at this time of day there really wasn't anything interesting on. Tony had long retreated back into his workshop and Thor was still absent. As for Loki, according to Jarvis he was sleeping. Pfft. Bruce _hoped_ he was actually sleeping for once.

Eventually Steve picked up the remote and started zapping through the channels in search of something better to watch, and ended up making various amusing and disturbing faces as they watched five braincell-killing minutes of Honey Boo Boo.

_“Sir, Agent Barton and Agent Romanov have just arrived in the lobby.”_

Both men sat up straight in an instant and looked at each other with identical Oh-Shit expressions before looking towards the elevator, seeing the number above the door changing as it moved up towards their floor.

“Jarvis, call Tony up.”

_“Already done, sir.”_

“How do we tell them?” Steve asked as Bruce closed his book and tossed it on the table, shrugging when the elevator dinged and the door slid open, revealing both Agents, tanned and looking happy to be home.

“Yo!” Stepping into the living room Clint tossed his bags to the side and took of his sunglasses, beaming brightly at them. “My favorite patriot and rage monster!”

“Hey Clint, Natasha. Welcome back.” Bruce answered, ignoring the rage monster comment as he always did. “How was the mission?”

“Hot!”

“Fine. It was fine.” Folding up her sunglasses Natasha tossed them on the table and turned to the elevator again. “And I need a shower.”

“Uh, wait!” She paused and turned, one eyebrow raised as Steve stood up from the couch, Clint quickly taking his place and claiming the remote. “There have been a few... complications that developed while you were gone and... you two should know about it.”

“Complications?”

“Yes well, Bruce and I will explain when Tony gets up here. It's... kind of a big deal.”

Clint snorted and shook his head, not taking his eyes off the screen as he muttered; “As long as there isn't an alien hiding in my room, I'm cool with everything. Fucking aliens.”

Steve barely resisted wincing at the archer's choice of words and shared a pointed look with Bruce. If only Clint realized how close his words came to the truth.

-=-=-=-

Damn it. The screw driver hit the floor, Tony waiting for the next elevator up. Ugh not that he'd a choice, but he wasn't mentally prepared for this in the slightest. It didn't take long, Tony stepping outside to pretty much be encased in what was a bear hug. One he did return, ruffling hair just as hard in return. "Tell me you did not drink the water _again,_ genius?"

"Fuck no, not after Mexico! Bottled is the only way it goes for me. Anywho, Captain said there's been a complication, you didn't knock up Pepper did you, you dumb ass?"

"Nope, knocked up Natasha. She's having our sexy lovechild but the good news is I'll let you pay for all its shit and be a father. Because that's the type of man I am."

"Hah! Well like I told the Captain, as long as it doesn't have nothin' to do with these fucking aliens I'm good."

"Fucking aliens? Nope, nothing to do with fucking aliens." He ignored the glare Steve sent his way in favor of shrugging. Well, it didn't. Certainly not a fucking alien...

"It's not even all that complicated. Some prisoner on Asgard was busted out by Thor because he was being brutally tortured, and I mean brutal. Think seventeen centimeters of intestine removal and colostomy bag brutal."

"Jesus Christ."

"I know, I know."

"Well what the fuck did the guy- or chick-do?"

"Eh, not much really. Nothing worse than we've experienced." See, no lies. "Also, guy's a bit blue for obvious reasons so uh, avoid Thor's' space."

"Does Fury know?" That was Natasha, interest piqued at the discussion of an unknown alien living with them. Especially one broken out of a space prison from an allied planet. 

"Uh, no. Not yet, but we'll get to that."

"Why doesn't he know?" The same calm demeanor she always had, her eyes somehow detached from the situation. "If Thor allowed his escape, and he's no danger why not tell him?"

… Fucking Natasha. He jabbed a finger in Steve's direction. "Captain will tell ya, he's been glaring holes in the back of my head, so I'll let him have the floor."

"Gee thanks Tony."

"A pleasure sir." A mock salute and his legs were propped against the ottoman, attention turned to Honey Boo-Boo. Well he did his part.

-=-=-=-

Two sets of eyes turned to him and Steve sighed, fingering his shield. How come he had to be the one to break the news to Clint? He wasn't the leader of this group! Well... okay, he kinda was, but they were in _Tony's_ home and Loki was mostly _Bruce's_ patient, so why him?

“So who is it?”

Sighing Steve ran a hand through his hair and turned to Clint, despite it being Natasha who had just asked the all important question. “Promise me you won't freak out.”

“Uh...” There was wariness in the archer's eyes but he nodded, a slow reluctant nod. “Yeah okay, no freaking out. So spill.”

'Kay... there was no going around it now. “It's Loki.”

The result was pretty much as they had all expected; Natasha reacting with a twitch of her eyebrows but it was Clint who exploded, his expression scrunching into one of unadulterated hate as he jumped off the couch. “I'm sorry, I just thought I heard you say 'Loki'!” the arched snapped and Steve nodded.

“That is what I said, Clint. Loki is- whoa now!” He grabbed the arched by his arm before Clint could reach the elevator, having seen the murderous glint in his eyes.

“Let me go, Steve!”

“No, not until we have a chance to explain-”

“There is nothing to explain! You just told me that Loki, who is supposed to serve a fucking life sentence in fucking Asgard is _here,_ in our _home_ and you expect me to just be okay with that? Do I need to _remind_ you all what that fucker did two years ago? The destruction he caused? The amount of deaths he's responsible for? What he made _me_ do?!”

Yes, that was a still a very sore topic for Clint, they all knew that. Even know, two years later, Clint still felt guilty, and still had nightmares about what he had been forced to do while under Loki's control. He was justified in his hate for the trickster and no one would tell him otherwise... but Steve could and would not allow him to march up to Loki's room to kill him, and neither would Bruce or Steve.

“Hear me out, Clint. You're right, Loki was supposed to serve a life sentence in Asgard-”

“See?! That's what I said-”

“- but instead he suffered through two years of horrendous torture. I can't even _begin_ to explain what has been done to him, only that it far exceeds what I thought Asgard capable of! Loki was more dead than alive when he got here.”

Clint huffed at that, clearly still not convinced and it showed. “But still alive, something I need to rectify.”

“Oh for the love of God, Clint! What part of 'torture' do you not understand? Even _you_ wouldn't kill him if you saw him now.”

“Oh really? And why is that?” the archer asked, raising his eyebrows in a challenging way, but Steve had his answer ready.

“Because you wouldn't kill someone who's that defenseless. Seriously, don't make me ask Jarvis to show you the footage of when he got here. Loki is under the protection of me, Bruce and Tony now, and you have every right to hate it, Clint, but please remember that Thor brought him here because he trusts us and because this was the only place he could go to. You don't have to like it, but for Thor's sake, please accept that Loki will be staying for a while.”

Clint _still_ didn't seem convinced, his eyes still burning with anger and hate, but at least he was no longer trying to wrench himself free him Steve's grip.

“Is Thor here?” Natasha asked in an attempt to change the subject, and looked from Steve to Bruce, who took off his glasses and rubbed them clean on his shirt. 

“No, he left a few hours ago after he had an... argument with Loki, but he said he'd be back before dark.” At Natasha's continued stare he elaborated. “Loki seems to think that he's not safe here-” Clint snorted. “- and he keeps making it clear he wants to go back to Asgard.”

“Well, then let him, if he wants to go back that badly.” the archer muttered darkly, but Bruce ignored him. 

“We haven't been able to figure out why Loki wants to go back to Asgard's dungeon. He hasn't said a word since he arrived here but the whiteboard we gave him only does so much. And I don't know when he'll be able to tell us why, if he ever will. He's... severely traumatized, let us keep it at that.”

“Great. More good news.” Grumbling to himself Clint stomped back over to the couch and flopped down, arms crossed over his chest, and proceeded to glare at everyone in the room. “Anything _else_ we need to know about?”

Steve, Tony and Bruce shared a look, and the Captain sighed. “Well... now that we're on the subject of Asgardians...”

-=-=-=-

Yup. Yup this was going just about as well as he thought it would, Clint turning various shades of color. "So... lemme get this straight. Thor took Loki out of his cell, brought him here, and... and what? Asgardians come here from time to time and ask for him back?"

Heh, ask... yeah, they came knocking, sweetly whispering words of soft encouragement, but it wasn't the time to be a smart ass, not with Steve already struggling with an explanation. That and he totally forgot to change said blue alien's colostomy bag, not that it mattered because he consumed so little, but Thor would still be out for a while. And he was totally used to doing it, so long as he kept his crotch wayyyyyyy away from Loki's face.

He managed to slip away during the stammering, taking the stairs down a flight and the elevator the rest of the way; it wasn't like it mattered if they knew where he was, Clint wouldn't hurt him with everyone up in arms, no matter how short tempered. The door remained shut, Tony opening it and nodding in Loki's direction- shit, he was actually asleep, or had been; he seemed to stir at every little sound. Offering a wave he almost announced it again before noting how damn _warm_ it was... really Thor? The air conditioning had been on full blast for a reason and the dumb ass let cool air out.

"It's that fun time again, Loki." He removed a small bag from the closet before walking towards the wide open window, face turned the way of said blue alien. "I'm sure Thor will be back s-"

Right in the fucking _face._

Feet left the ground only to be halted by the wall, all of his weight crashing down in surprise as his cheek whipped further to side as the whatever it was slammed into him. Another something rammed into his chest and he slid against the tile, eyes flying open to view the golden armor, guards armed to the _teeth_ with what were a variety of weapons. "Orders from the All-father, this prisoner is he-"

Arms outstretched they were almost instantly clad, the clank of metal colliding with the helmet of the Aesir, hard enough to thankfully get him the fuck off. Breathless and practically wheezing he stood rapidly, adrenaline motivating him more than anything else as the guard nearest Loki was next, quicker than the ones prior. He recovered far too quickly for Tony's liking, his best and only move for the movement was to get Loki the fuck out of there!

"Jarvis, tell Steve to get his ass down here!" As for Bruce, well, he'd handle that in a moment. The only silver lining was the narrow window, guards piling in slowly, unable to as a blast ejected from the palm of his covered hand. He'd forgo the helmet, it was hard enough to breath, blood running into his mouth and spat onto the side as another few blasts were shot, a distraction more than anything else. Just long enough to remove the IV from its stand and place it on the bed before gripping the edge and pulling, frame scraping the tile as he rapidly pulled, eyes on the window. He could hear boots behind him, a quick look and he confirmed it was Steve. "Get Loki out of here, to the opposite wing, I'll join you."

"Yeah but what about you?" A smirk and Tony exhaled. "Jarvis, relay this message." The door shut behind him, he counted eight guards, fully armored and none to friendly. So much for civility, wad of bloodied spit joining the other. "Metal Man is _bleeding_ in Thor's room."

-=-=-=-

It all happened so fast; one moment he had been dozing off before Scientist entered the room, and the next moment Loki had watched how the man had been tossed against a wall as Asgardian guards climbed into the room through the open window. They were here! They were actually here in the room with him!

Loki sat up straight in bed, frozen in place and unable to do anything but watch as Tony turned into Iron Man and punched one of the guards away before he tossed the IV stand in his lap and began to push the bed out of the room. No no no no no! They were he to get him, to take him back to Asgard, as he should!

Thin hands grabbed the metal frame of the IV stand and tried to push it off the bed just when Steve joined them and took over from Tony, who jumped back into the fight.  
“Leave it alone, Loki. I'm getting you out of here.”

Loki looked at Steve's determined face as the captain began to push the bed down the hall, slowly making more speed and taking him further away from where Tony was facing off eight Asgardian guards alone. Teeth grit Loki pushed against the IV stand, feeling it slide off his lap where it clattered on the tile floor, forcing Steve to stop again. Immediately the trickster began to squirm, attempting to kick off the blankets that covered him as Steve picked up the IV stand. “Loki, stop it. I have to get you out of here!”

No! No! He had to... they were here for him! Gloved hands pushed against his shoulders trying to pin him down but Loki only struggled more, even though he was no match for the Captain's strength. “Loki, stop! Please, just stop! I'm trying to help you!”

No, he wasn't! A hoarse yell left Loki's throat as he kicked and squirmed, even going as far as to beat his fists against Steve's shoulder in an attempt to fight him off. He had to go with them, had to go back!

“Dammit, Loki!” Steve grunted, finally managing to grab one of the god's flailing arms; locking his fingers around a thin wrist he pinned it back against the pillow and leaned over the trickster as he grabbed for the other one, teeth bared. “Knock it off, Loki! I'm _not_ letting you go with them! Don't you understand we're trying to help you?”

His answer was a heated glare from blood-red eyes and Steve was taken aback for a second... that was the first emotion other than fear and sadness that he'd seen in Loki, but he had no time to reflect on it as Jarvis' voice sounded through the speakers.

_“Sir, the Hulk is on his way.”_

Oh _crap!_ Loki was still making desperate attempts to get out of bed and he could hear explosions and yelling from the room where he had left Tony. And now Bruce had changed too? “Where are Natasha and Clint, Jarvis?”

“Still in the living room, sir, holding back another group of Asgardians.”

 _Shit,_ just how many were there? Just how far was Odin willing to go to get his prisoner back, and where was Thor when you needed him?!  
Movement down the hallway and Steve grit his teeth as two guards came his way. He tightened his grip on his shield and stepped in front of the bed, defensive. “Stay here, Loki. Just stay here.” he hissed and raised his shield, deflecting the first swing of a sword before he used it to bash the Aesir's head in.  
“Jarvis, a location on the Hulk, come on!” The next sword missed him narrowly as the AI answered.

“The floor, sir.”

What, the floor-?

With a mighty roar said floor broke open halfway a few feet away like the shell of a melon, a large green mass climbing out and smashing one of the Aesir into the wall. The other guard Steve had been fighting turned at the commotion behind him, allowing the Captain to knock him down to the floor and after another warning to stay put Steve ran after the Hulk who had bounced off in Tony's direction.

Loki wheezed out a gasp and flopped back into the pillows, panting for air; his struggle just now had taken nearly all of his energy and the sight of the green beast had terrified him enough he had stopped fighting the Captain instantly. But now they were gone and they had left him behind with two unconscious guards. He couldn't give up yet.

He slowly untangled himself from the wires and tubes from the IV and leaned over, gripping the bed's frame tightly as he tried to slide his legs off the mattress and put his feet down on the floor, but as soon as he tried to stand his knees buckled, to weak to hold his weight and Loki collapsed back on the floor with a short cry. The fall jarred his healing ribs and for a few seconds he could do nothing but lie there and try to fill his lungs with air as his body spasmed in pain. He really didn't want to go to the room where the green beast was, but that was also where the other guards were. His arms trembled under the strain as Loki pushed himself up on his elbows and raised his head... just in time to see that one of the Aesir hadn't been as unconscious as he had appeared.

Loki froze, watching with wide open eyes as the guard stirred and slowly sat up before turning and glaring at him. There was blood on the man's face, and Loki whimpered as he stood up and reached for him, slamming his hand down between his shoulder blades to force him flat on the floor again. “Got you now.” the guard hissed, yanking the trickster's arms behind his back before reaching for the shackles that hung from his belt. “The All-father is most displeased with you, Laufeyson. And I see you have your restraints removed.” The metal of the shackles bit into his wrists and Loki tried not to jerk away as the Asgardian pressed a finger against one of the healing holes the bolts had left in his skull. “We'll rectify that as soon as you're back into the dungeon where you belong.”

Yes... it was better this way... Loki bit back a sob as the guard roughly hauled him to his feet, one hand tightly fisted into his hair as he called for Heimdall. He'd never see Big Brother again and he'd miss him terribly... but it was better this way... This way his brother would be kept safe too.

-=-=-=-

Damn it. The commotion outside was roared onward, Tony catching what Jarvis said with a wince. Shit, more of them? Finally donning his helmet the metal mask slid into place with a clang, fist colliding with a helmet just as a sword collided with his helmet, metal clanking, sparking, but unable to penetrate. Where the fuck was Thor? He was rushed this time, outnumbered on either side, and if it wasn't for his ability to fly he'd have been crushed, the yelp and colliding of weaponry drowning out Jarvis' next words.

They weren't necessary anyway. Not as the door completely splintered, taking bits of ceiling with it, the massive figure taking a look around the room before emitting a roar, loud enough for the people on the street to-

Fuckkkkk! A crowd had already assembled, onlookers pointing at the busted glass, the additional body on the pavement not exactly helping members as armor glinted. The media, Fury, the planet would know about this tomorrow by day break, and what excuse could they even give?

Far too difficult to breath he removed the front of his mask, blinking before moving rapidly, the curdling scream of a man falling from the floor to the pavement as Hulk did what he did best almost deafening. Maybe he should have kept the mask on... too late. The Hulk had already set his eyes on his next target and Tony almost _pitied_ the guy, tile cracking as he was thrashed skull first into the floor. As much as he should stay Hulk had this covered, Tony rushing out the hole created and gripping his nose between metal fingers, feeling around before snapping it back in place with a sickening pop and a fresh spatter of blood.

All to witness Loki settling beside a guard, shackles around him. All to see the little, blue idiot _volunteering_ to leave after everything.

What he couldn't take out on Loki was taken out on his 'handler'. Fist after fist after fist collided with either eye, body lifted and thrown into the opposite room, unhinged and splintering under the might. He was so sick of being _nice._ It wasn't even his style, sympathy running dry as he lifted Loki and flew down the hall, all but slamming him on the bed. "Cut the _shit!"_ A metal finger pointed, eyes narrowed. "You act like you want the torment or want to die, but you had a way out; that window was left ajar for hours." 

Infuriated brown stare into red, the sound of glass breaking spurring on his rage. "Everything we do causes you physical _agony,_ I hear you whimpering damn it, so don't pretend you like the pain, and act like you wish to die. You're not broken, you're still in there, there's enough of you left to feel fear and sob, so there's enough of you left to get a fucking grip.

"When Thor returns, if you still want to go back, fine. But you owe him and the rest of us a god damn explanation, and 'not safe here' doesn't count when we're taking down our supposed allies left and right for you, so come up with something better." Another wad of blood was spat onto the floor, face of the helmet replaced once more. "Now if you'll excuse me..." the venom vanished with him, rage taken out on the Asgardians he encountered instead.

-=-=-=-

Loki was left on the bed, his hands still trapped behind him as Tony's words echoed in his head. He slowly rolled onto his side and pulled his legs up, his whole frame shaking with his sobs. He was pissing off and disappointing everyone around him; the All-father... Big Brother... and now Scientist. He didn't want to die... but it was slowly starting to look like he should have died a long time ago.

The fight was violent but short. Steve had sparred with Thor plenty if times before but that was just it... these guys, while definitely Aesir, were _not_ Thor, and even though they were missing one of their strongest team members they managed to drive them off, a bright beam of light shooting down from the skies to take them back up to Asgard.

Steve didn't think they had seen the last of them yet. Wiping his brow he dropped his shield and walked over to where Tony was, leaning closer to look at the blood of his face. It seemed like he had snapped his own nose back in place but someone would still need to look at that later. Bruce was unavailable at the moment though, for obvious reasons. Looking around the room he sighed; what a mess... rubble and broken furniture everywhere, holes in the floor and walls... not to mention the sound of sirens reaching them through the broken windows. Fury was going to have a field day with this...

Patting Tony on an iron clad shoulder Steve made his way back to where he had left Loki, and frowned at the sight of him curled up on the bed. “Loki?”

No response. With a sigh he reached for the blankets to cover him with and it was then he noted the shackles around the god's wrists. Oh god, they had nearly gotten him. This time Loki didn't even flinch as he fingered the chain and grimaced; strong, and they didn't have the key. Tony would have to get these off later. 

The elevator dinged as he draped the blankets over Loki's trembling body and looked up, relief flooding him as Natasha and Clint walked in. They looked battered but not too injured. “You guys okay?” he asked and Natasha nodded, glancing over to the bed as she holstered her pistols.

“Where's Bruce?” she asked, after it became clear that Steve and Tony were okay for the most part as well, and the Captain shrugged.

“Cooling off somewhere. I hope.” His answer was directed at Natasha, but his eyes were on the archer. Steve took a step to the left, positioning himself between Clint and the god on the bed behind him, but the archer just grumbled under his breath and looked away.

“Fury is going to know about this now.” Natasha said what they all thought, and Steve nodded, face set into a grim expression. Yeah... there was no avoiding it now. Fury was reasonable enough that he wouldn't stand for the torture Loki had suffered through either, but... now they had ended up fighting Asgard directly and that wouldn't sit well with the director. He wouldn't risk war with Asgard over _one_ prisoner who was technically still considered an enemy to earth. Honestly, he didn't know what Fury would do or decide...

And they'd have to relocate Loki to another floor now, or perhaps even to another building depending on the damage. Didn't Tony still have that mansion in Malibu? Ugh, Thor wasn't going to like this either.

“Loki, are you okay? Did they hurt you?”

Still no response, and Steve's shoulders sagged. Seemed like they were back to square one with him...

-=-=-=-

"They didn't hurt him." 

It was probably his fault, eyes glimpsing the destruction around him. He didn't really care either. "Jarvis, let me know when Fury gets here, and especially when Thor gets here." So he could deck him in the face. It was bound to be all over the news anyway, it was only a matter of time before he appeared.

It took longer than he would of liked, convincing paramedics to let Bruce recoup there. And of course they wanted to know what happened, Tony writing it off as a 'drill' and saying nothing more. Under an insignificant amount of rubble, he'd managed to find Bruce unconscious three floors up, with the help of Jarvis. Some injuries here and there, but it was mostly exhaustion. Tucking him in was easy enough, water and a note by the nightstand as always. Hell he wished he could join him; his left eye was completely swollen shut, nose bearing one of those ugly little bandages. He was fine, he'd much worse. He just did not want to deal with a certain director who was- as Jarvis told him- on his way.

_"Sir?"_

Undressing into something a bit more comfortable, three Excedrin were taken with a gulp and a sip of water. "Yeah?"

_“Thor is approaching rapidly."_

The crack of thunder and Tony headed towards the elevator, shutting the door almost silently as he left the room, careful not to disturb Bruce. The stares he got from everyone else stares were ignored, Tony at the top of the tower waiting, the billowing red cape seen from a distance away.

He landed in moments, guard down and Mjolnir only lightly in his grip. All over the news, it was everywhere... Thor could but view the purpling bruise around Tony's bandaged eyes, and the small bandage around his nose. Jane had hurried him along, but he'd still been too late, the attack obviously far more aggressive then the ones prior if amateur videos from the public meant anything. "Are you al-"

It was like colliding with a concrete block, but that didn't mean it was gratifying to see Thor’s head whip around as his iron clad fist drove into the side of his face before Tony turned on heal and walked away, gesturing as if nothing happened. "You had it coming."

"Fair enough." His jaw popped into place with a small crack, sure to bruise but more focused on keeping up stride, joining Tony in the elevator as they made way toward the massacred living room, stuffing and furniture strewn about. He didn't ask what had occurred, he already knew. What he hadn't expected to see was Clint and Natasha, looking a bit bruised themselves. "I assume you were already-"

"Filled in? Yeah, we _heard."_ One could not blame Clint for his anger, his attention turning to Steve. "Has the director arrived yet?"

"No, but he's on his way."

Tony metal clad hand and arm disbanded, pieces flying to where they belonged as he took a seat, scotch in his hand. "So... this is pretty fubar."

"My apologies, I was with-"

"Don't care, I don't like you right now. Or your idiot brother who tried to let himself get recaptured... something we _really_ need to talk about."

"He attempted..." A sigh left Thor and had Tony more sympathy he may have felt bad, but he was tired, bruised, and pissed. "Yeah, well, we can discuss that after Fury gets here."

-=-=-=-

It didn't take long for Fury to arrive. They were all waiting in what remained of the living room; Steve paced, Tony drank, Thor sulked, Natasha remained her stoic self and Clint was brooding in a corner, until Jarvis informed them all that Nick Fury had just entered the lobby and was on his way up. A thick silence fell over the room, broken only by the rhythmic tapping of Clint's fingers on the table and Steve's footsteps, until the elevator dinged and the doors slid open.

Fury stepped out, followed by Maria Hill and two SHIELD employees. His hands were clenched behind his back as he looked around the destroyed room, taking note of their injuries and bruises with a grim expression. If he was surprised by Thor's presence he didn't show it.

“Someone _please_ tell me what the hell just happened.” he hissed, trench coat billowing behind him as he stepped further into the room. “People are panicking on the streets about another alien invasion and the Council is breathing down my neck for answers! Where's Banner?” he asked Steve, who straightened immediately.

“Resting, sir. He hulked out but he's alright now.”

“No shit he hulked out! The internet is flooding with videos of him throwing _Aesir_ out of this damn tower! You explain to me what is going on right now!”

-=-=-=-

Steve looked between Thor and Tony, waiting for one of them to explain. Tony's house, Loki's brother, so surely one of them should take the floor. The glare he received from Tony was enough to get him to turn towards Thor, nudging him him lightly with his boot.

"Asgard has no interest in invading Midgard."

"Oh that's great. Then would you care to tell me why our supposed allies are attacking the members of the Avengers in Stark Tower in front of the general public?"

Whatever Thor was going to say died on his tongue, a hand covering his face, muffling the words save for 'Loki', 'prison', and 'here.' It was enough to allow Fury to live up to his name, Maria Hill animated behind him in clear protest. "I did not just hear what I thought I heard."

“Which part needed clarification? Loki being here, Odin wanting him back or the thing with the torture?"

"Tony cut it out."

"Oh bite me Steve, it's what Thor just said, essentially." Just not muffled by any emotion, Tony was way too tired to care as Fury clenched his fists and looked between he and Thor. Heh, he was used to being on the shit list with Clint, not so much with Thor.

"I need _answers_ and I need them now."

"Jarvis, you heard the man. Show him."

Steve eyed him for a moment as the lights dimmed, but Tony offered him a small mouthed sentence. 'It's better this way.'

...He had a point. Fury wasn't the type to listen to them, not unless the cold, hard facts were supported by something obvious and tangible. The reel played, Clint turning various shades of color, Natasha's eyebrows twitching, and Fury... silent for a change. From the state they found him in, then the footage of himself elbow deep in intestine, the squeak of metal bolts as they were removed ingraining themselves into memory. More snippets than anything, and someone left to go empty the contents of their stomach, Tony already up and pouring a shot of Scotch and handing it to Clint who downed it with barely a wince.

"I've seen enough." It didn't take much, just the footage of the first hours and the surgery, a grim expression set against Fury’s features before he turned his attention to Thor. " Is this what you had in mind when you said 'Asgardian Justice'?"

"No, of course not. Lashings yes, but we're a different people, we heal from that within days." A shake of his head and elbows rested upon knees again, head between his hands. "I'd no idea the extent until recently, and 'twas only after I formulated an idea that I could ensure his escape."

"Well, were is he?"

"One of the rooms by the medical wing..." 

Already Fury turned to board the elevator, jaw set firmly. " I have a few questions for him."

"Yeah well good luck with that. He doesn't talk." That got an eyebrow raise, Tony sighing before joining him in the elevator. "I'll get the whiteboard, but don't expect anything." And obviously Thor joined, as did Steve, Clint considering it before walking into the elevator with Natasha close behind.

It felt like eternity, wandering down halls that sparked in certain areas, electrical wires jutting from the walls. Somewhere along the mess lay the small board, Tony grabbing it, Steve already inside the room where Loki would stay. Even from the hall he could hear Thor’s apology to Loki, and closer inspection revealed he was again by his brother's side. "Tell the guards to wait outside, he's panicky enough as is." It was a murmur between Tony and Fury, the idea considered before he nodded, blatantly aware that Loki was not going to attack him. A few moments and he stood in front of him, eying the blue skin, the emaciated frame, and various scars and bruises. 

"You remember who I am?" No point in talking if he didn't.

-=-=-=-

Fury's stare was met with frightened ruby eyes, flitting from person to person. They all made sure to keep their distance, as Loki was wound up enough from today’s events already; only Thor and Steve remained near, on either side of the bed. 

They were all here except for the Doctor... Big Brother, Scientist and Captain... Archer, Spy... and the Director. The one with the eye patch. 

Ant. Boot. 

He had been told that once by this very same human, stuck in a glass prison and Fury threatening to drop him from the Helicarrier. He was the ant, and everyone else was the boot about to stomp down on him.  
Loki twitched and turned his head away, though his eyes remained on Fury's face; it was clear the god was beyond nervous and was already gravitating closer to his brother, slowly nodding. Yes, he remembered.

“What else do you remember?”

Loki frowned and Steve put a warm hand on his shoulder, addressing Fury. “Yes or no questions are easier for him. He... hasn't really shown he's capable of long answers even with the whiteboard.”

Fury sighed and twitched his fingers. Fine. “Do you remember what you did two years ago?”

Loki's answer was something between a hesitant shrug and a nod as he averted his eyes. He remembered, but only bits and pieces, vague images and blurred memories. Just the basics, no details and there were... gaps in his memory.

“Have you tested whether he has amnesia?” Fury asked and Steve shook his head.

“No time, we were too busy trying to keep him alive, sir.”

“No shit...” Clint muttered darkly. He wouldn't be able to forget the footage Tony had shown them for a while. Perhaps there was some pity felt for Loki, but only because he didn't condone torture, especially not from this caliber. Still hated the guy though.

“So let me get this straight.” Fury continued and settled his eyes on Loki again, who pressed himself further into the pillows and refused to meet his stare now. “Asgard's king as been sending his men down every day for a week now to collect his half-dead adoptive son... why?”

“We don't know, sir. Thor didn't exactly have permission to bring him here. Right?” An affirmative nod from Thor and Steve continued. “Loki also wants to go back for some reason and we haven't been able to figure out why. His answers are always the same, that he's 'not safe here'.” And it was getting extremely frustrating.

Fury grit his teeth as he gave Loki another once-over, observing how his bandaged fingers clenched around the whiteboard, how his thin shoulders trembled and his face was pressed against Thor's shoulder, before he looked at the thunderer. “Handing him over to Asgard would result in more of... _this?”_

“Most likely, sir.”

Not the answer Fury seemed to be waiting for. Bracing his hands against the metal frame on the foot of the bed he inhaled deeply, going over the options in his head. They could hand Loki back to Asgard, to appease the All-father and get him off their backs, at the very real risk of losing Thor as an ally. Or they could keep Loki here and risk war with Asgard, as well as risking that Loki would become an enemy again if he recovered.

Thor was a powerful ally, one he'd rather not lose, but the choice seemed obvious. Even so... the torture didn't sit well with him at all. It was beyond inhumane and not what he had expected Asgard to be capable of. Not even in his darkest nightmares would he have wished treatment like this onto his enemies. The short video had said enough and it hadn't even shown him everything, and Stark, Rogers and Banner all seemed to be on Loki's side. Sending Loki back meant sending him right into the hands of his torturers. 

He sighed. In the end there was only one choice he could make. “I want him moved to a more secure facility, one with decent access to medical help. I want him monitored and supervised 24/7. No Thor, this is not your call.” he added when he saw the thunderer open his mouth to protest.

“As long as you keep Loki here and as long as Odin keeps sending his men down, you're risking the people of Manhattan. You're welcome to stay with him, but not _here._ We'll move him to a more secure SHIELD facility away from the population, underground where the Asgardians won't be able to reach him so easily. Loki is still considered an enemy to earth, and I'm willing to stick out my neck for him this time, but it will be done on _my_ terms.”

Fury straightened and locked eyes with everyone one on one. “And that is my final word on the matter. I'll have preparations made, I suggest you do the same.”

-=-=-=-

It was fair, regardless of the protest Thor would have put up. Hell it sounded better than he'd like to admit, given that Loki still hadn't answered his question. He wouldn't ask again, not in front of Fury, instead nodding as he took a look around his building that would again need reconstruction. An attack at Stark Tower, Pepper was going to have a field day...

"Are we going with my statement about a drill gone too realistic?"

"It's the best option for now."

"Mm. We'll transport him." Given it was his area of expertise, being snaky and hi tech and all that crap. A nod from Fury, and as quickly as he came did he fled, Tony refusing to say another word until the elevator light stopped blinking. He wasn't going to ask around Clint and Natasha, they knew the circumstance but hadn't _lived_ it, hadn't been attacked and injured fighting for someone who wanted to surrender.

And he wanted as answer. Not tomorrow, not years away, now.

"Thor." Steve was the only one left beside the both of them, Tony leaning his weight against the wall. He'd rather join Bruce in sleep than anything else, but something had to be made known between them all. Scotch had helped ease his nerves somewhat, the bed dipping under his weight.

"Steve and I saw it, when the Asgardians came, and Thor, I need you to listen, as Loki's brother _and_ a protector of our planet."

A nod from his peripheral and Tony continued, his attention on Loki. "You have the answer from all of us, including Fury. We're willing to look past the prior destruction to keep you from further harm. We're putting our lives on the line for you, and it's fine. Really, we put our lives on the line all the time so whatever. It's always for the good of the planet and all that frilly crap." Thor looked between them, brows furrowing, but remaining quiet.

"My point is, I'm not going to stick my head out for someone who will voluntarily resubject himself to torture. This isn't a guilt trip, Loki, it's a fact. You let one of those guards shackle you-" it was hard ignore the sound Thor made but he did so, intent on making his point "-willingly. I not risking my life for someone who doesn't want it."

"What are you saying, Tony?" Steve had a feeling he knew, especially after today, but still...

"… Give me something to work with or count me out of this, and I'm serious Thor. I get you're protecting what's yours." Eyes remained on the ceiling, looking in the direction of the person he knew was sleeping. "I'm doing the same. If you wanna fight, Loki, we're here. If not..." He shrugged, looking away. "There's nothing more for me to say.

"… Loki?" A large hand covered the slighter blue, thumb tracing knuckles, voice hoarse. This... could very easily destroy all the progress they made, but he understood the decision. For the sake of everyone else, they needed to know.

"Do you still wish to leave, Loki?" He fought the sting as best he could, voice tightening as he gripped the board. He'd still try to keep him safe, he would give his all, but not at the risk of anyone else. He'd been selfish for too long, forcing Loki to live when he may not have wanted to...

"What say you, brother?"

-=-=-=-

Steve grit his teeth as a silence fell over the room, all three of them waiting for Loki's answer. He understood Tony, he really did; the man had a lover he wanted to protect and keep safe. He could understand if Tony no longer wished to risk his life for someone who perhaps didn't even want to be saved anymore. It was a tough decision, but he could respect it. Had he been in Tony's shoes he would probably have done the same.

He eyed Loki, who was clearly struggling with his answer, red eyes flitting all over the room. He hadn't actually seen what Tony claimed he had seen, that Loki had allowed the Asgardian guard to chain him up. Perhaps it had only looked that way? The trickster was so weak, perhaps he hadn't even been able to resist. Loki had already put up quite a struggle as he had attempted to wheel him away from the battle and Steve could easily imagine that it had robbed Loki of whatever strength he had, leaving him defenseless against the guard.

Still...

Loki slowly leaned forward in the bed and the whiteboard slipped from his fingers to fall into his lap. They were waiting for an answer, but the only answer he was capable of giving was one that only seemed to anger and frustrate them further every time he gave it. So what could he do? What could he write down if his honest answer would just... 

Thin, trembling hands pressed against his face and Loki took a deep, shuddering breath before his fingers slid into his hair and gripped tightly. He didn't know. He didn't _know!_

Steve caught Thor's worried eyes as the trickster began to rock back and forth, hands fisting his own hair. No answer was almost worse than the answer he hoped he wouldn't get, and now Loki seemed to be withdrawing even further into himself, perhaps because he realized his answer wasn't what any of them wanted to hear. And Tony had made himself pretty damn clear.

“Tony...” he began. “Whatever you decide, I will respect that and I won't ask you to reconsider, but I'm going with Thor to whatever facility Fury picked out.” That, and Tony had a tower to rebuilt, it would help if they were all out of his hair. Clint and Natasha would probably come along too, giving Tony and Bruce the privacy and peace they'd probably been craving for a while.

Perhaps this, Loki's lack of a clear answer, was better for once. And who knew, maybe in a few weeks time his answer would be different, if they could just get him to start talking so he could explain what he really, truly wanted. Perhaps this was all just one giant misunderstanding.  
Realizing that, it gave Steve a little bit of hope. Not much, but it was still better than nothing. Sighing he stood up, watching Loki who was still rocking back and forth without pause, and shook his head. Well then... “Best we start making preparations I think... the sooner Loki's in a secure facility the better.” He looked at Tony again. “Are you at least willing to help us get him there safely?”

-=-=-=-

It wasn't difficult to figure out. Rocking and wordless, it was painful to view, Steve’s words putting an end to the wait. "Of course. I'll make some arrangements, putting something together won't take that long." Not with his pull and resources combined with SHIELD's abilities. A pat on Loki's shin and he offered a shrug, sharing a glance around the room. He couldn't take anymore chances, simple as that, not with what he had on the line. He'd be out within the next few days.

And there was nothing more to say.

Thor watched him leave with a sense of finality, eyes locked on the back of his head until the elevator dinged. Even with his decision he could not find anger. Again he held Loki’s trembling frame, Steve’s attention on him. 

"Maybe this will be better for you both, somewhere away from the general public." Without prying eyes everywhere, Loki could hopefully be free to heal, depending on Fury's terms. The fact he was even willing to do this said a lot about their convictions, Steve giving Thor a final pat on the shoulder and time to be alone with his brother.

It was spent in silence, Thor’s arms enclosed around Loki. "It will be alright brother." He hated to lie to him but it was more for himself at the moment, comfort forcibly slipping between the uncertain thoughts. "It will be alright."

~*~

He'd kept his promise, something Thor could appreciate as they began the strenuous move. The location was hidden, Thor not even entirely sure of where it was and with reason; should he encounter Odin at any point, he needn't lie. A few hours away, and travel was modified to include trek by plane to solely vehicles after protest from almost every Avenger. Fury may have overall say, but this move with Loki would be arduous enough. Steve, Thor, and even Bruce and Tony to a lesser extent attempted to explain the process to Loki, that he would be moved and that there was nothing to be afraid of. Whether it truly managed to get through was another issue entirely.

Still in the early hours of the morning Thor saw himself dressed, helping himself to coffee. Tony had called him to the work shop, SHIELD agents on the way. Transported by what was just shy of a tank, Loki would remain enclosed with Thor to keep him calm. They'd managed that much, and Thor could only imagine what Tony had to show him, eye no longer swollen and face almost entirely healed. The Asgardians had stayed away, for now. One could only imagine when they'd return...

"Which is why I made this." Or modified it, and it hadn't even taken that long. Gold and green, similar to that of his own iron suit save for the emerald sheen. Hey, he and Loki shared a flair for the dramatic, it wasn't a bad thing. No reason not to show case it.

"It's another Man of Iron?"

"Nope. This is Jarvis. Well, another Jarvis, without his personality. Think of it like a bodyguard." A snap of his fingers and said suit came to life, feet clattering around before standing in front of Thor. "And it's programmed to remain within twenty feet of Loki at all times so should you need to visit Jane again, you can." Thor ignored his own wince, aware that it wasn't a slight. He also took the gift for what it was; Tony would remain behind, as would Bruce. The clang of iron and similarity was not lost on Thor. He still supported the decision, and for that he was grateful.

"I have much gratitude for the kindness shown these past weeks." Fingering the cool metal shoulder that stood by him, Thor extended his hand, grip firm around his allies fingers. "I am indebted to you."

"I'll hold you to that. Just let me know if shit changes, Thor." He still couldn't fathom Loki's decision or reasoning, and maybe when he did he'd be convinced to become involved personally. Until then... "Take care Thor."

Indeed, he would. Pleasant good byes exchanged, the companionship of Jarvis and Steve accompanied him in the elevator, Natasha and Clint to follow later. As the overhead voice of Jarvis described, the agents of SHIELD were ready for reception, with Thor taking personal responsibility in moving his brother.

"Loki?" His tone remained gentle as it had in the past few days, frustration at his brother's antics giving way to exhaustion. This was just as stressful for him, no doubt, and Thor took a seat by his side as he pointed to the new machine, gold and green bright and ready. "This is a gift from Tony, it is specifically programmed to listen to you... or read your requests." As it was programmed, evidently. It stood silently, waiting for a command. "It will aid in moving you, do not fear it, alright brother? " He wish he could explain more, settling for petting ebony hair. "It's time."

-=-=-=-

Loki was sluggish to move when Thor entered, followed by Jarvis in his shiny new armor. Bruce had already left after bidding him goodbye and good luck, but not before administering a sedative into his IV. They had all unanimously agreed that it would help. They hadn't forgotten Loki's panic fit when Thor had wheeled him into the kitchen... and this was much bigger. A trip by vehicle and plane that would take several hours, and while Thor and Steve would remain by his side, there would also be people Loki didn't know fussing over him during the trip. The sedative wasn't potent enough to knock him out, but enough to put the trickster into a daze so he'd be less prone to panicking.

Since no one could be absolutely sure if their explanations of where they were going were really getting through to him and if he understood what was about to happen.

Blank ruby eyes slowly drifted from Thor and settled on Jarvis, eyebrows lowering as Loki attempted to process what he was seeing in his drugged state. It looked like Scientist when he was wearing his metal skin, but the colors were off. It was all... wrong. Why was it here? A gift? Why would Scientist leave him a gift? He hadn't done anything to deserve a gift... quite the opposite in fact. He did not understand.

The door opened and Natasha stuck her head inside, looking at Steve and the two brothers. “They're here. You guys ready?”

“As ready as we'll ever be.” Steve muttered and nodding to Thor, moving to the front of the bed to lead the way as Thor pushed it into the elevator, Natasha joining them.

“Where are we going exactly?” Steve asked her, though he kept his eyes on the trickster in the bed, wary for any sign of an upcoming panic attack or a struggle. Loki was still staring at Jarvis with a puzzled expression.

“Classified. Fury isn't taking any security risks, you'll see when we get there.”

Huh, figures. 

The elevator took them all the way down to base level where Tony stored his cars. A big van with blackened windows stood waiting for them there, the interior looking like a mixture of an army van and an ambulance. A stretcher stood ready and Loki clung to Thor as he was lifted from the bed he had spent the last few weeks in, blankets and all and was placed down on the new mattress.

Despite the sedative in his system, Loki was beginning to show signs of nervousness now as hands strapped him in place so he wouldn't fall off during the ride, thick pillows keeping him cushioned and comfortable, but Loki's breathing was still picking up speed and his eyes were wide open.

“Easy Loki, its nothing to worry about.” Steve said softly as he climbed in after Thor and took one of the trickster's hands. It was he, Thor and Jarvis, along with two SHIELD guards in the back, while Natasha took to the front of the van with another guard and the driver.  
He knew more cars stood parked outside, undercover agents who would follow them and keep an eye on things as they drove towards the airport.

Loki's fingers tightened around his hand as the van began to move, the other hand reaching for Thor, and Steve fingered the bottle of sedative in his pocket. Bruce had given it to him, just in case, and Tony had insured him Jarvis would be able to administer the proper dose should it become necessary. He hoped he wouldn't... he hadn't forgotten the last time they had put Loki under a full anesthetic. 

It had nearly killed him.

-=-=-=-

It was lucky for him that Loki, for reasons he did not entirely comprehend, took a liking to Steve. He calmed somewhat as either hand was held, vehicles taking off in a steady line. Thor didn't need to see it to know it was happening, SHIELD was organized, years working with them had allowed him to observed such.

How long they remained in the van was beyond his knowledge, voice cooing when small bumps were hit along the way. Tinted windows guarded any light, the drive long and admittedly intimidating. Thor could only imagine what was passing through Loki's mind, the last time he'd been transported beside the kitchen fiasco involved his move toward Midgard. Hands gripped thin ones, eyes kind. He hadn't made nearly as much progress as he'd hoped.

The plane seemed unavoidable, van coming to a halt barely outside the small aircraft, ramp leading to the plane already available. On the count of three he was lifted again, Thor’s hand tightening. "I'm here Loki. All will be fine." He could only hope he believed it. He'd never been on a plane himself... it was strange, as was the take off, stomach undergoing a strange sensation as they took to the air. He much preferred flight of his own volition, clouds passing and buildings fading to nothingness as they slipped to incredible heights. All the while his attention remained on Loki, Natasha seated beside whom ever controlled the plane from the cockpit.

Another few hours and they landed, touching down on a runway that seemed deserted save for several small buildings encasing it, all with tinted black windows and white exteriors. It reminded him of hospitals, or at least the exterior of them, the pristine condition oddly out of place considering how vacant the area appeared. The trip had been a quite one, Jarvis on stand by until they touched down, coming to a halt. Yet another small vehicle for transportation awaited them, and from there it was a wheel chair he helped Loki into, the interior of the building they entered as pristine as the outer area.

It wasn't as deserted as expected, though he was glad the glances were minimal. It was Natasha who lead the way from this point, obviously informed more about the procedure and necessities than either Thor or Steve. Clutching Loki's hand he followed, silently. He wasn't sure he appreciated that...

One could count the grey and white tiles, the walls of the facility an off bone white. It screamed sanitary, clean. It also screamed asylum in Steve's opinion though he kept that to himself, coming to a stop at what was the back end of the facility, frowning.

There wasn't much privacy, the room larger than others but the walls was made of a transparent plexi-glass enclosure save for the bathroom. An IV stood at the ready if necessary, two beds and an accompanying couch, desk, and chair located within the room. The light fixture over head, one lamp on a small nightstand and cameras in all four corners where the only other features. Thor aided in settling Loki down for a final time, pulling blankets over him. He was visibly shaken, though he hadn't expected much less, and for the first time in a few hours he spoke. 

"We're here, Loki." This was it after all. "Our new home."


End file.
